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LightAngel

Kindness

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jypsijemini

When considering human psychology, we need to remember that there is no 'normal'.

We're all works in progress, unfinished canvases and each person will paint us differently in their own minds.

The way you picture yourself will always be different in someone else's mind. Your meanings and intentions will never be understood by anyone but yourself - and it's the same for everybody else. We gain new perspectives from our personal experiences all the time. For example, I never understood why victims of domestic violence stayed in their horrific, abusive situations until I had the experience of being in one. And the same for depression and anxiety. I'd identified depression within myself since my teenage years, but hadn't experienced anxiety until my mid-twenties.

We all have a limited perspective that is subjective to our personal experiences. There is no possible way to truly understand what another person is really experiencing. We can relate. We can sympathise and empathise. We can have compassion. But it is absolutely impossible to put yourself in another person's shoes and to really gain a complete insight into their experience.

Regardless of how similar or seemingly identical your situation may be to another's, you don't have the same mind. You didn't have the same upbringing. You didn't live in the same house. You didn't have the same parents. You didn't sit in the same chair. You didn't cop the same encouragements and criticisms. Each person's experience of life is completely and utterly unique to them.

So many things create who we are. Culture, society, family, friends, media, gender, age, biology, genetics as well as many other outward, uncontrollable influences. We become products of our experiences. There is some choice in the matter - how we choose to perceive the experiences and how that will shape us. And sometimes, the effects of our experiences are instantaneous and uncontrollable - and the choice comes later, as a matter of how we then cope with and handle what's become of us.

For example, I tried so hard to stay positive, loving, kind and empathic while I was being abused daily. I didn't want to 'lose' who I was to the things I was experiencing. I fought tirelessly to hold onto my 'best' qualities. It was all in vain. I chose to remain in a toxic situation thinking that by bringing love, loyalty, compassion, sensitivity and gentleness into the situation, I could somehow change things. It ate away at me. I developed severe depression and anxiety. I'd describe my emotions as incredibly bi-polar as I grieved the pain and suffered deeply, all while trying to hold onto positivity and optimism. My emotions were so extreme and overwhelming that my mind began to switch off and I'd go completely numb and start twitching.

I could have accepted this as a part of who I am, and I did for a long time. A part of me liked the identity of being vulnerable and broken. It made me stand out as the victim and my emotional scars were the proof that I was so good that I'd barely found the strength to fight back. I wasn't the one causing pain - I was the one receiving it. I never let people hear my story without adding that there were a couple times that I had fought back. It was just another way of proving to them that I was this incredible person - that I was aware of my own self worth and didn't deserve the pain.

Some of that was true, but I had the wrong attitude and perspective. I hung onto the victim complex. Whenever I was treated right, I would relay the old stories of how badly I'd been treated and cry over how much the goodness meant to me. I felt the need to portray how innocent, fragile and needy I was. I guess in some way, I thought that would make me more lovable to the right person - that they would want to put together my broken parts and that they'd never want to see me treated that way. That it would always be in the back of their mind how much I'd gone through and they'd never let that happen to me again, by their hands or anyone else's.

My kindness became manipulative. I treated everyone so well that they'd have no reason to hate or mistreat me. Who couldn't love someone so generous with their heart? In a way, I felt it was helping me to identify who was worthy of my time. But once again, I met people who were capable of acting the part for so long to gain my trust in order to use me, and the cycle continued. I was hurt over and over again.

Kindness has to be authentic whenever it is given. Not everybody is receptive to it. Some see it as an opportunity to get what they want - and in a way, I did. I don't think my kindness or love was inauthentic - but I had deeper motives. I didn't want to waste my energy on people who wouldn't reciprocate. I was only offering authentic kindness to those who offered it back.

And then I got a job in customer service. It's challenged me daily to practice authentic kindness. It's easy to fake it and then turn to a co-worker and run my mouth about how horrible that customer was. It's more challenging and fulfilling to treat them all with kindness even if it doesn't come back to me at all. At least, that's the way it seems initially - until another customer comes around after that who genuinely appreciates and respects you and offers words of encouragement and praise. The kindness ends up being rewarded and returned every time, even if it's not by the person it was offered to in the first place.

Not all people deserve kindness. Unfortunately in my job, I'd very quickly be shown the door if I treated every crappy customer the way they really deserved. There's a time and place to give people what they really deserve. There need to be consequences for shiiitty behaviour sometimes. You don't have to kill everybody with kindness.

Kindness is seen as a sign of weakness - that you're a pushover, that you're dependent on the opinions of others and that you value others more than yourself. It actually takes a stronger person to tackle difficult people and situations with kindness than it does to lose control and get angry. We interpret anger, outbursts and violence as a display of strength but it's really weakness when it's uncontrolled and emotionally-fuelled. Conscious, directed and controlled anger is absolutely healthy and necessary - but in context. It has power, just as kindness and gentleness have power. It's about knowing what approach suits the situation and the person at the time. It only makes things worse when the wrong approach is taken for the wrong situation.

In my case, I should have cracked my ex in the face and left the first time. Staying and trying to fix it all with kindness just made things worse. Kindness is not always the answer.

Same goes for people with mental illnesses and those who choose their own toxic situations. When it becomes clear that gentle loving kindness and understanding and supporting them isn't motivating them to make the situation any better, you've got to let go. You can't change anyone else - they have to choose that for themselves. You can't force another person to see what they're doing to themselves. I love to give advice and share the things I've experienced and learned out of my own experiences, but sometimes it takes a real rough trot in life to open somebody's eyes. I feel like I am that way - I don't listen to others - I have to experience it for myself to understand. Sometimes no matter what I say, it doesn't bring about the realisation and understanding I'd imagined.

Everybody needs to want to help and change themselves in order to heal, progress and succeed. Sometimes we're too stuck in feeling sorry for ourselves (which can develop mental illnesses) to even realise that we're in charge of the situation. Sometimes the circumstances aren't even of our own choosing (some mental illnesses, physical illnesses, death of a loved one etc) but we CAN decide what happens next.

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XenoFish

Thinking about this subject a bit more. I'm fine with being nice to people, not so much for kindness though. I don't trust people enough to be kind to them. Everyone's a vulture in my eyes. 

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LightAngel
1 hour ago, Wes83 said:

Kindness breeds vile behavior.

 

Nope.

True kindness doesn't breed vile behavior, but ignorance and stupidity do!

If it weren't for kindness, then you wouldn't be here right now because humanity would be extinct.

We can learn something from everything - that's how we find cures and survive.

True kindness is strength! 

Intelligence is always better than violent behavior.


 

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jypsijemini
1 hour ago, Wes83 said:

I challenge any notion that kindness is a selfless act, I see many buying their personal feel goods by contributing to those less fortunate. Perhaps that’s why I tried mercy on the thieves.

i think in any population size, whether we play with army’s and nations or cooks and waitresses, an act of kindness sends the wrong message. Showing strength is always better.

Even with the customer is always right mess, we have created the most arrogant, loud mouthed, entitled consumers in the world. Kindness breeds vile behavior.

Just because the act of displaying kindness makes you feel good, doesn't mean that it's selfish.

I took my niece out the other day because it's been a couple years since her dad committed suicide. She's twelve. Her mum is too concerned about her own happiness, and managing her older sister who's disappearing for days on end and so volatile that she's now living with a foster family. Her younger brother is so emotionally traumatised that he's constantly soiling himself.

We had to borrow money just to go to visit that side of the family and my own mother had sent me a little bit of money just to make sure that I got to enjoy my first holiday in two years. I decided to spend it on my niece, to take her out to the movies, to buy her lunch and to get some photos taken with her.

Sure, it made me feel great - but it was because I got to see her smile. Because she expressed how much it'd meant to her. Because she got to have a day in god-knows-how-long where someone was just spending time focused solely on her. Because I knew that in some way, I could offer a moment that would make her feel better about herself, to show her that someone cared, to hear whatever she wanted to say... It made me feel good because I know how much it's meant to me in the past to have people care about me in similar ways. The satisfaction didn't come from her appreciation or thanks - but from the understanding that this small thing we could offer her would have huge, lasting effects on her.

We remember other's kindness because it shows that they care. We may remember what they did, what they gave us or what they said - but the feeling is all the same. They thought of us, they cared about what we wanted or needed, and they did what they could to deliver that to us. We didn't have to earn it or work for it or even deserve it. They gave it selflessly without asking for anything in return - they just did it for us.

Of course seeing someone else smile and glow is going to make you happy. How couldn't it? That's not selfish. It's a natural and healthy product of doing something good and kind for somebody else. It's not meant to make us feel nothing, or to make us feel bad.

You appreciate more when someone who has nothing desires to share with you, than someone who has everything who gives as if it is nothing to them. The person who gets the most joy out of giving and sharing and being kind is the person who has nothing. The person with everything gives because it is disposable and it won't effect them. The beggar who gives you their last twenty dollars is kinder than the millionaire who gives you twenty thousand dollars. It's about the heart of kindness, not the act. The motive isn't always the same.

It sounds to me like your motive for giving the thieves in your restaurants a second chance was to gain their respect and favour: if they respected you more, they wouldn't steal from you again. It doesn't sound like you really wanted to know their situation and motives for stealing - you wanted to come across as someone they could respect and trust. There was a deeper motive for your kindness. It backfired because it wasn't genuine - and you didn't know enough about the individuals to know whether they were worthy of your kindness. Clearly, they were not, and neither were most of your staff.

Being tough and hard on people can produce the very same results. If your staff don't feel as though you care about them or respect them and you're just strict on them, they'll rebel like children. You'll find thieves no matter where you go, whether you're tough or kind. There needs to be a blend of the two. Too understanding, 'kind' and generous and people will walk all over you. Too strict, rough and hard and people will resent and rebel against your iron hand.

I dunno, maybe it's different for men and women but I remember and respect the teachers and employers I had who were caring, compassionate, kind and understanding far more than those who were strict, no-nonsense, strong and demanding. They had no impact on me whatsoever.

My last workplace (I transferred from because I moved too far away) had a new boss who wanted to change the entire store for the better. At first, for a team that had become accustomed to being slack and doing everything their own way, it was a huge shake up and most of us were really resentful. My partner encouraged me to adopt a new attitude, to look at it from his perspective and just to get on board and go with it. I quickly became one of the bosses' new favourites. I was quickly offered a full time position in a key role for the store. I was praised and encouraged constantly, and rewarded. He wasn't shy when it came to having to correct and critique my work - but did so in a way that was kind.

In childcare, we had four words on which to model ourselves: Bigger. Stronger. Wiser. Kind.

I think that suits every challenging situation. You can encompass them all no matter who or what you're dealing with.

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LightAngel
22 minutes ago, jypsijemini said:

 

There's a time and place to give people what they really deserve. There need to be consequences for shiiitty behaviour sometimes. 

 

 

Sometimes true kindness is to give people what they deserve - kindness has many faces. :lol:

 

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On a serious note - you have to be kind to yourself first of all. ;)

Kindness should never come at the expense of the truth!

 

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Wes83
16 minutes ago, jypsijemini said:

Just because the act of displaying kindness makes you feel good, doesn't mean that it's selfish.

I took my niece out the other day because it's been a couple years since her dad committed suicide. She's twelve. Her mum is too concerned about her own happiness, and managing her older sister who's disappearing for days on end and so volatile that she's now living with a foster family. Her younger brother is so emotionally traumatised that he's constantly soiling himself.

We had to borrow money just to go to visit that side of the family and my own mother had sent me a little bit of money just to make sure that I got to enjoy my first holiday in two years. I decided to spend it on my niece, to take her out to the movies, to buy her lunch and to get some photos taken with her.

Sure, it made me feel great - but it was because I got to see her smile. Because she expressed how much it'd meant to her. Because she got to have a day in god-knows-how-long where someone was just spending time focused solely on her. Because I knew that in some way, I could offer a moment that would make her feel better about herself, to show her that someone cared, to hear whatever she wanted to say... It made me feel good because I know how much it's meant to me in the past to have people care about me in similar ways. The satisfaction didn't come from her appreciation or thanks - but from the understanding that this small thing we could offer her would have huge, lasting effects on her.

We remember other's kindness because it shows that they care. We may remember what they did, what they gave us or what they said - but the feeling is all the same. They thought of us, they cared about what we wanted or needed, and they did what they could to deliver that to us. We didn't have to earn it or work for it or even deserve it. They gave it selflessly without asking for anything in return - they just did it for us.

Of course seeing someone else smile and glow is going to make you happy. How couldn't it? That's not selfish. It's a natural and healthy product of doing something good and kind for somebody else. It's not meant to make us feel nothing, or to make us feel bad.

You appreciate more when someone who has nothing desires to share with you, than someone who has everything who gives as if it is nothing to them. The person who gets the most joy out of giving and sharing and being kind is the person who has nothing. The person with everything gives because it is disposable and it won't effect them. The beggar who gives you their last twenty dollars is kinder than the millionaire who gives you twenty thousand dollars. It's about the heart of kindness, not the act. The motive isn't always the same.

It sounds to me like your motive for giving the thieves in your restaurants a second chance was to gain their respect and favour: if they respected you more, they wouldn't steal from you again. It doesn't sound like you really wanted to know their situation and motives for stealing - you wanted to come across as someone they could respect and trust. There was a deeper motive for your kindness. It backfired because it wasn't genuine - and you didn't know enough about the individuals to know whether they were worthy of your kindness. Clearly, they were not, and neither were most of your staff.

Being tough and hard on people can produce the very same results. If your staff don't feel as though you care about them or respect them and you're just strict on them, they'll rebel like children. You'll find thieves no matter where you go, whether you're tough or kind. There needs to be a blend of the two. Too understanding, 'kind' and generous and people will walk all over you. Too strict, rough and hard and people will resent and rebel against your iron hand.

I dunno, maybe it's different for men and women but I remember and respect the teachers and employers I had who were caring, compassionate, kind and understanding far more than those who were strict, no-nonsense, strong and demanding. They had no impact on me whatsoever.

My last workplace (I transferred from because I moved too far away) had a new boss who wanted to change the entire store for the better. At first, for a team that had become accustomed to being slack and doing everything their own way, it was a huge shake up and most of us were really resentful. My partner encouraged me to adopt a new attitude, to look at it from his perspective and just to get on board and go with it. I quickly became one of the bosses' new favourites. I was quickly offered a full time position in a key role for the store. I was praised and encouraged constantly, and rewarded. He wasn't shy when it came to having to correct and critique my work - but did so in a way that was kind.

In childcare, we had four words on which to model ourselves: Bigger. Stronger. Wiser. Kind.

I think that suits every challenging situation. You can encompass them all no matter who or what you're dealing with.

Thanks to you and light angel for reminding me of why I still choose to be kind through all the crazy. 
 

I did care about those people, I cared about their kids not having a parent that could provide an income. I cared about what it was going to look like to their children to be terminated as a thief.

i didn’t care what the employees thought of me in that moment. Perhaps they were undeserving of kindness.

perhaps in the long run they look back on that moment and think I was the coolest cat they ever had the pleasure to work for and regret what they forced me to do.

who knows who is deserving of kindness? I speculate children and those who already have a strength in moral character. Even children can be ruined with too much kindness.

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jypsijemini
8 minutes ago, Wes83 said:

Thanks to you and light angel for reminding me of why I still choose to be kind through all the crazy. 
 

I did care about those people, I cared about their kids not having a parent that could provide an income. I cared about what it was going to look like to their children to be terminated as a thief.

i didn’t care what the employees thought of me in that moment. Perhaps they were undeserving of kindness.

perhaps in the long run they look back on that moment and think I was the coolest cat they ever had the pleasure to work for and regret what they forced me to do.

who knows who is deserving of kindness? I speculate children and those who already have a strength in moral character. Even children can be ruined with too much kindness.

Then do forgive me for suggesting that your motives were anything other than genuine and caring. I'm sorry that they took advantage of your good nature.

It was interesting to note the definition of kind/kindness: friendly, generous and considerate.

I think it's safe to say that one can be kind without having to be generous - or at least, to withhold their generosity until the person has proven themselves as worthy and deserving of one's generosity - particularly when it comes to giving of one's time, money/possessions and energy.

I find the older I get, the happier I am to be friendly and considerate to even the most difficult people. I only really seem to resent their bad attitudes when I offer some sort of generosity and am still met with negativity and complaints. My best example is working in customer service - some people just don't want a bar of me. They just want what they want and they want to leave - they don't want to engage in the pleasantries and small-talk that I offer. They can't even shoot me a fake smile. And the ones that feel the need to complain and aren't satisfied with my understanding and compassion - that's fine too. It's when I try to be generous - to fix their problem, to help them find a solution or to rectify the situation and they're still belligerent and challenging - that's when it rubs me the wrong way. I feel like I've done all I can to serve them well and honestly - and they're not the least bit grateful for my efforts.

I'm learning to just leave it at the first two - be friendly, be considerate - but I use my intuition and observation of the situation to decide whether to go that next step into offering them more. With everybody - friends, customers, colleagues, family etc. I'll happily listen to someone complain - about me or about someone else. I'll be considerate in the way that I lend them a shoulder and I'll be considerate in the way that I withhold my own opinions and advice. Even if I don't agree with them, I'll be friendly - even if I'm only appearing to be friendly. Maybe this is something I need to work on because I know that sometimes my friendliness is dishonest and untrue to how I really feel. Sometimes it's a social-survival technique that I use in an attempt to keep everybody on-side and limit myself from accumulating too many enemies. I don't mean it to be manipulative or dishonest but I can see how it is sometimes. But my generosity is limited. I won't go out of my way to help the people I believe are undeserving, ungrateful or a waste of my time and energy. My limited kindness - friendliness and consideration - are useful and don't exert too much of my energy. Only the people I truly care about who I know are also kind get to see the full extent of my kindness - even if it's not coming back to me directly all the time.

So I guess I agree with you after all - kindness is, or can be, a selfish act. I don't think any of us can really offer the best versions of ourselves, our time, energy and effort into people who don't reciprocate whatsoever. Even parents have a limit on how much they will do for their children when all they do is take and demand and use. It's not healthy for the giver to endlessly give their kindness to a toxic taker, nor is it healthy for a taker to be given unconditional kindness despite their ungratefulness and lack of reciprocation. It's bad for both of them. The taker only learns that it's beneficial to abuse and use. The giver burns out and loses hope in the goodness of humanity, finding it hard to trust and gives so much they begin to suffer themselves.

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Desertrat56
4 hours ago, Wes83 said:

So.... not to “troll”, but I have very different views on kindness and I really see it as an unnecessary evil.

I manage various restaurants for a living and once I find a thief, there is no proper action other than termination. In my early days I tried pulling the thief aside, showing them the evidence, letting them know I had every right to terminate them, asking what was going on in their lives and offering them a second chance. Always, within weeks I had to terminate them for repeat behavior and what was worse-my team was informed of my action and I created more thieves. Now when I terminate a thief I do it knowing that maybe I’m helping that person grow and I know I’m keeping the rest of my teams honest.

Lets look at food stamps, what would happen to all the people on them if they were taking away? We have a society with so many who can not properly provide for themselves, and who is to blame? Was it kindness to start passing out food monies with taxpayer dollars or is it ultimately evil? I see them in the grocery stores occasionally trying to hide their form of payment from shame I suppose, and more often other consumers look on with a disapproving gaze.

I challenge any notion that kindness is a selfless act, I see many buying their personal feel goods by contributing to those less fortunate. Perhaps that’s why I tried mercy on the thieves.

i think in any population size, whether we play with army’s and nations or cooks and waitresses, an act of kindness sends the wrong message. Showing strength is always better.

Even with the customer is always right mess, we have created the most arrogant, loud mouthed, entitled consumers in the world. Kindness breeds vile behavior.

I get what you are saying but I think you are confused because we are taught in order to be kind you have to do things you don't want to do and you always have to help everyone, whether they need it or ask for it or not. 

Kindness is not meant for turning a blind eye to bad behavior, it is meant for situations where you have a choice to speak kindly, saying what you have to say, or going off on an emotional violent rant over something that is not life threatening.  Kindness is being aware that everyone has a bad day or a bad week, month, year, what ever and having some compassion and empathy.  It is making sure you are not narcissistically reacting to every person you encounter.

It is also learning when to say No and know that you have that right with no explanation.  That is kindness to yourself.   If you don't include yourself or you only include yourself in everything you can't be genuinely kind.  On the one hand everyone will walk al over you, on the other you will walk all over everyone.  There has to be balance. 

You were misguided to give people a second chance in a situation that did not require it.  Now you know better, but you can't translate that to people on food stamps (which by the way are being taken away as wee speak, most people need them to survive by no fault of their own, but rather because our society is based on greed and disrespect, if you want examples I can give them to you). 

So, it seems to me that you have become bitter because you don't understand what real kindness is.

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Wes83
7 hours ago, Desertrat56 said:

I get what you are saying but I think you are confused because we are taught in order to be kind you have to do things you don't want to do and you always have to help everyone, whether they need it or ask for it or not. 

Kindness is not meant for turning a blind eye to bad behavior, it is meant for situations where you have a choice to speak kindly, saying what you have to say, or going off on an emotional violent rant over something that is not life threatening.  Kindness is being aware that everyone has a bad day or a bad week, month, year, what ever and having some compassion and empathy.  It is making sure you are not narcissistically reacting to every person you encounter.

It is also learning when to say No and know that you have that right with no explanation.  That is kindness to yourself.   If you don't include yourself or you only include yourself in everything you can't be genuinely kind.  On the one hand everyone will walk al over you, on the other you will walk all over everyone.  There has to be balance. 

You were misguided to give people a second chance in a situation that did not require it.  Now you know better, but you can't translate that to people on food stamps (which by the way are being taken away as wee speak, most people need them to survive by no fault of their own, but rather because our society is based on greed and disrespect, if you want examples I can give them to you). 

So, it seems to me that you have become bitter because you don't understand what real kindness is.

I assure you I am not confused, thanks for your concern. Neither am i bitter.

thank you for your reply

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Habitat
11 hours ago, Wes83 said:

i think in any population size, whether we play with army’s and nations or cooks and waitresses, an act of kindness sends the wrong message. Showing strength is always better.

I think you are creating a false opposition here, kindness is more likely to come from strength, than weakness. It is weak people who default to doing nasty things. I think you are saying we can be too tolerant of the mischief of others, and that is an entirely different matter. To be kind, is to help, where help is needed, and we are in a position to help, without any great detriment to ourselves. Your example of sacking people for stealing as a servant, but not report it to police, is not a strength if it means just shifting the problem on to another unsuspecting employer.

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Wes83
56 minutes ago, Habitat said:

I think you are creating a false opposition here, kindness is more likely to come from strength, than weakness. It is weak people who default to doing nasty things. I think you are saying we can be too tolerant of the mischief of others, and that is an entirely different matter. To be kind, is to help, where help is needed, and we are in a position to help, without any great detriment to ourselves. Your example of sacking people for stealing as a servant, but not report it to police, is not a strength if it means just shifting the problem on to another unsuspecting employer.

Maybe so.

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openozy
19 hours ago, LightAngel said:

"Feigned kindness" - people who use insincere kindness to manipulate others.

That's a very nice term for what I call bull----.This is one of the most deceitful,evil actions of all imo.You feel like smashing their face in.Sorry that's sort of unkind also lol.

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Habitat
20 minutes ago, openozy said:

That's a very nice term for what I call bull----.This is one of the most deceitful,evil actions of all imo.You feel like smashing their face in.Sorry that's sort of unkind also lol.

Don't be such a yob. :) Diplomacy is largely a matter of soothing the egos of others, if they feel better for it, and we are better off for doing it, what's not to like ? And it can be very cheap to transact, it costs little to be polite.

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LightAngel
12 hours ago, Desertrat56 said:

 

It is also learning when to say No

 

 

True!

In cases when communication between people turns towards one of them having to say 'no' to something - so, a type of communication that will not end in people agreeing about something - then I think that it is even more important to be kind. 

In moments of disagreement between people - it is absolutely paramount to be kind in order to do one's best to ensure the most constructive and amicable resolution possible. 

However, being kind does not necessarily coincide with being 'liked'. It is much more important to - preserve one's own integrity and stay true to oneself while still being kind rather than - reducing oneself to sycophancy.

With this said - I think it's important to mention that kindness is neither mere flattery nor a means to an end - some diplomatic tool - it is an integral quality of a human being emanating from one's core.

 

 

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openozy
2 hours ago, Habitat said:

Don't be such a yob. :) Diplomacy is largely a matter of soothing the egos of others, if they feel better for it, and we are better off for doing it, what's not to like ? And it can be very cheap to transact, it costs little to be polite.

That's sounds like Sco mo,still bull----.I prefer to tell the truth or say nothing.Also sounds like Sco mo in its thriftiness :D

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Habitat
1 minute ago, openozy said:

That's sounds like Sco mo,still bull----.I prefer to tell the truth or say nothing.Also sounds like Sco mo in its thriftiness :D

He just seems to be digging a bigger hole for himself now, but he is just typical of the "reactive" type of politician, not the pro-active, and worse still, they are more concerned that their reaction to events is seen to be effective, whether it actually is, is a matter of lesser importance to them.

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openozy
2 minutes ago, Habitat said:

He just seems to be digging a bigger hole for himself now, but he is just typical of the "reactive" type of politician, not the pro-active, and worse still, they are more concerned that their reaction to events is seen to be effective, whether it actually is, is a matter of lesser importance to them.

I grew up with a politician father,believe me,they are all tarnished with the same brush in one way or another.

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Habitat

I have had peopling telling me for weeks that the army needed to be brought in, and old ScoMo acts when half the place has already burnt to a crisp. Not that they would have made a huge difference, but at least it would give people the sense that they were not forgotten.

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LightAngel
On 1/5/2020 at 6:15 AM, Habitat said:

I have had peopling telling me for weeks that the army needed to be brought in, and old ScoMo acts when half the place has already burnt to a crisp. Not that they would have made a huge difference, but at least it would give people the sense that they were not forgotten.

 

It's heartbreaking! 

I just read the news, and they say that the weather is cooling down a little right now.

 

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openozy
3 hours ago, LightAngel said:

 

It's heartbreaking! 

I just read the news, and they say that the weather is cooling down a little right now.

 

Hey La, can you send a little slice of fjords down our way ;)

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Alchopwn
On 1/5/2020 at 12:40 PM, openozy said:

That's a very nice term for what I call bull----.This is one of the most deceitful,evil actions of all imo.You feel like smashing their face in.Sorry that's sort of unkind also lol.

Awful about the fires openozy.  I hope you aren't in their path at all.  I've had a few Australian friends who have needed to evac.  One lives in Vic near Harrietville, the others are a family in the Blue Mts.  I think the biggest victims in all this have been the wildlife, and I donated a decent sum to a few sanctuaries that are taking in burn victims and nursing them back to health.  I think of Australia as my second home, as I spent years there when I was young, and it is heartbreaking to hear about it burning.  Terrible for the planet too.  Scummo thinks only god can change the climate, but really he worships coal and Mammon huh?

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openozy
3 hours ago, Alchopwn said:

Awful about the fires openozy.  I hope you aren't in their path at all.  I've had a few Australian friends who have needed to evac.  One lives in Vic near Harrietville, the others are a family in the Blue Mts.  I think the biggest victims in all this have been the wildlife, and I donated a decent sum to a few sanctuaries that are taking in burn victims and nursing them back to health.  I think of Australia as my second home, as I spent years there when I was young, and it is heartbreaking to hear about it burning.  Terrible for the planet too.  Scummo thinks only god can change the climate, but really he worships coal and Mammon huh?

Thanks Al,my mum lives in The Blue Mts and has had to get out twice so far.The "lucky" country has run out of luck,the native wildlife are desperate but even as I write from western NSW the neighbour is blasting away at starving roos,people have little compassion for animals around here.I feel it's a little too late to rewind the clock on climate change and I'm sick of listening to the pollies bickering about who has done more than who about this.

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LightAngel

 

 

:)

 

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joc
7 hours ago, LightAngel said:

 

 

:)

 

I love you

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Helen of Annoy
On 1/10/2020 at 6:21 AM, LightAngel said:

 

 

:)

 

It's very kind to gently remind people of the immense wonder of kindness.   

This is why I think that your act of kindness with posting that ultra-lovable video is not just theoretically kind, it also actually makes a difference. A little difference, a drop in the ocean, but the oceans are made of drops :)   

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