Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -
LightAngel

Kindness

393 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Helen of Annoy
27 minutes ago, Manwon Lender said:

Nah, I think it can help him to vent his frustrations in the manner he doing here. I kinda enjoy having him around, it's kinda like a box of Chocolates you never know what you going to get. But his post above is a little strange, I was conversing with opanzy about our experiences with mentally ill family members, I did mention I have PTSD. But I really don't t know where the comments in his post are coming from.

Thank you and thank you @openozy, for talking openly about your experiences. It takes courage and it can actually help others who find themselves in similar situations. 

 

27 minutes ago, Manwon Lender said:

As far people acting aggressive on chat forums I find it very amusing. Key board warriors are comical not threatening to me, sometimes you want to meet them face to face but you also know that will never happen because those same people would never speak in person in the manner they do online. 

Exactly. Absolute majority of verbally aggressive people on the Internet are like that precisely because they can't express themselves in the real life.

You'd think they know by now that we all know it works like that. 

 

27 minutes ago, Manwon Lender said:

Take care and Merry Christmas and have a wonderful new year.

Merry Christmas to you too and may the new year surprise us all... positively, of course :D  

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 2
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Desertrat56
On 12/25/2019 at 6:08 AM, openozy said:

I like how you label people when we are all a combination of these,get off your high horse.

Telling a narcissist to get off his high horse is like telling a bird not to fly.

  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XenoFish
2 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

Telling a narcissist to get off his high horse is like telling a bird not to fly.

What about penguin? 

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Desertrat56
2 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

What about penguin? 

I guess it would be like telling a penguin not to swim.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Manwon Lender
1 hour ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Thank you and thank you @openozy, for talking openly about your experiences. It takes courage and it can actually help others who find themselves in similar situations. 

 

Exactly. Absolute majority of verbally aggressive people on the Internet are like that precisely because they can't express themselves in the real life.

You'd think they know by now that we all know it works like that. 

 

Merry Christmas to you too and may the new year surprise us all... positively, of course :D  

Wow, I think We are being stalked, I didn't even mention his name and he is following us through this thread.:w00t: What are we going to do, where can we hide!!!:w00t: well maybe Rabid just needs to be included, I suppose we could just relax and allow him to follow us, that's certain the charitable thing to do.:devil:

To be clear he us putting smiley faces on our posts.

Peace.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
openozy
12 hours ago, Alchopwn said:

It sounds like a long  overdue job for a psychologist.

LOL,the system has given up on that women and her family,I wouldn't be surprised if the myriad of psychologists that tried to guide these people aren't in mental health facilities themselves.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
openozy
7 hours ago, Desertrat56 said:

Telling a narcissist to get off his high horse is like telling a bird not to fly.

You can pinion them though.

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LightAngel
14 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

It seems like perfect time to note that excessive verbosity is not just extremely tiresome trait, but it's also a clear warning sign of mental instability. 

I'm not talking about chattiness, that's not always pleasant, but it's still normal. But if a person is not even listening to others and keeps delivering endless tirades, that are increasingly inappropriate and/or disconnected, it's time for self-protection to kick in.

It's an easy thing to do in a forum, I just stop reading offensively egocentric and/or bizarre posts.

Real life is more complicated, of course, not just because it's considered impolite to simply ignore people, but also because some unstable people might react aggressively if you refuse them. 

 

 

I think the most important part of communication is to be a good listener. 

Good communication skills require that you care about others and that you have a high level of self-awareness at the same time.

The more we listen, the more we can also read between the lines! :yes:

  • Like 5
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XenoFish

Kindness is a verb, so do it, be it. No point in discussing it. That's why it's called an act of kindness. 

  • Thanks 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Habitat
19 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Kindness is a verb, so do it, be it. No point in discussing it. That's why it's called an act of kindness. 

I think you will find it is a noun.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GlitterRose
On 12/25/2019 at 3:28 AM, RabidMongoose said:

If you look at the those who unstable people target then they dont target other unstable people.

They attack the decent people who have things going for them. Even worse, they can sense these targets within a few seconds of them entering the room by the vibes they give off. They radiate off positivity, confidence, happiness, and light.

We live in a culture which tells us to promote and advertise our decent qualities but when we fall for it we make ourselves targets. The trick is to hide what we really are. To put on a mask of negativity, low self-esteem, unhappiness, and darkness, to evade detection in the first place. Lets divide people into three groups:

Sub-Humans: The criminal and deranged element of society which are disasters. They are on a downwards path in life and have a tendency to suck other people into the abyss with them. Most avoid them because of this and because they find it quite stressful being around such people. They target decent people for destruction out of hate and jealousy. If they can function well enough to hold down a job then they hide what they are from people in authority by putting on a mask. They target regular people too, but not to the same degree of hate and resentment.

Regular Humans: They avoid sub-humans and they avoid superior-humans. With the former its because they dont want sucking down into the abyss, with the latter its because they make them feel bad about themselves.

Superior-Humans: The genuine talent in society. The attractive, the intelligent, the athletic, the gifted, the successful, the rich, the popular, the famous, etc. In order for them to function properly in society then they too have to hide what they really are from other people. Otherwise the sub-humans try to destroy them and the regular humans avoid them.

Boris Johnson messes up his hair and acts the clown. Trump acts like an incompetent inept moron. Theresa May acted like a boring grey robot. They are all strategies to prevent themselves by targeted by sub-humans and to prevent regular people from avoiding them. Wearing what we really are on our sleeves is a poor life strategy.

We need to consider who we are around, essentially who our audience is, before we display our true selves. It might not be right, but thats human nature.

Interesting, round-about way you've managed to call anyone who doesn't support Trump sub-human...in a discussion about kindness.

 

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy
6 hours ago, XenoFish said:

Kindness is a verb, so do it, be it. No point in discussing it. That's why it's called an act of kindness. 

As it was kindly pointed out by Habitat, it is a noun, but grammar is not a problem, the problem is that there in fact are people who do not know what kindness is and what they can get from it. 

It's mildly tragic that I have to put it that way - what one can get from it. But that's how low human society has fallen already. 

There's a lot of people who are kind because empathy is their natural trait. And there's a lot of people who were either born with psychopath traits, either their experiences were so awful they had to shut their empathy down to protect themselves. 

But even those who don't feel the need to be kind, or are afraid to be kind, still should consider introducing kindness into their behaviour, simply and utterly cynically because it's useful in the long run. 

What goes around, comes around. It's true. Just like an ******* makes everyone around himself (or herself) miserable, creating higher chances for himself to be hit by one of irritated people back, so does a kind person make everyone's day a tiny bit brighter, creating better environment for themselves too. 

 

Even the animals are grooming each other, simply because they like it and don't they also profit from it? Better hygiene, better mood, better relations within the group, better chances for survival. 

 

Unkind people, those incapable of or had repressed their empathy are actually a bit hindered in their survival department. 

We, humans, are social animals. Not just our progress, but our very survival depends on our successful cooperation. Not to digress into blathering about how we got to this point, but greed and selfishness are advertised lately as 'smart' traits. We are all in danger because of that. 

 

This is why I think we absolutely should talk about kindness. And, absolutely, yes, practice it.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XenoFish

I don't care what habitat thinks nor says. His opinion literally means nothing to me. That's a kindness I give myself. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy
12 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

I don't care what habitat thinks nor says. His opinion literally means nothing to me. That's a kindness I give myself. 

It seems that you're referring to my post above.

So, well, thank you, I guess, for informing us about that contradictory position in which you're currently. 

I mean, you're posting here, obviously reading other peoples' posts and it sort of looks like you've got nothing to say except that it means nothing to you. So, 'scuse my curiosity, but why are you wasting your time on something that means nothing to you? 

 

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XenoFish
Just now, Helen of Annoy said:

It seems that you're referring to my post above.

So, well, thank you, I guess, for informing us about that contradictory position in which you're currently. 

I mean, you're posting here, obviously reading other peoples' posts and it sort of looks like you've got nothing to say except that it means nothing to you. So, 'scuse my curiosity, but why are you wasting your time on something that means nothing to you? 

 

If they are on ignore I don't bother reading them. So whatever was said in regards to my earlier comment, I don't care. You brought it up. I made my point clear. He's on ignore to save me the stress and frustration of having to deal with someone who goes above and beyond to create conflict. It's a kindness unto myself. Is that a problem? Should I henceforth trouble myself with someone who doesn't matter to me?  I'm all for kindness, actually doing something is better than praying for something good to happen. If you have a problem with what's in bold, that's on you and everyone else who thinks/feels the same. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Desertrat56

If we can't be kind to ourselves it is impossible to be kind to others.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Love Buzz
14 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

If we can't be kind to ourselves it is impossible to be kind to others.

My mother used to say the same thing. I treat people exactly how I would like to be treated.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XenoFish
18 minutes ago, Love Buzz said:

My mother used to say the same thing. I treat people exactly how I would like to be treated.

Was it "Kindness starts at home" by chance?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy
53 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

If they are on ignore I don't bother reading them. So whatever was said in regards to my earlier comment, I don't care. You brought it up. I made my point clear. He's on ignore to save me the stress and frustration of having to deal with someone who goes above and beyond to create conflict. It's a kindness unto myself. Is that a problem? Should I henceforth trouble myself with someone who doesn't matter to me?  I'm all for kindness, actually doing something is better than praying for something good to happen. If you have a problem with what's in bold, that's on you and everyone else who thinks/feels the same. 

Well, you've got a guy on ignore, but he happens to be right, you know. It's just grammar, no big deal, but it's a bit irrational to throw a fit about rejecting someone while there's an actual correct info in his post. 

It almost looks like you're trying to bury your little grammar mishap under sudden emotional outburst.

I'm sure that's not the case, but it almost looks like that.  

 

But no one in this thread suggested any praying. How did you come to conclusion I'd support substituting kindness with prayer alone? Did you even read my post? 

 

Besides, praying can't hurt. Sometimes, often, I so wish I could help. And there's nothing I can do. So I pray. 

Of course, it's a waste of time for people who don't believe in that stuff, but even if they're right, I still find comfort in the fact that there's desire in my mind to help another person and that in my mind, it is not a waste of time. 

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XenoFish
1 minute ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Well, you've got a guy on ignore, but he happens to be right, you know. It's just grammar, no big deal, but it's a bit irrational to throw a fit about rejecting someone while there's an actual correct info in his post. Still don't care.

It almost looks like you're trying to bury your little grammar mishap under sudden emotional outburst. Nope, I've got over a year of reasons for ignoring him.

I'm sure that's not the case, but it almost looks like that.  It isn't the case. Got my reasons for ignoring him. 

 

But no one in this thread suggested any praying. How did you come to conclusion I'd support substituting kindness with prayer alone? Did you even read my post? SOme people see prayer as a kind act. Sure it's the thought that counts, but thoughts don't do much at times. I skimmed your post at most. You and I don't have a good 'working relationship.' 

 

Besides, praying can't hurt. Sometimes, often, I so wish I could help. And there's nothing I can do. So I pray. Which amount to making yourself good for doing nothing. It's mute. 

Of course, it's a waste of time for people who don't believe in that stuff, but even if they're right, I still find comfort in the fact that there's desire in my mind to help another person and that in my mind, it is not a waste of time.  But it does nothing. It's inert. Prayer just makes people feel good while they do nothing. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy

@XenoFish :lol: Honestly, I envy you sometimes. The character you've built for this forum is so certain about own beliefs it totally looks enviously comfortable. 

 

I'm not so lucky. I doubt almost everything. I doubt my own self the most. 

I often wonder how much of my empathy is real and how much is a sort of superstition, you know, if I choose not to be an ******* and in this case I've got an excuse to be one, maybe the Universe won't send me more *******s today. :D No, really. 

Of course, there's inexhaustible amount of *******s in the Universe. I'm trying not to be one, especially not out of sheer amusement, but it's sometimes hard to resist. 

 

Anyway, I don't blame people who pray when they can't help in physical manner. (I already said I do that too.) 

Of course, prayer doesn't exclude palpable kindness. Quite the contrary. 

I'd say it does count too. In my own experience, people can actually feel when you're intensively thinking about them - it can be through classic prayer or simply focusing on someone, on sending them proverbial good vibes. 

The most important thing is that I've never heard anyone complain about ill effects of good vibes, so why not? 

 

Now, it sadness me that you seem to think prayer and kindness are excluding each other. Have I misunderstood you? 

Because if I understood that correctly, it must make you feel extremely uncomfortable when people are mentioning praying. 

Of course, you won't believe me, but still I will offer myself as an example of a person who does pray but will gladly help in completely material manner, if possible. 

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Desertrat56
2 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

@XenoFish :lol: Honestly, I envy you sometimes. The character you've built for this forum is so certain about own beliefs it totally looks enviously comfortable. 

 

I'm not so lucky. I doubt almost everything. I doubt my own self the most. 

I often wonder how much of my empathy is real and how much is a sort of superstition, you know, if I choose not to be an ******* and in this case I've got an excuse to be one, maybe the Universe won't send me more *******s today. :D No, really. 

Of course, there's inexhaustible amount of *******s in the Universe. I'm trying not to be one, especially not out of sheer amusement, but it's sometimes hard to resist. 

 

Anyway, I don't blame people who pray when they can't help in physical manner. (I already said I do that too.) 

Of course, prayer doesn't exclude palpable kindness. Quite the contrary. 

I'd say it does count too. In my own experience, people can actually feel when you're intensively thinking about them - it can be through classic prayer or simply focusing on someone, on sending them proverbial good vibes. 

The most important thing is that I've never heard anyone complain about ill effects of good vibes, so why not? 

 

Now, it sadness me that you seem to think prayer and kindness are excluding each other. Have I misunderstood you? 

Because if I understood that correctly, it must make you feel extremely uncomfortable when people are mentioning praying. 

Of course, you won't believe me, but still I will offer myself as an example of a person who does pray but will gladly help in completely material manner, if possible. 

This reminds me of a story my friend told me.  Her grown son was still living at home and did not have a job.  She kept nagging him to get a job, but he would only half heartedly do it.  One day she set upon prayer to make him get a job.  She knew what she was doing, it was not prayer to any god, it was very strong thought over and over "Just get out of bed, just get out of bed and put your pants on, just get out of bed, put your pants on and go out, just get out of bed, put your pants on, go out and get a job..."

Suddenly she heard a thump in his room and he was on the floor with one leg in a pair of pants rolling around trying to figure out what was going on.

She felt very surprised and ashamed.  But it is a good example that we do know what people are thinking if they think hard enough and prayer has very little to do with any deity.  This is not something my friend made up, but instead of just nagging him after that she had a conversation explaining that she was worried that he would never be able to take care of herself and someday she would need someone to take care of her.  (he did get a job and eventually moved into his own place at age 32)

Also, I have another friend who considers certain types of prayer black magic "Please god make so and so do something specific".  I agree, if it had any power it would be black magic.  The thing is, my sister and brother used to pray for me that way and I could feel it and would be angry with them for no apparent reason.  Sometimes it would be the way the spoke to me and sometimes it wouldn't, but I knew what they were doing.  If anyone you are close to is doing that you know it but maybe you want to pretend like you don't because it is such a disrespectful thing.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XenoFish
24 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

@XenoFish :lol: Honestly, I envy you sometimes. The character you've built for this forum is so certain about own beliefs it totally looks enviously comfortable. 

Character??? There are many things I am certain of, some that I'm not. As for my persona, it is what it is. 

 

I'm not so lucky. I doubt almost everything. I doubt my own self the most. 

I often wonder how much of my empathy is real and how much is a sort of superstition, you know, if I choose not to be an ******* and in this case I've got an excuse to be one, maybe the Universe won't send me more *******s today. :D No, really. 

The language filter is crying.

Of course, there's inexhaustible amount of *******s in the Universe. I'm trying not to be one, especially not out of sheer amusement, but it's sometimes hard to resist. 

On average I'm easy to get along with. Some people just irk me. 

Anyway, I don't blame people who pray when they can't help in physical manner. (I already said I do that too.) 

Of course, prayer doesn't exclude palpable kindness. Quite the contrary. 

If prayer helps to motivate kindness no problem. 

I'd say it does count too. In my own experience, people can actually feel when you're intensively thinking about them - it can be through classic prayer or simply focusing on someone, on sending them proverbial good vibes. 

Yeah, and I know a way to focus the mind on a single intent for extended periods of time. If people could be influenced by focused intent I want proof of it. I actually mean that. 

The most important thing is that I've never heard anyone complain about ill effects of good vibes, so why not? 

Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Them feely good chemicals. Probably a placebo effect. 

Now, it sadness me that you seem to think prayer and kindness are excluding each other. Have I misunderstood you? 

You have. I answered earlier in this comment. I get the feeling people fall back on prayer when they don't actually want to do anything. 

Because if I understood that correctly, it must make you feel extremely uncomfortable when people are mentioning praying. 

Depends on what they're praying about. The reason behind it as well. Last I checked god wasn't a vending machine.

Of course, you won't believe me, but still I will offer myself as an example of a person who does pray but will gladly help in completely material manner, if possible. 

Nothing wrong with that.

 

Edited by XenoFish
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy
14 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

This reminds me of a story my friend told me.  Her grown son was still living at home and did not have a job.  She kept nagging him to get a job, but he would only half heartedly do it.  One day she set upon prayer to make him get a job.  She knew what she was doing, it was not prayer to any god, it was very strong thought over and over "Just get out of bed, just get out of bed and put your pants on, just get out of bed, put your pants on and go out, just get out of bed, put your pants on, go out and get a job..."

Suddenly she heard a thump in his room and he was on the floor with one leg in a pair of pants rolling around trying to figure out what was going on.

She felt very surprised and ashamed.  But it is a good example that we do know what people are thinking if they think hard enough and prayer has very little to do with any deity.  This is not something my friend made up, but instead of just nagging him after that she had a conversation explaining that she was worried that he would never be able to take care of herself and someday she would need someone to take care of her.  (he did get a job and eventually moved into his own place at age 32)

Also, I have another friend who considers certain types of prayer black magic "Please god make so and so do something specific".  I agree, if it had any power it would be black magic.  The thing is, my sister and brother used to pray for me that way and I could feel it and would be angry with them for no apparent reason.  Sometimes it would be the way the spoke to me and sometimes it wouldn't, but I knew what they were doing.  If anyone you are close to is doing that you know it but maybe you want to pretend like you don't because it is such a disrespectful thing.

I believe we're all quite telepathic, only it's considered impossible because science hasn't explained it yet ( :lol: ) so sometimes it's telepathy, not the higher power. It seems to me that more often than not, there's no need for higher power interventions, we can do surprisingly much just by our own powers. Who knows, of course. I certainly don't, but I also don't want to hide my thoughts on this. 

I was in quite serious medical condition once and people prayed for me. I would feel the change in the atmosphere around me at the precise time they prayed, before I knew they're doing it. They're not reading this, but still, I want to thank them again. By the way, their understanding of faith and religion was much different than mine, but the good intentions are apparently very universal. Or I'm a stubborn idiot and their interpretation of religion is the correct one, who knows. 

Ha, that black magic is a little harsh label, but I remember my grandmother always informing the kids that it's wrong to nag dear God with our petty desires. Not really sinful, but totally inappropriate. God knows what you need and want and are afraid of, you don't have to send him a wish list or specify what you rather wouldn't have. Of course, who wouldn't pray specifically for a survival of a friend? Some things are so important we simply can't resist reminding God about it. I think that, what we call God, understands that perfectly. 

All in all, prayer is an act of kindness, definitely, in my opinion. Maybe it doesn't do instant miracles - miracles wouldn't be called miracles if we could have them just like that - but it is felt. And if it's felt, it does something. And it's always... no, wait, it made you angry... so, mostly good. 

I almost feel like apologizing to you for your siblings praying made you angry, because I'd totally pray with them if I was around so yeah, guilty, me too :lol: 

You understand them today, don't you? 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy

Thank you @XenoFish and if you're interested in my opinion on God not being a vending machine, here it is up there in my reply to Desertrat.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.