Kindness

[XenoFish]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/imperfect-spirituality/200912/the-selfish-act-kindness

kindness, and related qualities like empathy, sympathy and compassion are actually a form of self preservation. 

 

[Helen of Annoy]

19 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/imperfect-spirituality/200912/the-selfish-act-kindness

kindness, and related qualities like empathy, sympathy and compassion are actually a form of self preservation. 

 

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the ultra-materialist dogma, that is accidentally psychopath-friendly, that makes poor psychologists invent the excuses for psychos. excuses that should allow them to function like sane human beings.

No matter how perverse that is, I'm all for it. Whatever excuse they want, I offered similar few pages back, just be kind.  

[XenoFish]

Just now, Helen of Annoy said:

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the ultra-materialist dogma, that is accidentally psychopath-friendly, that makes poor psychologists invent the excuses for psychos. excuses that should allow them to function like sane human beings.

No matter how perverse that is, I'm all for it. Whatever excuse they want, I offered similar few pages back, just be kind.  

Kindness in any form really is a selfish act. Altruism is the same. Be kind, because kindness feels good. It's the feels good that motivates kindness. Along with who knows what other hidden motivations as well. 

[Helen of Annoy]

5 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Kindness in any form really is a selfish act. Altruism is the same. Be kind, because kindness feels good. It's the feels good that motivates kindness. Along with who knows what other hidden motivations as well. 

All right, now I am laughing at you. 

Xeno, you don't have to deny your emotions. There's no hidden, greedy and/or Freudian plot behind everything everyone does. Majority of people are more-less sane and yes, they feel good when they see their actions made other person feel better. But it doesn't make kindness selfish. (Though I still support the idea to coax actual psychopaths into acting kind out of purely selfish motives.)

You know why I know your psycho theoretics are wrong? Because I know from experience that emotionally functional people are trying to do good even when they're too sad to feel good themselves.  

[XenoFish]

2 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

All right, now I am laughing at you. 

Xeno, you don't have to deny your emotions. There's no hidden, greedy and/or Freudian plot behind everything everyone does. Majority of people are more-less sane and yes, they feel good when they see their actions made other person feel better. But it doesn't make kindness selfish. (Though I still support the idea to coax actual psychopaths into acting kind out of purely selfish motives.)

You know why I know your psycho theoretics are wrong? Because I know from experience that emotionally functional people are trying to do good even when they're too sad to feel good themselves.  

Perhaps their kindness is just a way of getting the neurochemical response they can't get elsewhere. Doing good to feel good, because they can't feel anything. Apparently you seem to think everything I present is a joke. Not very kind of you that is. But I suppose you get an emotional kick from it. Odd thing to do is a thread about supposed kindness and kinda reinforces my belief that people are deep down, purely selfish creatures. 

[Helen of Annoy]

16 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Perhaps their kindness is just a way of getting the neurochemical response they can't get elsewhere. Doing good to feel good, because they can't feel anything. Apparently you seem to think everything I present is a joke. Not very kind of you that is. But I suppose you get an emotional kick from it. Odd thing to do is a thread about supposed kindness and kinda reinforces my belief that people are deep down, purely selfish creatures. 

Well, I'm not going to lie to you, but I will laugh with you. Notice that I said 'with you', not 'at you'. I'm sorry you were hurt, but since I'm not going to lie to you, I must add that it's impossible not to hurt you.

All right, I'll stop laughing. But I won't stop thinking it's funny that psychopath-friendly society wants 'scientific' excuse for emulating healthy people. 

Just emulate, why the excuses? It's the sanity you see yourself it's opportune to be emulated, for the love of...  here I go again, but not at you, at the poor confused psychos. 

They're complicating too much. Probably because a psycho sees only themselves as real, everyone else is an item to be used, so from that they tend to take themselves deadly serious. 

I've noticed that happier, sane people are not taking themselves seriously at all. 

[XenoFish]

17 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

I've noticed that happier, sane people are not taking themselves seriously at all.

You seem to. 

[LightAngel]

6 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

It's very kind to gently remind people of the immense wonder of kindness.   

This is why I think that your act of kindness with posting that ultra-lovable video is not just theoretically kind, it also actually makes a difference. A little difference, a drop in the ocean, but the oceans are made of drops    

 

 

You are always so thoughtful and kind.

 

[Helen of Annoy]

37 minutes ago, LightAngel said:

 

 

You are always so thoughtful and kind.

 

I wish I was. 

I can be relaxed and therefore simply kind with you and other sane people, because it's how you too act and react. It's an outright balm for the mind and soul. Thank you all! 

 

It's a little harder with people who suffer from serious emotional and/or mental problems. Especially if the nature of their impairment makes them prone to manipulating (for example, extorting sympathy, insisting on elevating themselves to the status of supreme victim that gets to blame and torture others or else they'll die from offendedness... etc.). 

Sadly, that's where unlimited superficial kindness is actually not kind at all. They have to be informed of the reality. Their reaction is always negative, naturally, since you're shaking their inner universe, in which they invest so much energy while being aware it's not in fact realistic. 

If it's a real lunatic in real life, it's best to leave it to the professionals. Call the police, they'll call the psychiatric hospital. 

But if it's a troubled person on the Internet, it is an act of kindness to openly advise them to seek professional help if they can't grow up on their own. 

I apologise for a number of people is now all offended because they recognized themselves. I love you guys, I'm troubled myself, don't be offended, be strong and seek professional help. There are true pleasures in this seemingly depressing life, waiting for anyone who's not an complete *******.  

[LightAngel]

2 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

 

I can be relaxed and therefore simply kind with you and other sane people, because it's how you too act and react. It's an outright balm for the mind and soul. Thank you all! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please laugh again Helen, I miss it. 

[Helen of Annoy]

Ha! Like I need a particular reason to laugh  

Now, will you excuse me, I have to do exactly this: 

4 minutes ago, LightAngel said:

 

 

 

 

 

at my husband. 

He won't think I went insane, he knows I'm insane since ever  

[LightAngel]

9 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

 

He won't think I went insane, he knows I'm insane since ever  

 

I guess certain things get worse with age, huh? 

[Helen of Annoy]

17 minutes ago, LightAngel said:

 

I guess certain things get worse with age, huh? 

 

I like to think these are advantages. 

For example, bad hearing that comes with age spares you the irritation in public places or from the noisy neighbours but it also gives you the second chance - you can repeat something completely else and much kinder than the initial, unheard words were.

I'm almost looking forward to that  

 

 

[+Desertrat56]

4 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the ultra-materialist dogma, that is accidentally psychopath-friendly, that makes poor psychologists invent the excuses for psychos. excuses that should allow them to function like sane human beings.

No matter how perverse that is, I'm all for it. Whatever excuse they want, I offered similar few pages back, just be kind.  

I agree with you.  My dad had a subscription to that magazine for years, a sociopathic, narcissist, addict, but he read every page of that magazine.  And you can wonder which came first, the addiction or the narcissism and it would be the same conundrum as the chicken or the egg question.

[Helen of Annoy]

1 hour ago, Desertrat56 said:

I agree with you.  My dad had a subscription to that magazine for years, a sociopathic, narcissist, addict, but he read every page of that magazine.  And you can wonder which came first, the addiction or the narcissism and it would be the same conundrum as the chicken or the egg question.

There's this problem with egocentric people, they never consider an opinion that's not favourable for them as something they will ever allow to be true. But if an opinion supports their own view, it instantly becomes unquestionable truth. 

We can all say we all do that - if we're honest - but not to the irrational extent. Sooner or later, we admit to ourselves what's the realistic situation. A narcissist never admits, they deny, blame, twist and spin, threaten and cry.  

I'll never forget how a murderer, a man who shot his wife and few more persons close to her, broke down in tears at his trial. Because he was so moved with his own martyrdom he had to cry over himself. My brain stops a little each time I remember that. So eerily shameless. So impossibly inhuman. So honestly unaware of anyone else but themselves.

I can be informed that there's a brain that works like that, but I can't possibly get into that role, I can't really feel what it feels like to be like that. It's the same on psycho side. They can be informed what a sane human behaviour looks like, but they can't ever really feel compassion. So they're looking for 'explanations' on what makes sane people fake it   

I find the 'explanation' for kindness as an ultimate form of selfishness so hilariously psychopath I even wonder how could stuff like that be real until I remember the crying psycho murderer. Only on his example I finally understood how differently they perceive the reality. They honestly believe we're all must be looking for a gain of some kind, because only selfish gain can motivate them, so it must be truth for everyone else. 

Well, it's not.

Natural, sane kindness, seen in animal behaviour too, comes out of compassion, out of recognition of others as entities that are similar to us, alive and feeling what we too feel. To be happy for someone is just as natural as being happy for yourself, no particular explanations needed for mentally healthy people. But it puzzles an egocentric to no end, since they don't perceive others as similar to themselves.    

So personally, I see attempts to explain - or even worse - debunk kindness as very direct indication the debunker needs a compassionate but professional help.   

And then I find out there are professionals out there debunking sanity like they're afraid there will be a shortage of *******s if they don't prove psychopathy is the new normal   

Of course, it makes me sorry for them. Their existence is the closest to the idea of Hell, if you ask me...

 

Someone kindly tell me to shut up already    

[+ouija ouija]

Helen, you do know, don't you, that Xeno left by the back door immediately after he typed post #160?

[XenoFish]

23 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

Helen, you do know, don't you, that Xeno left by the back door immediately after he typed post #160?

Are we going to have a problem? 

[Helen of Annoy]

22 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Are we going to have a problem? 

Actually, we just solved your problem of not being the main attraction in the thread for a few brief moments.  

Please do climb back on your pedestal.  

 

[XenoFish]

6 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Actually, we just solved your problem of not being the main attraction in the thread for a few brief moments.  

Please do climb back on your pedestal.  

 

Yeah, what I'm seeing are a group of people who are patting each other on the back about how "nice" they are. When some of them are quite pompous, arrogant, and self righteous. 

[Helen of Annoy]

12 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Yeah, what I'm seeing are a group of people who are patting each other on the back about how "nice" they are. When some of them are quite pompous, arrogant, and self righteous. 

So, you'll fit right in   

Come on, loosen it up a little. Don't just complain, make a joke. On my expense. 

 

 

 

edit: It's past midnight in my part of the world. I have to go now, but I'm looking forward to see you tomorrow. No, really, there's a person under these defence mechanisms of yours. 

Edited January 11, 2020 by Helen of Annoy

[LightAngel]

9 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

 

Natural, sane kindness, seen in animal behaviour too, comes out of compassion, out of recognition of others as entities that are similar to us, alive and feeling what we too feel. To be happy for someone is just as natural as being happy for yourself, no particular explanations needed for mentally healthy people.

 

 

True. 

 

Edited January 12, 2020 by LightAngel

[openozy]

On 1/11/2020 at 12:21 AM, iridescence said:

This duck could teach many a lesson on kindness

 

Too slow a retrieve,into the frying pan 

[LightAngel]

1 minute ago, openozy said:

Too slow a retrieve,into the frying pan 

 

[Habitat]

12 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

I can be informed that there's a brain that works like that, but I can't possibly get into that role, I can't really feel what it feels like to be like that.

I feel the same about basketball enthusiasts. 

[LightAngel]