+joc Posted March 20, 2020 #1 Share Posted March 20, 2020 13 minutes ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: I believe that our 'essence' comprises the gamut of emotions and behaviours. We select from that spectrum based on a given situation. Sometimes the choice is deliberate, other times it's a knee-jerk, instinctive response. Furthermore, people can, and do, change. Indeed, we're constantly changing — physically, emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. Our behaviours are not hardwired, nor are they constrained by genetics and the like. The only constraints are the choices we make. Using Helen as an example, 'soft and sweet' is not her essence. Not that she's neither of those things, but that her nature is not so simplistic. Neither is yours, for that matter. We are extraordinarily complex, and I would argue that it's how we manage that complexity that defines us. If, for example, I were to ask someone whether they were kind, caring or understanding, the most honest answer, in my opinion, would be "when and if I want to be." Anyone who answers with a straight yes or no, would be lying. Thanks for the thoughtful response...but consider your own child hood....from whence we all came...what is your character today? Does it reflect the inner child that you were when you were a child? Mine does. I remember and have a copy of a letter I wrote Santa in first grade. Dear Santa, I think of the Angels in Heaven. How is Mrs. Clause? ...and on and on and on, finally asking nicely for a BB gun and stuff for my sisters. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted March 20, 2020 Author #2 Share Posted March 20, 2020 1 hour ago, joc said: People do not change. One can change their habits, can change their hair styles, can change their friends, but one cannot change who they actually are. Soft and Sweet is who you actually are...the rest of it...the 'mouthy witch' is only a defense mechanism to protect the Soft and Sweet One. I once had a moat around the fortress of my heart. When someone came in, the drawbridge would close, trapping them inside and keeping others out. One day I had a conversation with the Little Boy that ran the fortress. I took the keys, unlocked the drawbridge, bulldozed down the fortress and filled in the moat. Now my heart is an open field free for anyone to come and go as they please. We all put up fortresses to protect the Little Girl or the Little Boy inside. That Little Girl is who you are. It's who we are. And we don't change. It is our essence. Soft and Sweet is your essence. Empathetic, caring, and understanding is my essence. The Modern Psychopathy invites us to take part in it, by either embracing it, or by hating it...either way...it wins! Our embracing it does not give it legitimacy nor does our loathing of it change it in any way. We also have the choice to just ignore it...and be the person we actually are. Helen is indeed a sweetheart, and she is always there for her friends. You really impress me with this post - it's very uplifting, and we need a lot of that, especially now - so thank you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted March 20, 2020 #3 Share Posted March 20, 2020 8 minutes ago, joc said: Thanks for the thoughtful response...but consider your own child hood....from whence we all came...what is your character today? Does it reflect the inner child that you were when you were a child? Mine does. I remember and have a copy of a letter I wrote Santa in first grade. Dear Santa, I think of the Angels in Heaven. How is Mrs. Clause? ...and on and on and on, finally asking nicely for a BB gun and stuff for my sisters. Our so-called inner child does not reflect the sum of our parts. It's just but a bit player in our totality as individuals. We change. We grow. We evolve. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted March 20, 2020 Author #4 Share Posted March 20, 2020 55 minutes ago, joc said: Does it reflect the inner child that you were when you were a child? Mine does. I remember and have a copy of a letter I wrote Santa in first grade. Dear Santa, I think of the Angels in Heaven. How is Mrs. Clause? ...and on and on and on, finally asking nicely for a BB gun and stuff for my sisters. Thank you for giving me a big smile on my face right now. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightly Posted March 20, 2020 #5 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, joc said: Thanks for the thoughtful response...but consider your own child hood....from whence we all came...what is your character today? Does it reflect the inner child that you were when you were a child? Mine does. I remember and have a copy of a letter I wrote Santa in first grade. Dear Santa, I think of the Angels in Heaven. How is Mrs. Clause? ...and on and on and on, finally asking nicely for a BB gun and stuff for my sisters. I love it....you were a sweet little guy, very thoughtful of you to ask for stuff for your sisters. ...and to ask " How is Mrs. Clause?". .... I suspect that was to help Santa decide to deliver on the BB gun? Eta:. Now I have to know....Did he? I'm wondering if Santa's helpers may have thought you a bit young yet? Edited March 20, 2020 by lightly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted March 20, 2020 #6 Share Posted March 20, 2020 3 hours ago, lightly said: I love it....you were a sweet little guy, very thoughtful of you to ask for stuff for your sisters. ...and to ask " How is Mrs. Clause?". .... I suspect that was to help Santa decide to deliver on the BB gun? Eta:. Now I have to know....Did he? I'm wondering if Santa's helpers may have thought you a bit young yet? No...but later that summer my Uncle Don gave me one! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted March 20, 2020 #7 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: Our so-called inner child does not reflect the sum of our parts. It's just but a bit player in our totality as individuals. We change. We grow. We evolve. The old proverb goes, As the tree is bent, so shall it grow. We become 'who we are' at a very young age...that's why they call them 'The Formative Years'. I am not stating a hard and fast rule...all rules have stipulations, and, it's not even a rule...but generally speaking...the formative years define our character which we 'build on' through out the rest of our lives. That's all I'm really saying. So...if you see a thug and they say they've changed...my first thought is...you may have changed your habits...maybe...but you are still a thug, because people don't change. It's a defense mechanism all by itself. But...again...generally speaking...the 'inner child' is who we are. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! Edited March 20, 2020 by joc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightly Posted March 20, 2020 #8 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, joc said: The old proverb goes, As the tree is bent, so shall it grow. We become 'who we are' at a very young age...that's why they call them 'The Formative Years'. I am not stating a hard and fast rule...all rules have stipulations, and, it's not even a rule...but generally speaking...the formative years define our character which we 'build on' through out the rest of our lives. That's all I'm really saying. So...if you see a thug and they say they've changed...my first thought is...you may have changed your habits...maybe...but you are still a thug, because people don't change. It's a defense mechanism all by itself. But...again...generally speaking...the 'inner child' is who we are. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! I think that is generally true too. For some reason, I seem to be able to see a Veryvery young child, and quite often, SEE the sort of person they are. Many seem to be almost born with some sort of personality..and ,innate, traits and tendencies . ....and I'm glad Uncle Don came through for ya! Edited March 20, 2020 by lightly 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drakonwick Posted March 21, 2020 #9 Share Posted March 21, 2020 On 3/19/2020 at 7:22 AM, LightAngel said: I think I explained this when I started this topic?! I'm kind most of the time because it's a reflection of who I am. Besides, the best way to fight rudeness is often with kindness - because you take power out of someone's rudeness if you treat it as their problem, instead of your problem. However, I mostly meet kind people. Completely agrees! Interesting! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmccr8 Posted March 24, 2020 #10 Share Posted March 24, 2020 On 2/20/2020 at 4:23 AM, Crazy Horse said: The question then becomes, what, or how, is the best way to "destroy" ignorance et al? Hi Crazy Horse In some cases I think shock therapy may be of benefit. jmccr8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted March 25, 2020 #11 Share Posted March 25, 2020 We are who we are. Time passes, we are forged in the fires of life, good or bad. A kind hearted person can become a spiteful individuals if hurt enough. A hard heart can soften just a little. We are shaped by our lives and the things in it. Not all good people are good, not all bad people are bad. Sometimes the good ones wear kindness as a mask, sometimes the bad ones wear their anger as armor. Being a live, a person, it a complicated thing. Love me or hate me, I am who I am. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted March 26, 2020 Author #12 Share Posted March 26, 2020 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted March 26, 2020 #13 Share Posted March 26, 2020 One thing I have noticed is that families seem to be doing more 'family' oriented things. Like talking... Taking walks together... Playing ball in the yard... You know the old saying: Haters gonna hate? Well...the other old saying is that Kind People gonna be Kind! so...be kind You never know who's day you will make with just a simple act of kindness 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted March 26, 2020 Author #14 Share Posted March 26, 2020 24 minutes ago, joc said: One thing I have noticed is that families seem to be doing more 'family' oriented things. Like talking... Taking walks together... Playing ball in the yard... You know the old saying: Haters gonna hate? Well...the other old saying is that Kind People gonna be Kind! so...be kind You never know who's day you will make with just a simple act of kindness It's amazing how grateful some people are when you help them. The light in their eyes is priceless. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightly Posted March 26, 2020 #15 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Just sharing a tiny smile between strangers warms both hearts. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spud the mackem Posted March 26, 2020 #16 Share Posted March 26, 2020 3 minutes ago, lightly said: Just sharing a tiny smile between strangers warms both hearts. Kindness and Courtesy cost nothing they are Free ,if more people did it the world would be a better place . cheers. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Horse Posted March 27, 2020 #17 Share Posted March 27, 2020 On 3/24/2020 at 5:58 PM, jmccr8 said: Hi Crazy Horse In some cases I think shock therapy may be of benefit. jmccr8 Hello mate. It has happened to me many a time. And yes, with the right attitude, a "slap-round-the-face" can awaken a paerson to some home truths.... Only, if one actually had this "good attitude" to begin with, then the harsh awakening wouldn't have been necessary in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted March 31, 2020 Author #18 Share Posted March 31, 2020 On 3/26/2020 at 6:55 PM, lightly said: Just sharing a tiny smile between strangers warms both hearts. Yup. On 3/26/2020 at 7:01 PM, spud the mackem said: Kindness and Courtesy cost nothing they are Free ,if more people did it the world would be a better place . cheers. Indeed. We mostly are what we give. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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