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XenoFish

Goals, why can't I or can I achieve them.

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XenoFish

This was brought up in another thread and I thought it would be better as it's own topic. The idea of goal achievement seems to be a heavy focus among many people. So in starting this thread lets discuss it. I know that simple goals are the easiest, those small nearly unimportant little things we can do. I also know that some big goals can be achieved. Yet when you don't succeed, when you fail. At what point is giving up a good idea? Where is that limit of success within whatever you've chosen to go? How many times is it worth trying? 

I personally find that setting a task is much easier than a goal. Though completing the task is a goal. lol

I'm really wanting us to come up with ideas about how we succeed in whatever we set ourselves to do. 

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spartan max2
15 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

I personally find that setting a task is much easier than a goal. Though completing the task is a goal. lol

This part I think it probably the key for any goal.

I look at it sort of philosophically, but everything in our universe is made of ton and tons of smaller things.

The human body: tons and tons of small cells, bacteria, etc.

A planet: tons and tons of small things.

Even more abstract stuff like a beautiful painting or statues is made up of tons and tons of brush strokes, chips, and lines. 

Elections and social movements: made of up millions of people doing small task like voting.

So I would argue that a goal is really just the completion of a ton of small task. 

So the key is to figure out the small task and do them until it gets to the goal completion.

 

Knowing when to give up on a goal is definitely harder to know. There are plenty of anecdotal of people never giving up on a goal and it's working out but there are also plenty of stories of people failing and instead of moving on it just becomes sad.

 

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spartan max2

@XenoFish is there a goal you've been trying to do lately?

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XenoFish
10 minutes ago, spartan max2 said:

@XenoFish is there a goal you've been trying to do lately?

No. The subject came up in another thread. I figured I'd create a topic about it. 

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'Walt' E. Kurtz

Yeah what kind of goals are you trying to succseed?.

failure is succsess in progress :-P

Me im trying to lose weight and get into shape...... 

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papageorge1

I made my only goals to be being happy and loving. The details are just derivatives of those goals.

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XenoFish
19 minutes ago, 'Walt' E. Kurtz said:

Yeah what kind of goals are you trying to succseed?.

failure is succsess in progress :-P

Me im trying to lose weight and get into shape...... 

Round is a shape. And I'm not working at a goal, well I am but it's something that I can handle. The point of this topic was do discuss goals in general, perhaps strategies. 

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onlookerofmayhem

Perhaps a bit too trite and cliche, but I have always agreed with, "A journey of a thousand miles always starts with a single step."

It's probably my biggest flaw in being as productive as I know I could be. 

Once I start something I want to finish it and get it over with. But I get bored very easily. 

Which usually leaves me pretty unfulfilled if you consider the other adage, "It's not the destination, it's the journey."

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XenoFish
4 minutes ago, onlookerofmayhem said:

Perhaps a bit too trite and cliche, but I have always agreed with, "A journey of a thousand miles always starts with a single step."

It's probably my biggest flaw in being as productive as I know I could be. 

Once I start something I want to finish it and get it over with. But I get bored very easily. 

Which usually leaves me pretty unfulfilled if you consider the other adage, "It's not the destination, it's the journey."

I think a lot of the time it comes down to what we choose to do, how we go about it, and our expectations. I seems to achieve when I don't care if I succeed or fail.

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spartan max2
1 hour ago, onlookerofmayhem said:

Perhaps a bit too trite and cliche, but I have always agreed with, "A journey of a thousand miles always starts with a single step."

It's probably my biggest flaw in being as productive as I know I could be. 

Once I start something I want to finish it and get it over with. But I get bored very easily. 

Which usually leaves me pretty unfulfilled if you consider the other adage, "It's not the destination, it's the journey."

This is definitely me lol.

I will get hyper into something for a month or two, like painting, woodcutting, etc  and then fizzel out. 

Which leaves me in a weird spot of knowing alot about alot of things but not being especially good at any of it lol.

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lightly

I like to set goals that I feel I can and will achieve.   (you know, good lord willin and the creek don't rise).  .    

When I set what I consider to be an ahievable goal...I seem to achieve it.....and avoid disappointment.

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Guyver
3 hours ago, XenoFish said:

This was brought up in another thread and I thought it would be better as it's own topic. The idea of goal achievement seems to be a heavy focus among many people. So in starting this thread lets discuss it. I know that simple goals are the easiest, those small nearly unimportant little things we can do. I also know that some big goals can be achieved. Yet when you don't succeed, when you fail. At what point is giving up a good idea? Where is that limit of success within whatever you've chosen to go? How many times is it worth trying? 

I personally find that setting a task is much easier than a goal. Though completing the task is a goal. lol

I'm really wanting us to come up with ideas about how we succeed in whatever we set ourselves to do. 

In general, I would offer that goals are attained through diligent effort.  The more difficult the goal, the more effort it takes to reach them.  Goals should be realistic and attainable for the most success....IMO.  
 

From the time I was a young man I bought into the idea of management by objectives, or goal attainment.  I grew up poor from a broken home and had nothing,  I was the first person in my family to graduate from college.  I have had success in business and career...and I guess in life in general....but it was no easy task.  Once I made up my mind what the goal was to be, and I was certain it’s what I wanted.....I just refused to accept failure as an option.  I went for my goals one step at a time, knowing that’s how it is done.  So, it worked for me and I’m a fan of the practice.  I would also add, that the older one gets, the more difficult it is to attain goals, or make changes in life....FWIW.

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seanjo

My goal is to have no goals but I keep failing...

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XenoFish
6 minutes ago, seanjo said:

My goal is to have no goals but I keep failing...

You need to not try harder.

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Tatetopa

Good thread.  I have struggled with goals and found a couple of things that have helped me succeed at some and realized  some things that caused me to fail at others.

You are so right that major goals are made up of smaller steps.  None of the smaller steps are trivial, they need to be done well in order to achieve the goal.

Dogged determination and force of will may get me through some, but for goals that require me to improve a skill, I have to focus on the steps and not the journey.  For skill related goals, I think you may have to love the journey as much as the destination, my experience anyway.

I had an aikido instructor that told his class that something worth doing well is worth doing poorly a hundred times. I had to love the practice and be willing to fail, move poorly  and be aware of what I was doing.  Practice does not make perfect.  Perfect practice  solidifies perfect.  I had to throw away fear of failure and concern about what the rest of the class saw when I failed and focus on what I was doing.  The same has been true for me in woodworking.  If I had not practiced a lot and failed a lot and analyzed my failures and all of the components; my stance, where my arm was, how I moved a saw or controlled a chisel, I would not have gotten better. High standards might be another key to improvement.  That Platonic dovetail joint is out there and every one I have cut falls short of that.   I don't beat myself up for failing, just analyze and try again.  The next one is not perfect, but better,  During the journey, progress toward a goal is a satisfying feeling even before you reach it.

 

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Guyver

For the person who believes that life pretty much sucks and there’s really no point to it, I would offer that goal setting, management by objectives, however you wish to say it can be a positive thing.  It is rewarding to accomplish something important to oneself, it gives life some meaning on some level....and keeps one busy and the mind occupied.  So, I guess I do think it is a positive way to be.  At the same time, a person has to persevere because the road to attaining a certain goal can be filled with failed attempts.  

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Guyver
Posted (edited)

I guess it would be fitting to discuss golf on this PGA Championship weekend.  I started playing golf about four years ago as I was getting too old to do other sports that I have done for so long.  Body just couldn’t hold up well to the abuse lol. Anyway, in golf I found  a very challenging and enjoyable thing to do.  At first I sucked.  I was so bad I couldn’t even keep score....I just played for fun.  After a time, with much practice, study, and effort....I got to the place where I could keep score and play with my dad, and others.  But I would lose.....every time.  My dad literally had to give me a stroke a hole just to make it fair.  I didn’t get discouraged because I love the thrill of making a great shot.  Anyway, I made a goal for myself to break 80 in golf.  It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done and it took me three years to do.  No one probably gives a riip about that, but it means a lot to me and I’m proud of myself in a good way for having finally achieved that goal.  Now, my goal is to do it again someday lol.  Almost got there two weeks ago, shot 80.  Just one less miss or one more shot made and I would have repeated. Anyway, now I play all the time, I can compete with other guys who have been playing a lot longer than me, I have fun doing it, walk the course so I get exercise at the same time and it’s all good dot com. FWIW.

Edited by Guyver
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Desertrat56
Posted (edited)

My mother had a term "DaVinci Syndrome" to describe how she managed her goals.  She had projects she would start and then get interrupted and 2 years later she would find that project unfinished, she didn't have any apprentices to complete the projects.  One of the things she did when she was diagnosed with Cancer is set out to complete the quilts she had started and make one for every one of her children and grandchildren.  I remember my sister fixed a better quilt frame and the three of us would sit around it quilting the tops batting and inside together.  She had all of the tops finished and my sister and I helped her do the quilting.

As for me I have a similar syndrome, I have big ideas and know that I will not get any project I start finished unless I can break it down in to steps.  Today I get one step done, then next week another, then next month I get back to it etc.  Then when I get discouraged because it takes so long for some projects to be completed,  and I have so many projects I need to complete, I make a list of all the things I have finished.  Then I see I am not stagnant, just slow.  It helps me get up and get on with the next thing.

Edited by Desertrat56
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Crazy Horse
On 8/8/2020 at 2:45 PM, XenoFish said:

This was brought up in another thread and I thought it would be better as it's own topic. The idea of goal achievement seems to be a heavy focus among many people. So in starting this thread lets discuss it. I know that simple goals are the easiest, those small nearly unimportant little things we can do. I also know that some big goals can be achieved. Yet when you don't succeed, when you fail. At what point is giving up a good idea? Where is that limit of success within whatever you've chosen to go? How many times is it worth trying? 

I personally find that setting a task is much easier than a goal. Though completing the task is a goal. lol

I'm really wanting us to come up with ideas about how we succeed in whatever we set ourselves to do. 

I am getting to the point where goals are becoming less important, and a sense of the present moment, through mindfulness and meditation, are becoming more important to me, which I guess is a kind of goal in itself!!

If there is something I desire, then a short prayer followed by a feeling that it has already been accomplished will suffice.The actual details, ways and means of attainment I leave to the Cosmos.

TBH for many years my only real goal was to better my-self in every way possible, so I might be in a better position to help others, and better serve creation. That is the only thing that I have ever stuck with, everything else soon looses its appeal.

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qunaquna

I don't think people that achieve certain goals were so much conscious about those goals than we who fail ours or glorify theirs are. They just do what's natural to them and one say arrive at certain point we call goal. 

I'm kinda good at photography and have people ask me how did I achieve that - I don't have a clue, baby steps over more than a decade I guess, I never had a goal to arrive here, if here is anywhere anyway, It just happened cause I was interested in certain things. 

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Cookie Monster
On 8/8/2020 at 2:45 PM, XenoFish said:

This was brought up in another thread and I thought it would be better as it's own topic. The idea of goal achievement seems to be a heavy focus among many people. So in starting this thread lets discuss it. I know that simple goals are the easiest, those small nearly unimportant little things we can do. I also know that some big goals can be achieved. Yet when you don't succeed, when you fail. At what point is giving up a good idea? Where is that limit of success within whatever you've chosen to go? How many times is it worth trying? 

I personally find that setting a task is much easier than a goal. Though completing the task is a goal. lol

I'm really wanting us to come up with ideas about how we succeed in whatever we set ourselves to do. 

Stop wanting stuff.

Serious, you find you dont get what you want. And when you stop wanting it then you get it.

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XenoFish
13 minutes ago, Cookie Monster said:

Stop wanting stuff.

Serious, you find you dont get what you want. And when you stop wanting it then you get it.

This isn't about me. It's about something that came up in another thread. Try reading it. 

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razman

I have been working on some things(goals) for many years : like music. And though i have made many strides , i cant say that it is where i would want it to be in the context i see it. Though i enjoy it(working on it).

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Mr Walker
Posted (edited)
On 8/8/2020 at 11:15 PM, XenoFish said:

This was brought up in another thread and I thought it would be better as it's own topic. The idea of goal achievement seems to be a heavy focus among many people. So in starting this thread lets discuss it. I know that simple goals are the easiest, those small nearly unimportant little things we can do. I also know that some big goals can be achieved. Yet when you don't succeed, when you fail. At what point is giving up a good idea? Where is that limit of success within whatever you've chosen to go? How many times is it worth trying? 

I personally find that setting a task is much easier than a goal. Though completing the task is a goal. lol

I'm really wanting us to come up with ideas about how we succeed in whatever we set ourselves to do. 

Not sure what you are asking here.

To me it is simple

if something is possible a human can achieve it through motivation, planning, time, and discipline/effort 

if its worth it you will put those things in and inevitably succeed if its not worth it you wont, and may fail, or still succeed partially.

In any endeavour good planing and strategy is the first priority  Building the required skills comes next, and only then attempting the goal or task.

Initial failure may require modifications /adjustments to your plan,  and further skill development, but you will get there eventually.  ive never failed at anything in my life, although some times ive only been partially successful, which is rewarding in itself But i am careful with the goals/ tasks  i set, and I prioritise them.

No point in wasting time on anything not really important  Part of the reason for my success is that i never give up.

Once a significant time is invested, it is wasteful to stop, when a bit more time and energy will bring success, or at least significant progress    Oh yep. I did fail at playing the piano and guitar and learning a second language  but those  were other people's expectations of me, and i wasn't motivated to put in an effort. 

Edited by Mr Walker
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