Seasonal depression

[XenoFish]

Go outside and get some sun light. Seems to help me. 

[simplybill]

Hi Mr.Regard- If you have the option, schedule a vacation week in the middle of winter and go someplace warm.

Here in the US, there’s usually a lull in the airline business between Thanksgiving and Christmas when the flights aren’t completely full. If you prefer driving, you can sign up for emails from discount car rental websites. Last winter I got a car for $8.88 a day for four days (about $36 total) and went to southern Utah. I got a really decent hotel room (with free breakfast) for about $95 a night, and I hiked in Zion National Park for three days. 

Just planning a vacation can lift your spirits, because it gives you something to look forward to besides the dark days of winter.

 

 

 

[Piney]

8 hours ago, Jujo-jo said:

That's awsome! Very cool! More pic plz ; )

'Piney's Woodwork' Facebook page.

I can't get on it anymore. 

[Piney]

1 hour ago, XenoFish said:

Go outside and get some sun light. Seems to help me. 

They just completed a study that said that works. 

[Crikey]

Call me weird but I LURV the cold dark winter months because I get a warm fuzzy feeling sitting at home watching TV or dabbling on my computer while the wind hurls fusillades of raindrops, snow and sleet at the windowpanes.

In fact in summer I draw my curtains to keep out the annoying sunshine, I told you I was weird..

Edited January 26, 2020 by Crikey

[Mr.Regard]

15 hours ago, Jujo-jo said:

Ohhh that's cool!!

[Jujo-jo]

1 hour ago, Mr.Regard said:

Ohhh that's cool!!

Thank you!

[Scholar4Truth]

I get it during the Winter time, I cope by reading and writing.

[Jujo-jo]

On 1/25/2020 at 10:38 PM, Mr.Regard said:

Just wanting to hit up other people and to see how you deal with seasonal depression or just get myself to chat with new people haha.

 

[Jujo-jo]

On 1/25/2020 at 10:38 PM, Mr.Regard said:

Just wanting to hit up other people and to see how you deal with seasonal depression or just get myself to chat with new people haha.

Watch "Jimmy Cliff - I Can See Clearly Now With Lyrics" on YouTube https://youtu.be/KSuB4t3q_dA

[lightly]

Back home in n. Michigan...we're used to depressing weather .. we just get sort of quieter and moody..(maybe a little grouchy)

.    . My wife gives me vitamin D ..says it's a sunshine supliment .    I always notice how the darker,colder, periods seem to go slowwwwer...and summer zips right by!!   Time flys when your having (more) fun !    We're in the Sundrenched desert for most of the winter now...a month has flown by already !   I highly recommend sunshine for cheering up 

[LightAngel]

On 1/26/2020 at 9:45 AM, Jujo-jo said:

 

I love this! 

 

[Crazy Horse]

Here's something that might help!

 

[Mr.Regard]

On 2/2/2020 at 11:15 PM, Crazy Horse said:

Here's something that might help!

 

Such a good song

[jypsijemini]

On 1/26/2020 at 2:08 PM, Mr.Regard said:

Just wanting to hit up other people and to see how you deal with seasonal depression or just get myself to chat with new people haha.

I feel as though I've been susceptible to bouts with depression since I was a kid. I don't know if it's just a victim mentality that takes me there whenever I let it overcome and get the better of me or whether I'm legitimately suffering a mental abnormality...

It got a lot worse and a lot harder to control when I was in a DV relationship. I was smoking MJ everyday just to numb the pain but it wasn't doing anything at all to help my state of mind. Made it worse, in my opinion.

I feel as though the more that I soul-search and seek to understand what I'm thinking, what my situation is, what my choices are and whether I'm making the best ones for me, depression has been pretty managable. It sneaks in every now and again - and I know it feels entirely different to just being tired or frustrated or stressed or sad. I know when it's back. It feels heavier, darker, deeper.

I'm struggling now trying to support my partner as he battles through his. He hasn't taken his meds all week. He knew he had to get another script and he's done nothing to make it happen. He sits on his Playstation all day because it distracts him from his restless, destructive thoughts - and that, I can understand! But it's stopping him completely from achieving anything at all. I'm carrying the both of us financially because he had a workplace injury and he's currently on workcover. He hasn't had a payment for more than half a year now. I pay for literally everything (other than the times that his mum has so generously helped us out). We've both quit smoking MJ and cigarettes, for out health and for our finances.

But every day I come home to a trashed house and have to make my own meals. He'll do one load of washing every two weeks. When we started dating a year ago, he was staying in my apartment with me and at least once a week, I'd come home to the place being spotless. He was pedantic about things being clean and hygienic whereas now it feels like he's comfortable with living in filth and it's worrying me.

I just don't know how to support him. I can't do everything. I don't want to end up feeling like I'm running around after him like a mother who spoils her child by doing everything for them. I want him to wake up and realise that he can't keep going on like this and he can't be so selfish just to sit on his ass and do whatever he likes. I'm getting out and going to work in a place that I hate, doing hours that are absolutely killing me and yet I'm sacrificing my sanity and comfort just to make sure we have more than just a roof over our heads and food in the cupboards. His phone plan got cut off so I set up unlimited internet so that he isn't stuck at home being bored. We go to see his brother for a pub meal almost every week and I fork out so that he can have a couple beers and a shot at the raffle or lottery.

I'm trying so hard to make sure that his life is comfortable, enjoyable, easy - so that he can heal and rejuvenate but it just feels like everything is getting worse. He's doing less and less, barely motivated to even feed himself. I don't think things have got any worse - it's all the same. He can't find work because he has carpal tunnel in both hands. He's on work cover until the compensation claim is settled in court. His ex hasn't let him see his son for the past six years. All these things have been the exact same ever since we got together and I feel as though things have only been getting better for him and for us, not worse!

I mean, I was struggling hard there with my own mental health issues for a while there but I was seeing doctors and therapists and doing everything I could to make myself better so that I wasn't an additional burden on him - let alone I just wanted to come back out of my rut for my own sake. So in that sense too, things have just been getting better. I feel as though I understand and empathise more than enough with his depression, that I'm supportive and accomodating and comforting...

I just don't know how to help anymore. When I was in my darkest times, I had someone abusing me daily on top of the depression and anxiety I was trying to overcome. I know what it's like to not only be alone through it, but to be attacked while it's at its worst. I know what I wanted and needed while I was going through that and I'm trying to give all that to him but I don't understand why it's not inspiring him to want to get better.

I'm so lost. I love him so much and I don't know how to help him.

[XenoFish]

7 minutes ago, jypsijemini said:

I'm so lost. I love him so much and I don't know how to help him.

You're apparently in a bad relationship. I suggest moving on. You can't fix what's broken, the broken have to fix themselves. 

[+joc]

4 hours ago, jypsijemini said:

I can't do everything.

You CAN do everything.  You might put the thought out to him that, as much as i love you...if I'm going to do everything by myself...I think I'd rather just be by myself!

4 hours ago, jypsijemini said:

I'm trying so hard to make sure that his life is comfortable, enjoyable, easy - so that he can heal and rejuvenate but it just feels like everything is getting worse.

At this point you are being an enabler.  He needs to get up off his duff and start living...he has no reason...you do everything for him.

4 hours ago, jypsijemini said:

I know what I wanted and needed while I was going through that and I'm trying to give all that to him but I don't understand why it's not inspiring him to want to get better.

I'm so lost. I love him so much and I don't know how to help him.

He isn't you. Different people, different situation, If you want to help him...you have to step back and make him help himself.  If he falls, he's always got Mommy.  You are not his mother...you are not even his wife.  YOU come first in EVERY relationship.

[Jujo-jo]

4 hours ago, jypsijemini said:

I feel as though I've been susceptible to bouts with depression since I was a kid. I don't know if it's just a victim mentality that takes me there whenever I let it overcome and get the better of me or whether I'm legitimately suffering a mental abnormality...

It got a lot worse and a lot harder to control when I was in a DV relationship. I was smoking MJ everyday just to numb the pain but it wasn't doing anything at all to help my state of mind. Made it worse, in my opinion.

I feel as though the more that I soul-search and seek to understand what I'm thinking, what my situation is, what my choices are and whether I'm making the best ones for me, depression has been pretty managable. It sneaks in every now and again - and I know it feels entirely different to just being tired or frustrated or stressed or sad. I know when it's back. It feels heavier, darker, deeper.

I'm struggling now trying to support my partner as he battles through his. He hasn't taken his meds all week. He knew he had to get another script and he's done nothing to make it happen. He sits on his Playstation all day because it distracts him from his restless, destructive thoughts - and that, I can understand! But it's stopping him completely from achieving anything at all. I'm carrying the both of us financially because he had a workplace injury and he's currently on workcover. He hasn't had a payment for more than half a year now. I pay for literally everything (other than the times that his mum has so generously helped us out). We've both quit smoking MJ and cigarettes, for out health and for our finances.

But every day I come home to a trashed house and have to make my own meals. He'll do one load of washing every two weeks. When we started dating a year ago, he was staying in my apartment with me and at least once a week, I'd come home to the place being spotless. He was pedantic about things being clean and hygienic whereas now it feels like he's comfortable with living in filth and it's worrying me.

I just don't know how to support him. I can't do everything. I don't want to end up feeling like I'm running around after him like a mother who spoils her child by doing everything for them. I want him to wake up and realise that he can't keep going on like this and he can't be so selfish just to sit on his ass and do whatever he likes. I'm getting out and going to work in a place that I hate, doing hours that are absolutely killing me and yet I'm sacrificing my sanity and comfort just to make sure we have more than just a roof over our heads and food in the cupboards. His phone plan got cut off so I set up unlimited internet so that he isn't stuck at home being bored. We go to see his brother for a pub meal almost every week and I fork out so that he can have a couple beers and a shot at the raffle or lottery.

I'm trying so hard to make sure that his life is comfortable, enjoyable, easy - so that he can heal and rejuvenate but it just feels like everything is getting worse. He's doing less and less, barely motivated to even feed himself. I don't think things have got any worse - it's all the same. He can't find work because he has carpal tunnel in both hands. He's on work cover until the compensation claim is settled in court. His ex hasn't let him see his son for the past six years. All these things have been the exact same ever since we got together and I feel as though things have only been getting better for him and for us, not worse!

I mean, I was struggling hard there with my own mental health issues for a while there but I was seeing doctors and therapists and doing everything I could to make myself better so that I wasn't an additional burden on him - let alone I just wanted to come back out of my rut for my own sake. So in that sense too, things have just been getting better. I feel as though I understand and empathise more than enough with his depression, that I'm supportive and accomodating and comforting...

I just don't know how to help anymore. When I was in my darkest times, I had someone abusing me daily on top of the depression and anxiety I was trying to overcome. I know what it's like to not only be alone through it, but to be attacked while it's at its worst. I know what I wanted and needed while I was going through that and I'm trying to give all that to him but I don't understand why it's not inspiring him to want to get better.

I'm so lost. I love him so much and I don't know how to help him.

The same old routine will break at some point by natural forces, it may be taking longer than you'd like but it will.

Sounds like you both got hung up in the under currents of life's frowns.

It also sounds like you can recognize when you need to see consul, which is awsome somepeople can't, refuse to or are too proud to. 

It may seem like things are getting worse and like he may be drowning and at this point you feel hopeless to help him but know it's not all on you, you can not help someone who won't help themselve all you can do is set back and watch rh ed train wreck and all you can do is try to not absorb the negitivity just brace yourself and protect yourself from sinking into that with him, just be patient and be ready to be there for him to help dust him off when he's ready to ready pick himself up. 

I know you're trying to be supportive at the same time you can't be a doormat or let others take advantage of you, and he may not be it sounds like a medical condition is behind most of the problems, which can be tough enough! Some people just look for free rides and that wouldn be cool if that is the situation and like I said he may not be only you know the whole situation.

It sounds like youre supportive, kind, caring and loving and it sounds like he is lucky to have you, just hope he doesn't lose site of all that while his head is stuck in the gaming world.

Sooner or later tho, the thickness of the cold ice should melt and eventually it will break but remember, occasionally an auger maybe be required to break through that ice ; )

[Jujo-jo]

Ok yep... Gotta do it... Maybe some won't appreciate this like I do but when I'm down i watch this video.

The words don't only apply to break ups, I apply it to all $#itty aspects in my life and how we deal with things in life are OURS, they don't belong to anyone else.

Enjoy!

Watch "Miranda Lambert - Mama's Broken Heart" on YouTube

 

[Jujo-jo]

Now when I am pi$$ed at the whole world and can't seem to climb up out of the dark hole I've suddenly found myself in, this one helps... You can't ant be pi$$ed off and mad with a smile on your face and this one is sure to do that... well it works for me anyway ; )

 

Watch "Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass (Official Music Video)" on YouTube

 

[Jujo-jo]

Watch "Anna Kendrick - Cups (Pitch Perfect’s “When I’m Gone”) [Official Video]" on YouTube

 

[jypsijemini]

@joc and @Jujo-jo

You've filled my heart with strength and hope.

I can't thank you enough!

Thank you for helping me to find a healthy perspective, to remember my worth and also see a way to establish my role as a support person but to step back and stop enabling.

Thank you for your wisdom!

<3 xx

[Jujo-jo]

4 hours ago, jypsijemini said:

@joc and @Jujo-jo

You've filled my heart with strength and hope.

I can't thank you enough!

Thank you for helping me to find a healthy perspective, to remember my worth and also see a way to establish my role as a support person but to step back and stop enabling.

Thank you for your wisdom!

<3 xx

Youre Welcome!

Sometimes the hardest of things is setting back and doing nothing.

Someone ones told me that we can't take away other people's lessons and trials because we all have journeys we need to wade through. 

And another good quote I heard ones was try not to consume other people's problems. This ones real hard when it comes to your significant other and things are - lol - "supposed" to be 50/50, rarely is it ever so out the window with the 50/50 way of hopeful thinking, otherwise we're only setting ourselves up ; )

[Mr.Regard]

On 2/10/2020 at 1:17 PM, jypsijemini said:

- let alone I just wanted to come back out of my rut for my own sake.

I'm really glad you shared all of that, but this quote I found to be important specifically, I don't believe someone else can make you not depressed honestly, your sig other sounds to be in a particularly deep rut, my best advice to you is to be 100 percent honest with him about your feelings to the situation, tell him the burden you feel, and hope he finds his way out and if not re evaluate and chart a course from there, in my experience honesty in entirety has helped most every situation, whether by giving myself clarity of mind or just getting that weight off my chest.

But just sitting around and not doing anything to better yourself does no good, and you can't continue to enable such behavior, it's not healthy for anyone and it is not your duty to make him happy, even when I am not working I hustle, I will make shirts and get them sold, because it doesn't really matter if I am depressed life goes on and I'm not dead yet.

Honesty in entirety does not clear the way, there is still work, it just clears up the mind and makes me feel like I have room to breath again.

You sound like an amazing and devoted person, I hope you find that reciprocation that you deserve.