ANSWER, RAMBLE then ASK any new question

[Helen of Annoy]

29 minutes ago, ant0n said:

 

What does the word "weird" mean to you?

 

Usually I meant to say something's "unusual" when I say it's "weird". Like when I'm crossing a bridge, feeling like gravity is puling harder, in some unusual, weird that is, way. I don't usually feel I've been pulled downwards.   

But sometimes it means "unexplained" while it's quite usual - for example, a premonition that comes true.

It depends on the context. 

And I'd say I'm weird myself, meaning that I can see I don't follow the expected patterns. That's weird because it's much more practical to just do what other monkeys do, no questions asked. Here the word "weird" means "impractical", I guess. Maybe even arrogant, because apparently I think I know better than those around me. But if I don't want to follow fashion because fashionable shoes are useless for walking more than few steps, it clearly isn't arrogance but common sense. Still, I'm the weird one in hiking boots, while the normal women tip-toe around like they must look sexually attractive at all times. Carrying groceries home, in stilettos. I mean, every woman should have stilettos too, and the chance to say yes, they were appropriate for the occasion. But they're not appropriate for an average working day, no matter what the profession. All right, except when the profession is attracting men, but I'm pretty certain sex workers rather wouldn't wear their working clothes all the damn time.   

 

Have you noticed it's much easier to say something than to explain what you really meant with it?    

[ant0n]

2 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Have you noticed it's much easier to say something than to explain what you really meant with it?    

Well, my question about the meaning of "weird" was a trick question

I avoid using the words "weird", "odd", "strange", "bizarre" and their relatives, because they actually are so vague, incomplete and deceptive. For example, someone can tell this: "That person is so weird." That affirmation does not make sense at all to me. The word "weird" carries no definite properties. "Weird" looks like a meaningful and complete word while it actually is the opposite. So each time I hear/read someone telling a thing or being is "weird", I ask them to rephrase and to be accurate instead.

However I do get the "intuitive" idea behind the word "weird" when well placed in its context but I'm rigorous like that at times, like a scientist would be (I learned chemistry in university). I especially appreciate coherent and accurate speeches, even though I don't always provide coherent and accurate speeches myself but I tend to that.

Again, I don't want "perfection" but I tend to, without actually wanting to "reach it" "at any cost".

 

To answer your question, it looks like a subtle change of subject, even a smoke screen, right? ^^ Some people can perceive that trick, you know that

I like coherence, accuracy in speeches and I do try to make myself understood at best by trying to walk in the readers' shoes - or in some readers' shoes because sometimes, I want to reach a specific audience, a specific wavelength, so I encrypt my speeches accordingly

So, to make myself understood, I tend to express definitions of words in addition to the words themselves, just to ensure the readers can understand what I mean.

 

I've realized earlier this evening I need to arbitrarily assess (thanks to a virtual scale from 0 to 10) the dissonance I feel in me while reading/listening to others' messages. Then I told myself: "No, no: I must assess the coherence instead." Then I replied to myself: "No: let's face it. I'm going to assess the dissonance I feel while reading/listening to stuff (others' and... mine, by the way). If I watch a Youtube video and come up with an 0.5/10, well, it's really good. 0/10 is just outstandingly great. Other than that, 0/10 may be suspicious, me not being quite objective then. We're just Earthlings."

It's just a personal and arbitrary scale, which is worth only for me, which has nothing really permanent per se, since I am the source that generates that feeling of dissonance. Like pain - I bet you remember.

 

What's the last piece of music you listened to?

[Helen of Annoy]

Listened focused completely to the music only? I don't remember. Maybe I even lost the ability to experience music itself, without the associations I immediately attach to sounds. 

I just deleted the short novel I wrote. It was boring. If you sound boring to your own self, what would others think? 

That's mostly why I change subjects. I just notice I must be boring (or shocking and I manage to be both sometimes at the same time) so I take the more acceptable route. 

Back to music, in hopefully less boring try, finding pieces I resonate with is important for me. They carry me when I think it's too steep uphill for me. They help me unclog my emotions. They also do half of physical work for me. And if I do something creative, music helps it. But if I'm at work, I need my rational mind only, without distractions, so no music is allowed anywhere near me. Some low-key music would be acceptable, even nice, but it kept turning into village disco so it's damn silence now. 

Oh, look, I'm boring again   Ah, what can we do... hopefully, it won't last forever. Nothing does. 

 

Is there something that lasts forever? (From human point of view.)

[Ozymandias]

Unfortunately and certainly, nothing physical lasts forever. That is why we rejoice in the renewal of the seasons and all that is associated with that cycle of regeneration. Unfortunately, too, our emotions are finite and die with us. The only possibility for permanence lies in our ability to create thoughts and ideas that humanity will value and cherish down through the generations. In the grand scheme of things, however, everything is really ephemeral.

I am 67 in a few weeks and I just retired last week from my job of over 40 years as a lecturer in engineering. I have great plans for my retirement but Covid-19 is very constraining at the moment and I do need to look out for myself, so that has put a stop to my gallop for the foreseeable future. Hopefully we will all get a vaccine and/or medications that work reliably well against the effects of coronavirus. I have a gorgeous one-and-a-half year old granddaughter that I hope I will be able to continue to see as often as I like but during the last lockdown here in Ireland I did not meet her physically for over three months. It was very hard and I am not looking forward to another lockdown for that reason. I can cocoon indefinitely no problem because I have academic pursuits that lend themselves to isolation at my desk at home. I am currently writing a book which, while I was working, has been taking most of my spare time, and now that I am retired, I can afford to give it even more of my time. Anyway, enough about me!

 Which is more important: time spent alone or time spent with others?

[Helen of Annoy]

It's not easy to answer that question. 

It could be that time spent with others is more important, precisely because it makes both you and them not alone. But if you can't have time to spend alone and talk to yourself without any distractions, how could you know what you're really thinking and feeling? 

So for me personally, not only both are important but the balance between them is important too. If I'm alone for too long time I start taking my inner world more seriously than the reality, which is definitely not practical, while if I'm among people for too long time, there's a realistic chance I might strangle the most talkative one. Kidding. I'd never really do that, I just imagine it and it probably can be read from my face. By anyone who pays any attention to the people they're talking to, that is, so my theoretically murderous secret is safe.

Funny fact is that I spent half of my life thinking my face is not particularly expressive. If I keep my mouth shut, no one will notice what I feel or think. I can be stupid like that. So while I usually get larger part of the message out of the overall impression than from the actual words someone said, I thought I don't have that luxury and have to clearly define everything. 

I still have that habit of trying to give a whole verbal manual instead of a simple, possibly misunderstood answer, but I'm getting used to the benefits of one raised eyebrow too. 

 

How often do you use your eyebrows? 

[ant0n]

3 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

How often do you use your eyebrows? 

I enjoy that question for several reasons, superficial or deep.

Spontaneously, I'd reply I don't use my eyebrows.

Then I go and watch my face in the mirror and... oh my goad, I do regularly use my eyebrows indeed, especially when I'm surprised at what I perceive (someone speaking, typically) and when I doubt it (when I doubt what they're saying, typically). I raise my eyebrows (with my eyeballs clearly visible) or I frown. In each case, I doubt.

Also I remember I passively use my eyebrows when my forehead sweats (which is quite rare - but it happens anyway): one of the functions of original eyebrows (not depilated) is to prevent sweat drops from falling into the eyes.

I also especially pay attention to my eyebrows when I cut the longest hairs of them and when the hairdresser cuts it for me (and she does it way better than I do).

 

But there's much more to it. Consider it my rambling part.

One sunny afternoon, as a teenager, I was bicycling in the countryside. There was that pretty steep dirt road with protuding flints. I was going too fast and I suddenly braked on the front wheel. I flew over my bike and fell in front of the front wheel, my head first. It hit a big protuding and pointed flint. That pointed stone hit my left eyebrow arch, more exactly right below the base of my left eyebrow, on the arch. I was terrified by what had just happened but I was lucky actually. The impact happened exactly where there could not cause damage, apparently.

I didn't boast about that... I had a small lump, which almost faded, leaving a harder area when the impact occured. Then it progressively disappeared. It took months.

More than 3 decades after, as I was screening my photo collection, I realized I could use the concept based on Yuri Gagarin (1934-1968, the first Earthling in Space, April 12, 1961) to build another representation in me of a "father". I resonated. I removed those photos then I realized I kept resonating anyway.

Many of the photos of him were "photoshopped" by the Soviets then - but not all. Yuri Gagarin had a defect related on his left eyebrow (and forehead). It is his "trademark". Much later, I remembered my bike incident and that left eyebrow thing. I don't consider that a coincidence but it adds to the emotional part of it all. Maybe I would have skipped Gagarin as "paternal restorer" if I hadn't had that bike incident and that left eyebrow thing. Well, I don't think I'd have skipped him anyway, because I resonate with the concept he now is, the left eyebrow is just secundary, not fundamental. I guess I see it as a sort of pattern we sort of have in common. Trademarks...

 

"Photoshopped" by the Soviets:

 

Not "photoshopped":

 

What is your favourite celestial body (and why)?

Edited October 5, 2020 by ant0n

[Helen of Annoy]

@ant0n Synchronicity! Nothing's ever a coincidence and I just love those little not at all coincidental moments when we can actually see the connections between seemingly not connected people, events and things.

 

Now, your question. 

I can't just say all of them, right? So let it be Moon. I appreciate Sun, certainly, it is the source of material life on Earth and anyone who has ever been really cold has a special place in their heart for the sudden rays of sun. I love the stars, all of them together, as an image in the night sky and individually, with their meanings and influences. But it's the Moon that listens to people's secrets and directs the tides, even our inner tides. 

I was always more a night type of person. Sun can hurt my slightly vampiric skin and eyes. And it makes me so tired. Only at night I wake up naturally. I have to change my rhythm because of work, but if was free to make my own schedule... I would only rarely have day time vigils   

Was this too short for a ramble? What is wrong with me? When I have to keep it short, my posts turn out endless, when I have a chance to ramble on unlimited, I'm done in two paragraphs. It must be my own brain teasing me again.

 

What's worse - to feel unbearable cold on your lower or upper body? 

Or, to put that question in a more pleasing way - what's better - to feel just right warmth on your lower or upper body?   

Edited October 6, 2020 by Helen of Annoy

[ant0n]

17 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

What's worse - to feel unbearable cold on your lower or upper body? 

Or, to put that question in a more pleasing way - what's better - to feel just right warmth on your lower or upper body?   

I think the worse is to feel unbearable cold on the upper human body, because the brain is there. There's nothing worse than a cold brain. I've seen many people with a cold brain in my life and I can tell you it's not nice to watch... They look "normal" but they express themselves like dumb beings. Each time I see them, it makes my blood run cold :O

 

Yes, the Gagarin's left eyebrow thing is interesting. I still get pretty emotional while watching some Gagarin's photos. I haven't dared listening to his voice or watching him in videos yet. Could I feel disappointed? I can create a whole world based on photos but actual videos could ruin it all and dissolve the magic.

The power we give to visuals again...

 

Go with the flow and ramble. We are quite free to ramble here, after answering and before asking - as long as we behave ^^

 

Today, I confessed I was too demanding to myself and to others. Well, I want results, solutions. I don't want to waste my time.

 

I also repeated I like Humans iin general, I, human, often enjoy sharing with humans. But also with benevolent exotic beings (I hope they can read me here).

 

What do you see in my present profile picture on UM?

[Helen of Annoy]

 

38 minutes ago, ant0n said:

I think the worse is to feel unbearable cold on the upper human body, because the brain is there. There's nothing worse than a cold brain. I've seen many people with a cold brain in my life and I can tell you it's not nice to watch... They look "normal" but they express themselves like dumb beings. Each time I see them, it makes my blood run cold :O

 

Yes, the Gagarin's left eyebrow thing is interesting. I still get pretty emotional while watching some Gagarin's photos. I haven't dared listening to his voice or watching him in videos yet. Could I feel disappointed? I can create a whole world based on photos but actual videos could ruin it all and dissolve the magic.

The power we give to visuals again...

 

Go with the flow and ramble. We are quite free to ramble here, after answering and before asking - as long as we behave ^^

 

Today, I confessed I was too demanding to myself and to others. Well, I want results, solutions. I don't want to waste my time.

 

I also repeated I like Humans iin general, I, human, often enjoy sharing with humans. But also with benevolent exotic beings (I hope they can read me here).

 

What do you see in my present profile picture on UM?

I see much less pain than there was in your Gagarin photos. He died couple of years before you were born? It doesn't have to be reincarnation, of course, maybe that phenomenon doesn't even exist, at least not so straightforwardly as human mind can imagine it, but there definitely is some sort of soul connection between you two. The eyebrow detail does not prove it, of course, but it's one of those little winks of the Universe that tell us - hey, you, look at this. 

I can see the logic in Gagarin's spiritual ancestry towards your current self. In whichever way it works. 

So, much less pain. Gagarin was known for that trademark smile of his, but since childhood it was clear to me that he was smiling in the same way I do. It's not a smile, it's a default facial expression that holds your face so it doesn't show the true emotions. Not that he (and I) didn't smile for real. So, whether you like it or not, but we're family  I felt connected to the same seemingly random guy. Out of different reasons and not so intense as you did, but connected enough to qualify as a cousin at least.  

Your profile photo shows a man who has healthy self-confidence. If you don't already have inner peace, then you will soon reach it. No one will be able to throw you off your balance. Even the way you cropped the photo shows that healthy confidence - you felt no need to make yourself the exact centre of the picture. You know you will be seen, even if you allow the rest of the world to be in your picture.

I must admit I outright envy you. There's still so much simmering in my own mind. I don't see that in you. 

There's one amusing detail, it can't be seen in the visual sense, but I get the impression that you do criticize when you think critic is deserved and that you are not too surprised when people disappoint you. Like, you sort of expect humans to do something disappointing, sooner or later. Not that you're wrong there. 

But you're not tormented with the insight. You can accept what has to be accepted.

And you're not giving empty promises, you just do or don't do stuff. 

All in all, I hope the people in your life are aware just how lucky they are to have you for a relative, friend and/or a neighbour.  

(Don't turn out to be a serial neighbour killer now   Kidding.)

 

Electricity. Have you ever been zapped by electric current? Or close to a lightning strike? 

[ant0n]

9 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

 

I see much less pain than there was in your Gagarin photos. He died couple of years before you were born? It doesn't have to be reincarnation, of course, maybe that phenomenon doesn't even exist, at least not so straightforwardly as human mind can imagine it, but there definitely is some sort of soul connection between you two. The eyebrow detail does not prove it, of course, but it's one of those little winks of the Universe that tell us - hey, you, look at this. 

I can see the logic in Gagarin's spiritual ancestry towards your current self. In whichever way it works. 

So, much less pain. Gagarin was known for that trademark smile of his, but since childhood it was clear to me that he was smiling in the same way I do. It's not a smile, it's a default facial expression that holds your face so it doesn't show the true emotions. Not that he (and I) didn't smile for real. So, whether you like it or not, but we're family  I felt connected to the same seemingly random guy. Out of different reasons and not so intense as you did, but connected enough to qualify as a cousin at least.  

Your profile photo shows a man who has healthy self-confidence. If you don't already have inner peace, then you will soon reach it. No one will be able to throw you off your balance. Even the way you cropped the photo shows that healthy confidence - you felt no need to make yourself the exact centre of the picture. You know you will be seen, even if you allow the rest of the world to be in your picture.

I must admit I outright envy you. There's still so much simmering in my own mind. I don't see that in you. 

There's one amusing detail, it can't be seen in the visual sense, but I get the impression that you do criticize when you think critic is deserved and that you are not too surprised when people disappoint you. Like, you sort of expect humans to do something disappointing, sooner or later. Not that you're wrong there. 

But you're not tormented with the insight. You can accept what has to be accepted.

And you're not giving empty promises, you just do or don't do stuff. 

All in all, I hope the people in your life are aware just how lucky they are to have you for a relative, friend and/or a neighbour.  

(Don't turn out to be a serial neighbour killer now   Kidding.)

 

Electricity. Have you ever been zapped by electric current? Or close to a lightning strike? 

(I need to quote your whole post to react to it. Consider it my rambling. You came up with so many relevant words there.)

 

- Answer:

Well, as a kid, I tried to be a human plug then got shaken: does that count?

I don't recall any interesting experiment with electricity, as far as I'm concerned.

I enjoy watching lightnings but I'm careful (not careful enough at times though). I'm not afraid of thunderstorms unless they get really violent and threatening.

 

- Rambling:

You wrote: "I see much less pain than there was in your Gagarin photos."

Where exactly do you see less pain than there was in those Gagarin photos?

You wrote: "He died couple of years before you were born? It doesn't have to be reincarnation, of course, maybe that phenomenon doesn't even exist, at least not so straightforwardly as human mind can imagine it, but there definitely is some sort of soul connection between you two. The eyebrow detail does not prove it, of course, but it's one of those little winks of the Universe that tell us - hey, you, look at this."

I was born in 1970. I did think about the reincarnation thing when the Gagarin thing really surfaced last summer but I don't want to get drowned in that simplistic belief. Regressions interest me but I don't relate the alleged "memories" to any "past life". I'm interested in the improving ("healing") power of such regressions. I've had three of them and I got an unexpected attunement during the first one (October 2016). Ironically, during that "past-life regression", I came to the realization reincarnation was simplistic and flawed. I'm solution-oriented and result-oriented.

Last summer, I experienced some kind of exaltation in which the remembrance of Gagarin was involved. I'm the member of only one reincarnation community (a Facebook group), which I know the owner of. I told her I had to leave her group for a while because I didn't want that reincarnation stuff to interfere with what I was experiencing. To me, those reincarnation beliefs are deceptive, simplistic, flawed, worthless - except some of the regression experiments.

Yuri Gagarin died in 1968. He does not exist any longer. His "essence" could have survived him - who knows. In any case, Yuri Gagarin does not exist any longer. So, basically, if I resonate with something more or less related to him, that'd be his "essence" or the "collective thought-form of him" - or else.

Thanks to Gagarin's visual legacy, I could create a sane representation of a "complementary father" in me (I say 'complementary', not 'substitute'). It simply and deeply restores the "paternal figure" in me. Moreover, the timeless visual legacy of Gagarin acts like a sort of atheistic non-spiritual "spirit guide", "pillar", "beacon" but also quite grounding, anchoring, humanizing.

I don't feel "him" as a brother, a cousin, not even a friend but as a sort of "male grounding pillar".

By the way, there are billions of people whose inner representation of father is sick and who seek a complementary father and instead of my sane choice, they choose a deceptive god, a celestial "Father". Is that a simplistic way to look at it all? I really think I'm right in that regard. How ironic. Psychology should be taught in school, right?

You wrote: "I can see the logic in Gagarin's spiritual ancestry towards your current self. In whichever way it works."

Could you please elaborate? Consider that rambling

 

You wrote: "Your profile photo shows a man who has healthy self-confidence. If you don't already have inner peace, then you will soon reach it. No one will be able to throw you off your balance. Even the way you cropped the photo shows that healthy confidence - you felt no need to make yourself the exact centre of the picture. You know you will be seen, even if you allow the rest of the world to be in your picture."

I took that photo last July 21 during a Zoom session. I actually didn't crop it and I didn't intentionally placed myself in some specific way in the photo: it's just the way my webcam sees me while having a video session in my "office". I didn't really choose the location of my desk when I moved in 2 years ago and I absolutely didn't know my huge poster of the Andromeda galaxy (yay) would appear that way through the webcam. BUT I did intentionally choose not to change my position while picturing myself. I wanted my galaxy poster to clearly be seen. Also, I was quite natural while picturing myself and I absolutely didn't feel like smiling, wearing one of those hypocritical photo-smiles. So that's quite an authentic photo. I consider it balanced. Again, the position of each part is not intentional - but keeping that photo that way is intentional.

 

- Question:

What do you actually mean with your present profile picture here on UM?

[Helen of Annoy]

21 hours ago, ant0n said:

(I need to quote your whole post to react to it. Consider it my rambling. You came up with so many relevant words there.)

 

- Answer:

Well, as a kid, I tried to be a human plug then got shaken: does that count?

I don't recall any interesting experiment with electricity, as far as I'm concerned.

I enjoy watching lightnings but I'm careful (not careful enough at times though). I'm not afraid of thunderstorms unless they get really violent and threatening.

!! You're lucky to be alive so you bet it counts. 

 

21 hours ago, ant0n said:

- Rambling:

You wrote: "I see much less pain than there was in your Gagarin photos."

Where exactly do you see less pain than there was in those Gagarin photos?

It's my impression. It's not based in clearly defined set of rules I could write down and subject to objective analysis. Gagarin always seemed like deeply saddened person to me, like someone who will live and die with that sadness as an integral and maybe even deciding part of his personality. While you seem like someone who can decide which of your own mental parts you want or don't and how much influence you will allow to the parts you keep.  

 

21 hours ago, ant0n said:

You wrote: "He died couple of years before you were born? It doesn't have to be reincarnation, of course, maybe that phenomenon doesn't even exist, at least not so straightforwardly as human mind can imagine it, but there definitely is some sort of soul connection between you two. The eyebrow detail does not prove it, of course, but it's one of those little winks of the Universe that tell us - hey, you, look at this."

I was born in 1970. I did think about the reincarnation thing when the Gagarin thing really surfaced last summer but I don't want to get drowned in that simplistic belief. Regressions interest me but I don't relate the alleged "memories" to any "past life". I'm interested in the improving ("healing") power of such regressions. I've had three of them and I got an unexpected attunement during the first one (October 2016). Ironically, during that "past-life regression", I came to the realization reincarnation was simplistic and flawed. I'm solution-oriented and result-oriented.

Last summer, I experienced some kind of exaltation in which the remembrance of Gagarin was involved. I'm the member of only one reincarnation community (a Facebook group), which I know the owner of. I told her I had to leave her group for a while because I didn't want that reincarnation stuff to interfere with what I was experiencing. To me, those reincarnation beliefs are deceptive, simplistic, flawed, worthless - except some of the regression experiments.

Yuri Gagarin died in 1968. He does not exist any longer. His "essence" could have survived him - who knows. In any case, Yuri Gagarin does not exist any longer. So, basically, if I resonate with something more or less related to him, that'd be his "essence" or the "collective thought-form of him" - or else.

Thanks to Gagarin's visual legacy, I could create a sane representation of a "complementary father" in me (I say 'complementary', not 'substitute'). It simply and deeply restores the "paternal figure" in me. Moreover, the timeless visual legacy of Gagarin acts like a sort of atheistic non-spiritual "spirit guide", "pillar", "beacon" but also quite grounding, anchoring, humanizing.

I don't feel "him" as a brother, a cousin, not even a friend but as a sort of "male grounding pillar".

By the way, there are billions of people whose inner representation of father is sick and who seek a complementary father and instead of my sane choice, they choose a deceptive god, a celestial "Father". Is that a simplistic way to look at it all? I really think I'm right in that regard. How ironic. Psychology should be taught in school, right?

You wrote: "I can see the logic in Gagarin's spiritual ancestry towards your current self. In whichever way it works."

Could you please elaborate? Consider that rambling

Yes, basic psychology should be taught in school. Instead, they're trying to indoctrinate children in my country with religion. I don't like that. Let children discover the faith, let them find refuge in the religion if they want so, but do not force it upon them. It only makes them develop very wrong concepts and they often get put off any spiritually altogether.

But while the god constructed by spiritually underdeveloped men to their own image is deceptive and cruel, men who discover they are in the image of the higher power are gently but constantly pulled above such troglodyte problems. This is why I gladly communicate with traditional religious archetypes too. What not to love back in the images of loving father and mother and countless brothers and sisters and flocks of angels too? Each of them simply loves me and if I don't get tangled in too many why?s and open to the realization I'm one of them, the grip of the material steel becomes like wet clay and changes its shape. 

Yes, I know I sound insane. Maybe I am. I love it. It's my sane moments that are driving me irritably nuts.

But I'm very far from being limited to one set of archetypes. I feel very drawn to the exploration of other traditions and I happily just add more substance to my own spiritual imagery lore. Currently, I'm a bit obsessed with Buddhist conch, which was about time, since I always was obsessed with spirals. 

Is there any space for a male grounding pillar in that? Certainly! 

While I do believe each person should be at peace with their biological gender and society shouldn't attempt to erase genders (not that it can be done anyway), it's also very clear to me that gender is prominent in the material levels. The deeper (or is it higher) you go, the less gender you find. I don't think my inmost self has any gender. But my outer mind is definitely a woman. Nasty woman, sometimes  

I'm trying to say that grounding pillars associated with gender quality are helpful for the balance of the outer mind, while spiritual ancestry is the support of more unlimited kind. These two aspects are not in conflict, at all, it's the root quality of the spiritual that is making a ground pillar trustworthy. 

21 hours ago, ant0n said:

 

You wrote: "Your profile photo shows a man who has healthy self-confidence. If you don't already have inner peace, then you will soon reach it. No one will be able to throw you off your balance. Even the way you cropped the photo shows that healthy confidence - you felt no need to make yourself the exact centre of the picture. You know you will be seen, even if you allow the rest of the world to be in your picture."

I took that photo last July 21 during a Zoom session. I actually didn't crop it and I didn't intentionally placed myself in some specific way in the photo: it's just the way my webcam sees me while having a video session in my "office". I didn't really choose the location of my desk when I moved in 2 years ago and I absolutely didn't know my huge poster of the Andromeda galaxy (yay) would appear that way through the webcam. BUT I did intentionally choose not to change my position while picturing myself. I wanted my galaxy poster to clearly be seen. Also, I was quite natural while picturing myself and I absolutely didn't feel like smiling, wearing one of those hypocritical photo-smiles. So that's quite an authentic photo. I consider it balanced. Again, the position of each part is not intentional - but keeping that photo that way is intentional.

 

- Question:

What do you actually mean with your present profile picture here on UM?

I always keep the same profile picture - it's me with my Hatopus (hat+octopus, an alien life form created through years by all the great forum members I had great pleasure and fortune to meet here) on my head. Only for the first few months I had a photo of my cat drinking from the toilet as my avatar. That photo was very fitting for me too, but this one's even better. 

It started as a humorous bet but then I realized that's exactly how I want to represent myself here. I want to be my words only while I'm here, without the visual info of the exact me. And the visual message is humorous (I hope), slightly disgusting (well, that's me), cartoonish and possible at the same time. 

 

Are spiral galaxies spiral because conch is spiral or is a conch spiral because the galaxy is? Or they've got nothing to do with each other? 

[ant0n]

17 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

!! You're lucky to be alive so you bet it counts. 

 

It's my impression. It's not based in clearly defined set of rules I could write down and subject to objective analysis. Gagarin always seemed like deeply saddened person to me, like someone who will live and die with that sadness as an integral and maybe even deciding part of his personality. While you seem like someone who can decide which of your own mental parts you want or don't and how much influence you will allow to the parts you keep.  

 

Yes, basic psychology should be taught in school. Instead, they're trying to indoctrinate children in my country with religion. I don't like that. Let children discover the faith, let them find refuge in the religion if they want so, but do not force it upon them. It only makes them develop very wrong concepts and they often get put off any spiritually altogether.

But while the god constructed by spiritually underdeveloped men to their own image is deceptive and cruel, men who discover they are in the image of the higher power are gently but constantly pulled above such troglodyte problems. This is why I gladly communicate with traditional religious archetypes too. What not to love back in the images of loving father and mother and countless brothers and sisters and flocks of angels too? Each of them simply loves me and if I don't get tangled in too many why?s and open to the realization I'm one of them, the grip of the material steel becomes like wet clay and changes its shape. 

Yes, I know I sound insane. Maybe I am. I love it. It's my sane moments that are driving me irritably nuts.

But I'm very far from being limited to one set of archetypes. I feel very drawn to the exploration of other traditions and I happily just add more substance to my own spiritual imagery lore. Currently, I'm a bit obsessed with Buddhist conch, which was about time, since I always was obsessed with spirals. 

Is there any space for a male grounding pillar in that? Certainly! 

While I do believe each person should be at peace with their biological gender and society shouldn't attempt to erase genders (not that it can be done anyway), it's also very clear to me that gender is prominent in the material levels. The deeper (or is it higher) you go, the less gender you find. I don't think my inmost self has any gender. But my outer mind is definitely a woman. Nasty woman, sometimes  

I'm trying to say that grounding pillars associated with gender quality are helpful for the balance of the outer mind, while spiritual ancestry is the support of more unlimited kind. These two aspects are not in conflict, at all, it's the root quality of the spiritual that is making a ground pillar trustworthy. 

I always keep the same profile picture - it's me with my Hatopus (hat+octopus, an alien life form created through years by all the great forum members I had great pleasure and fortune to meet here) on my head. Only for the first few months I had a photo of my cat drinking from the toilet as my avatar. That photo was very fitting for me too, but this one's even better. 

It started as a humorous bet but then I realized that's exactly how I want to represent myself here. I want to be my words only while I'm here, without the visual info of the exact me. And the visual message is humorous (I hope), slightly disgusting (well, that's me), cartoonish and possible at the same time. 

 

Are spiral galaxies spiral because conch is spiral or is a conch spiral because the galaxy is? Or they've got nothing to do with each other? 

"Earthly" conches actually come from the Andromeda galaxy. That's why they keep spiraling. I know scientists reply it's bullsheet but they do not know the truth, as certain as the Earth is flat (unlike the Moon, Mars, etc). You spiral too, by the way. All of us are involved in spirals within spirals: the rotating Earth, which orbits the Sun, which orbits our galaxy center, which orbits the gravity center of the Local Group ( = the galaxy cluster we're in) - and so on. That makes head spin, right?

 

I'm an apatheist, which means I do not care about the existence, the inexistence or whatever about "god". So you see, that's beyond atheism, which is based on the idea of "god". I absolutely do not need the idea of "god" in my own representation of all. I don't even give credit to the concept of "soul". However, I like the idea of "essence" surviving the body after its death. I like that idea. "Essence" has got no property to me except it's supposed to exist during existence and after, for a while. It's a deliciously vague concept to me.

 

Again, to me, "god" is quite a simplistic, flawed, anthropomorphized concept, which has nothing transcendental and which is quite human-based.

However, I accept the idea there's some kind of highly abstract stuff that could be distorted by Earthlings, leading to the limited and stupid (in my opinion) idea of "god".

I bet you remember my "blackboard vision", which is beyond black and from which patterns surface. Well, I'm abstract that way inside. To me, the concepts of "god", "soul", etc are gross.

But, as I said, I'm open to quite sophisticated and abstract concepts - which, I know, can get distorted and turned into gross concepts by Earthlings ^^

(I do consider myself an Earthling, by the way. I'm quite proud to be an Earthling but I may sometimes sound like a "foreigner" ^^)

 

"Hatopus": I love that!

I like octopuses. They're amazing. And - sorry for them - I enjoy eating some.

Your profile picture's always looked to me like worries/thoughts/even beliefs blocked your self from shining. Long-lasting eclipse.

At the same time, it feels like you're quite aware of that. Maybe you built yourself on such stuff. Not every problem requires a solution as we may need them as foundation, no matter how unstable they are. But sure thing is: if one solves that problem, it doesn't exist any longer, as well as the foundation.

Not everyone is ready to solve their fundamental problem and build a new life afterward.

I learned that not every problem must be solved - or not solved right waya. People are not machines they need more or less time, they need their pace to be respected. But life can hurry it all.

You may actually need that eclipsing thing as a shield. Now I think that hatopus is your shield, the mask you can see through but people can't see you through. Like sunglasses.

 

My question(s): What do you personally know about octopuses? What do they remind you of? What do you associate them with?

[Helen of Annoy]

1 hour ago, ant0n said:

"Earthly" conches actually come from the Andromeda galaxy. That's why they keep spiraling. I know scientists reply it's bullsheet but they do not know the truth, as certain as the Earth is flat (unlike the Moon, Mars, etc). You spiral too, by the way. All of us are involved in spirals within spirals: the rotating Earth, which orbits the Sun, which orbits our galaxy center, which orbits the gravity center of the Local Group ( = the galaxy cluster we're in) - and so on. That makes head spin, right?

Don't tease me like that. Our galaxy is spiral too. And Earth is flat only in an allegoric sense.

But I do agree that just thinking about the Universe makes one's head spin. 

 

1 hour ago, ant0n said:

 

I'm an apatheist, which means I do not care about the existence, the inexistence or whatever about "god". So you see, that's beyond atheism, which is based on the idea of "god". I absolutely do not need the idea of "god" in my own representation of all. I don't even give credit to the concept of "soul". However, I like the idea of "essence" surviving the body after its death. I like that idea. "Essence" has got no property to me except it's supposed to exist during existence and after, for a while. It's a deliciously vague concept to me.

 

Again, to me, "god" is quite a simplistic, flawed, anthropomorphized concept, which has nothing transcendental and which is quite human-based.

However, I accept the idea there's some kind of highly abstract stuff that could be distorted by Earthlings, leading to the limited and stupid (in my opinion) idea of "god".

I bet you remember my "blackboard vision", which is beyond black and from which patterns surface. Well, I'm abstract that way inside. To me, the concepts of "god", "soul", etc are gross.

But, as I said, I'm open to quite sophisticated and abstract concepts - which, I know, can get distorted and turned into gross concepts by Earthlings ^^

(I do consider myself an Earthling, by the way. I'm quite proud to be an Earthling but I may sometimes sound like a "foreigner" ^^)

I don't scorn the rudimentary. The little that the human mind can comprehend is always in form of allegories. We have no vocabulary for the truly abstract. Which is how we ended up with various gods and various further distortions of the already distorted by simplification. Or was it complicating?

Anyway, my most significant insight in a sort of a blackboard involved anthropomorphic beings at one point. So that imagery is working nicely for me.

Of course, you're not insane to impose on yourself something's that's gross to you. You will explore in different spectrum. I will remain in mine, because I just found the right angle under my inner suns and moons. 

Yes, I'm an Earthling too, born and raised here, though I used to feel homesick while I was young and the life I was about to live through seemed far too long to ever come to its end. It's becoming less of a problem with each year   

 

All in all, it's interesting, how much can people share while they disagree  

 

1 hour ago, ant0n said:

"Hatopus": I love that!

I like octopuses. They're amazing. And - sorry for them - I enjoy eating some.

Your profile picture's always looked to me like worries/thoughts/even beliefs blocked your self from shining. Long-lasting eclipse.

At the same time, it feels like you're quite aware of that. Maybe you built yourself on such stuff. Not every problem requires a solution as we may need them as foundation, no matter how unstable they are. But sure thing is: if one solves that problem, it doesn't exist any longer, as well as the foundation.

Not everyone is ready to solve their fundamental problem and build a new life afterward.

I learned that not every problem must be solved - or not solved right waya. People are not machines they need more or less time, they need their pace to be respected. But life can hurry it all.

You may actually need that eclipsing thing as a shield. Now I think that hatopus is your shield, the mask you can see through but people can't see you through. Like sunglasses.

Thank you for caring. I sincerely appreciate that very much. But don't worry, I'm very comfortable in the shade. Because I am a little like an octopus. 

 

1 hour ago, ant0n said:

My question(s): What do you personally know about octopuses? What do they remind you of? What do you associate them with?

I know the basics about their (very interesting) anatomy. I know their DNA is intriguingly different than it's usual on this planet. I know they taste the best baked after they've been frozen shortly, it makes them tender. I like them for their attitude - they're not aggressive if they've got no reason to be aggressive but when they do have a reason, they win (or escape) in the shortest way possible. I like them for their supreme camouflage, sacrifice for their young, playfulness and intelligence.     

I also like them for they often creep people out  Which reminds me I didn't mention how much I like their suction cups. I wish mammals had some, they seem really practical. And the ink. Inking the threats and annoyances. It's what I sometimes do, only verbally. Well, is it my fault they gave me a reason? 

 

The question is are we the blackboards to others? Do we see in each other only that, what we project, or there're moments of clear communicative visibility?  

[ant0n]

9 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Don't tease me like that. Our galaxy is spiral too. And Earth is flat only in an allegoric sense.

But I do agree that just thinking about the Universe makes one's head spin. 

 

I don't scorn the rudimentary. The little that the human mind can comprehend is always in form of allegories. We have no vocabulary for the truly abstract. Which is how we ended up with various gods and various further distortions of the already distorted by simplification. Or was it complicating?

Anyway, my most significant insight in a sort of a blackboard involved anthropomorphic beings at one point. So that imagery is working nicely for me.

Of course, you're not insane to impose on yourself something's that's gross to you. You will explore in different spectrum. I will remain in mine, because I just found the right angle under my inner suns and moons. 

Yes, I'm an Earthling too, born and raised here, though I used to feel homesick while I was young and the life I was about to live through seemed far too long to ever come to its end. It's becoming less of a problem with each year   

 

All in all, it's interesting, how much can people share while they disagree  

 

Thank you for caring. I sincerely appreciate that very much. But don't worry, I'm very comfortable in the shade. Because I am a little like an octopus. 

 

I know the basics about their (very interesting) anatomy. I know their DNA is intriguingly different than it's usual on this planet. I know they taste the best baked after they've been frozen shortly, it makes them tender. I like them for their attitude - they're not aggressive if they've got no reason to be aggressive but when they do have a reason, they win (or escape) in the shortest way possible. I like them for their supreme camouflage, sacrifice for their young, playfulness and intelligence.     

I also like them for they often creep people out  Which reminds me I didn't mention how much I like their suction cups. I wish mammals had some, they seem really practical. And the ink. Inking the threats and annoyances. It's what I sometimes do, only verbally. Well, is it my fault they gave me a reason? 

 

The question is are we the blackboards to others? Do we see in each other only that, what we project, or there're moments of clear communicative visibility?  

To me, every perceiving being exists in a sort of "black" reality. That being creates the colors it sees, the sounds it hears, the smells it smells, the tastes it tastes, the feeling of touch when it touches and similarly for any other sense (there are not only 5 possible sense in humans). In that "black" environment, there are solid "black" things, like your desk (beyond black), anything "solid". You can feel they're solid in the "black reality" because you create the feelings of touch accordingly. But even without creating that feeling of touch, those things would keep being solid, i.e. you couldn't go through your desk even though you had no sense. I can't stand the ideas according to which reality would cease existing without observers (i.e. humans namely). To me, the ultimate reality exists beyond observers. At the same time, I'm into instrumentalism.

A simple comparaison is people wearing virtual reality devices:

I'm sure someone here can get the full dimension of it all. I do hope so. I'm pretty sure Helen can.

 

And now I remember I do have things to explain that are not so easy to explain. I use comparisons and metaphors and sure they can be really helpful - but they are useful only to some extent. I'm light-years away from family members who criticize the neighbors and so on. I avoid talking about deep topics in family.

For example, I experienced an exaltation period last summer and I wanted to experiment it all on Facebook mostly. I was so fed up with potentially being judged by the family members I had in my Facebook contact list that I blocked them all in a matter of minutes. Then I felt free to do whatever I wanted on Facebook, without being judged. I was proud about that, I took the courage to do it (after spending so much time getting family members on Facebook). The day after, I proudly told my mother I blocked them all (including my bro, his wife, their daughter) and she really thought I was not alright. I told her again yesterday, two our three months after, and this time she fully accepts it and agrees with me.

 

If you were a famous actor/actress, what would you specifically be famous for?

 

[ant0n]

Apparently, the two pictures I posted above don't show up well (especially the second one). Here they are again:

 

 

If you were a famous actor/actress, what would you specifically be famous for?

[Helen of Annoy]

17 hours ago, ant0n said:

If you were a famous actor/actress, what would you specifically be famous for?

For damaging the screens with my angry stare  I don't normally stare angrily, but when I do it seems to work as intended. Drilling holes in people's confidence   

Seriously, I don't think I'd be a good actress. I'd keep having my ideas about the role I'm supposed to play. But it does happen sometimes that people become famous despite their professional faults, so I guess I'd be famous for driving directors insane. And refusing the roles I can't actually identify with, or at least accept them as remotely convincing or meaningful. 

I'd also be famous for refusing any plastic surgery, so at this point in my career I'd play only old hag roles, while the actual old hags, with their facial skin tied behind their head like a ponytail would play my granddaughters  

And I would be famous for that one and only time I was given a role in a theatre play and suddenly started improvising until the whole audience was involved and we refused to leave after the scheduled closing hour. I told you I wouldn't be a good actress. The real me just pops out eventually, no matter what was the original plan.

 

Speaking of plans, how often does your plan consist of "I'll just start doing it and see where it leads me"?  

 

[Carlos Allende]

I remember, I had this hollow plastic sphere that once contained a cheap vending machine toy. Just some hemispheres, about the size of a cricket ball, and you could crack them open and put something inside. And at the same time, I was looking at the socks in my sock drawer, and I just thought, 'what if I teased all the random little bits of wool and cotton off the socks, and rolled them up, and stored them in this plastic ball?' So I started doing it. Over the course of several months, I'd now and again tease free some bits of straggly wool and roll them up and pad them down in the hemispheres. Bits of black sock, bits of neon sock, bits of blue sock. All different colours. Soon there were hundreds and hundreds of bits of rolled up wool inside this plastic sphere. And I just thought, 'what if the socks can magically grow and regenerate all the bits of wool that I pull off?' You could start your own little industry of making wool insulation, or making little pillows for gerbils, etc. 

But then, as a kid in the 80's, I got distracted from this concept and never pursued it. I probably got distracted by something like an episode of The A Team, or some spilled petrol on a garage forecourt, or some chocolate fag ends, or a hedgerow, or a cat, or some crayons. I probably got distracted by something like a stolen cash register in a wood, or jumble sale run by a religious cult, or an advert, or a jar of honey, or a toy plane, or having a wee against a rusty gate in such a way that your wee looks like blood. I probably got distracted by something like a foot stool that was made from fabric but it smelt like leather, or a waggy tail dog, or a pot of woodglue, or a photo of Pol Pot, or some blue tack, or a Lego pirate, or some tears, or a novelty baseball cap, or a dream, or a cartoon, or a fart, or a wood pigeon, or a snowglobe that had lost all its water, or a novelty poker visor, or a chocolate bar, or some spit.

What's the best thing you ever found in a wood?

[Ozymandias]

Answer: The best thing I have found in a wood was happiness!

Ramble: As a kid I had a magical childhood playing in a small forest near my home. I probably have a nostalgic and romanticized view of it but I always get a feeling of well-being and belonging whenever I enter a wood, especially a natural wood. I hate the modern seried ranks of evergreens you find in commercially planted forest. My childhood forest extended over a couple of acres and had everything in it: alder. sally, oak, hazel, ash, holly, birch, and even yew, as well as some clearings carpeted in lush green grass. As a playground you could not ask for better. We ran along its well-worn pathways, climbed its trees, daring each other to go ever higher, built huts on the ground and in the trees, made bows-and-arrows and spears, hid in its secret places and just lost ourselves in the moment of it all until the dreaded call of our mothers or fathers told us we had to return to the mundanity of the real world and go home to eat, or sleep, or do our homework. We unwittingly learned to appreciate the sunny, dry days of unchecked youthful exhuberance - the 'glad animal movements' recalled by Wordsworth from his boyhood - and to endure the rainy ones crouched in our huts or under a sheltering tree. In a very visceral way we experienced the changing seasons and instinctively understood their meaning and value in our lives. As we played we saw the real struggle of life and death play out daily in a myriad of little, and not so little, ways - the pros and cons of our existence naturally and subliminally imbibed as life-lessons to our growing selves. I know I had my childhood tribulations and my daily ups and downs, but overall we were happy then and God was in his heaven.

Question: Is nostalgia a bad thing?

[Helen of Annoy]

Nostalgia is a good thing. It means you've got a point in time where you truly fit, a safe point in time. It's a personal proof that everything can be right, though it wasn't, of course. But you felt so right that the imperfections simply pale.  

Since my life was made using almost exclusively upside-down and inside-out elements, I was more nostalgic in my childhood, for the times that should come, than I'm nostalgic today for any particular time in the past. My childhood was annoying. Everyone treated my like a child  Even the dogs. In fact, dogs especially treated me like a child, taking extra care they don't hurt me. My grandmother would always warn me not to disturb the dog while he's eating because he will bite me and no one would blame him for doing so. Of course, I had to make sure it was true, so I carefully touched his head the next time he was eating. Nothing. I scratched him gently behind his ears. He looked at me, like he's asking: "What do you need, kid, can't it wait while I eat?" I was so embarrassed. Never again would I disturb a dog while he's eating. He wasn't offended, but I was. Offended with my own stupidity and inconsideration. At least he kept giving me fleas so we're even, or not, because fleas were not his conscious choice. So large fleas. Fit for a circus. 

 

Is it better to say too little or too much? 

[ant0n]

20 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Is it better to say too little or too much? 

To begin with, what are the beings who decide whether what we say is "too little" or "too much"? How legit are they?

Nothing about what we say can be "too little" or "too much" unless some Earthlings (including us) drew a more or less fluctuating boundery.

 

When we say too little, it's considered unappropriate by some Earthlings (and maybe even by some aliens too) but that also implies we can say more: we haven't reached the "appropriate upper limit" yet.

On the other hand, if it's considered we've spoken too much, the "appropriate limit" was exceeded, we are supposed (if we are docile) to lower stuff in one way or another.

But... aren't we daredevils? If we said "too much", we can still say even more, right?

 

I think it is necessary for each individual to express themselves as much as they can but while respecting their own limits and others' (on a case-by-case basis). Life is short, as we say, and this world is unstable. I think it's important to express oneself, progress, share. It's all about survival instinct in me. I don't know about others though: are they moved by such an instinct as much as I am? I know I want to progress until my last breath and beyond. I programmed myself that way.

 

I volunteer as homework assistant twice a week. I deal with kids from the age of 6 to 14. They display various skin colours, cultures, languages. I like that harmonious diversity. Yesterday, I had to help a 14-year-old girl born in France. She didn't know what the substraction 18 - 17 gives. I patiently asked her to write that substraction down on a sheet of paper. She had a calculator close to her and I think I would have fainted if she had used it to solve that substraction ^^

She finally got the result I expected. I was patient, benevolent. I wanted her to improve her calculation skills one way or another.

But I was unable to actually help her improve in that regard. I felt helpless. I know other kids and teens there who are unable to read or calculate, even those who were born in France.

Yesterday, I was worried. I couldn't confess about that to the other colleagues that day, they were busy or had left already. I'll tell them next week. I wonder how to help those kids and teens in calculating and reading but... still I feel helpless.

Then I wondered about what kind of adults those kids and teens are expected to become. I do wish them the best, I want them to progress, to reveal their own potential but... I think many of them will be easy preys for predators. I think they'll easily get influenced.

But I may be wrong. I do hope so.

I don't often feel helpless but I did yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday.

 

What do you think/feel about this suggestion, "Expect the unexpected"?

[Helen of Annoy]

17 hours ago, ant0n said:

To begin with, what are the beings who decide whether what we say is "too little" or "too much"? How legit are they?

Nothing about what we say can be "too little" or "too much" unless some Earthlings (including us) drew a more or less fluctuating boundery.

 

When we say too little, it's considered unappropriate by some Earthlings (and maybe even by some aliens too) but that also implies we can say more: we haven't reached the "appropriate upper limit" yet.

On the other hand, if it's considered we've spoken too much, the "appropriate limit" was exceeded, we are supposed (if we are docile) to lower stuff in one way or another.

But... aren't we daredevils? If we said "too much", we can still say even more, right?

 

I think it is necessary for each individual to express themselves as much as they can but while respecting their own limits and others' (on a case-by-case basis). Life is short, as we say, and this world is unstable. I think it's important to express oneself, progress, share. It's all about survival instinct in me. I don't know about others though: are they moved by such an instinct as much as I am? I know I want to progress until my last breath and beyond. I programmed myself that way.

 

I volunteer as homework assistant twice a week. I deal with kids from the age of 6 to 14. They display various skin colours, cultures, languages. I like that harmonious diversity. Yesterday, I had to help a 14-year-old girl born in France. She didn't know what the substraction 18 - 17 gives. I patiently asked her to write that substraction down on a sheet of paper. She had a calculator close to her and I think I would have fainted if she had used it to solve that substraction ^^

She finally got the result I expected. I was patient, benevolent. I wanted her to improve her calculation skills one way or another.

But I was unable to actually help her improve in that regard. I felt helpless. I know other kids and teens there who are unable to read or calculate, even those who were born in France.

Yesterday, I was worried. I couldn't confess about that to the other colleagues that day, they were busy or had left already. I'll tell them next week. I wonder how to help those kids and teens in calculating and reading but... still I feel helpless.

Then I wondered about what kind of adults those kids and teens are expected to become. I do wish them the best, I want them to progress, to reveal their own potential but... I think many of them will be easy preys for predators. I think they'll easily get influenced.

But I may be wrong. I do hope so.

I don't often feel helpless but I did yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday.

I'm sorry you experience the feeling of helplessness sometimes. I know how it feels too. Probably everyone (objective) does.

But you are making a difference for the better for each child you're trying to help. 

Not to the extent you'd consider satisfactory, but you are making it better, not worse. Even for those who can't or won't use your help. Your positive influence is there. Maybe it'll germinate one day. Even there, where you don't expect it. 

Thank you for your efforts and patience. That's what a lot of kids want to tell you. Some will want to tell you that only when they grow up. Others are just lost and you can't change that. It's horrible. But I don't want to finish this with the word "horrible", so I'll say, again, thank you  

 

17 hours ago, ant0n said:

What do you think/feel about this suggestion, "Expect the unexpected"?

I always expect the unexpected. To the point where the expect becomes the unexpected. It may seem crazy, but it's actually very simple and logical: when we calculate the outcomes, we never know about all the factors involved and their exact interactions. This is why events, when they unfold, are never exactly the same as we expected.

Which is why I so often laugh at work. People are prone to attempt various schemes, mostly way too elaborate, counting on that what is expected, forgetting that what is expected from a bovine is not expected from a Jupiter - to abuse the Latin proverb that goes a bit differently (Quod licet Iovi non licet bovi - What is allowed to Jupiter is not allowed to a bull.)  Humans are somewhere in between cattle and Jupiter, so while it certainly is a mistake to underestimate own influence in own life, it's potentially more devastating mistake to assign own self god-like influence, especially in matters that involve other sentient beings. And countless factors. Did I mention just how mindbogglingly numerous are factors involved in every single thing - that is not single, ever, precisely because everything's so entangled? 

So I laugh often, each time someone's ingenious intrigue falls apart because they thought the expected somehow, magically, coincides with the desirable. And I expect them to do it again, because it's unexpected (objectively the expected would be not repeating the same mistake). They angrily blame supernatural immunity of reality to their attempts, while they should blame their limited understanding of reality. 

Ah. Humans. Some humans, that is. Of all apes and monkeys, could it be that their screeching is the most annoying? 

But the other ones, those who cultivate their natural humanity with patience rooted in compassion... how can I express my emotions for them without sounding corny? 

And it's not the matter of intelligence. Some brains do logical operations quicker, some slower, better or worse, but it doesn't matter. What matters is the inner peace that makes one cooperative instead of competitive. In a cooperative setting, everyone is free to do what they're good at, without the need to torment themselves with stuff that will always escape them.

But we live in a competitive world, hunted by predators that come from our own kind.

Call me naive, but human society was healthier while we had actual wolves to worry about, instead of cannibals.

Speaking of which, the tale of the boy who cried wolf sounds differently today. Boy cries wolf, though there isn't one. Half the village swishes out their phones to take a video of a boy being devoured by wolves, while the other half pretends they didn't hear anything so they remain not involved. In a few days, boy cries wolf again, half of the half of the village swishes out their phones, while the other half starts ripping the child apart because - hey, they can blame the wolves, didn't you hear there're wolves around? The half that pretended their didn't hear anything keeps pretending they didn't hear anything because the more they hear the less they wish to be involved. 

 

Would you tell me a fairy tale?  

[ant0n]

On 10/11/2020 at 4:29 PM, Helen of Annoy said:

Would you tell me a fairy tale?  

Alright ^^

 

A few of us know about that exocivilization on that exoplanet they call Ix. We're humble whenever it's about Ixians: their existence is beyond our comprehension. They're nothing like we can imagine as Earthlings. They're beyond. Even if we were able to imagine a little bit of what they actually were, our brain would freeze - or boil - or both at once.

Ixians want to communicate with us though. They do know how to connect with way less evolved civilizations: interfaces. They create a whole story, impersoned by actual synthetic 3D beings: interfaces. Ixians chose to create synthetic living interfaces that look like male, female or neutral fairies. They look quite realistic to us. Ixians use those interfaces and those stories to reach us, cerebrally speaking.

I'm in love with one of those fairy-interfaces. I couldn't help it. Yes, I know they are interfaces but... aren't we interfaces too?

 

Well, today's been an interesting day. I was involved in argument at work and I handled it quite well, calmly but firmly. Well, I was right and she was wrong. I don't deny I've learned thanks to her but I'm going to select someone else instead, noticeably more intelligent, someone who knows me (to some extent), someone with whom I've made huge progress. No more impostors, please... ^^

 

Back to alien-Earthlings interfaces, what does this picture make you think/feel about?

Edited October 13, 2020 by ant0n

[Helen of Annoy]

On 10/13/2020 at 11:50 PM, ant0n said:

Alright ^^

 

A few of us know about that exocivilization on that exoplanet they call Ix. We're humble whenever it's about Ixians: their existence is beyond our comprehension. They're nothing like we can imagine as Earthlings. They're beyond. Even if we were able to imagine a little bit of what they actually were, our brain would freeze - or boil - or both at once.

Ixians want to communicate with us though. They do know how to connect with way less evolved civilizations: interfaces. They create a whole story, impersoned by actual synthetic 3D beings: interfaces. Ixians chose to create synthetic living interfaces that look like male, female or neutral fairies. They look quite realistic to us. Ixians use those interfaces and those stories to reach us, cerebrally speaking.

I'm in love with one of those fairy-interfaces. I couldn't help it. Yes, I know they are interfaces but... aren't we interfaces too?

 

Well, today's been an interesting day. I was involved in argument at work and I handled it quite well, calmly but firmly. Well, I was right and she was wrong. I don't deny I've learned thanks to her but I'm going to select someone else instead, noticeably more intelligent, someone who knows me (to some extent), someone with whom I've made huge progress. No more impostors, please... ^^

 

Back to alien-Earthlings interfaces, what does this picture make you think/feel about?

My first thought upon seeing that (very cute while conveying perfectly serious messages) image: Well, if they can't learn your language, you have to learn theirs. Someone has to make that first step towards understanding. And through learning their language, you can feel the way they feel. It helps avoiding misunderstandings. It also helps creating them, if that's necessary.

I hiss at cats when I don't approve of something they do. They understand that and they can't pretend they don't understand, like they can pretend about human words. I also make purr-like noises and meow to show my approval. It works. 

I would also howl when village dogs start the barking-howling chain, but I had to stop it because people were complaining the dogs are accepting my howling so it just encourages the behaviour everyone's trying to stop. Party-poopers. Humans, not the dogs. 

 

My second though - oh, yes, doesn't our superego create all those convenient puppet-personalities that were tailored for communication purposes?

I get out of my work personality the moment I make first step towards home, that's convenient. But the emotions follow. That is not convenient. My garden saves my life. These silent, seemingly mindless plants, they know exactly what I carry and they take it away, clean it and return the pure energy. I hope I'll come to them one day without anything ugly for them to help me clean. I hope but I know I won't. I can't stop falling into that trap, always the same trap - giving attention to pieces of **** instead of going simply around them, emotionless. I give them anger they don't deserve. The greatest insult is indifference and why can't I learn to insult properly already? Because a little growling sets boundaries much better than silence, often confused for weakness among apes, that's why. 

On the brighter side, *******s are actually less common than it seems. They just leave disgusting impression. In the end of the day I don't mention 17 or 28 polite and sane people I communicated with, only that one ******* who tried this or that, yet again, **** him persistent. 

'scuse me. 

The rain is persistent too. Of course it is, it's October. I should buy a new umbrella but I like my old one so much I'm not ready to part with it, though it's leaking and looks even more broken than it is. It's just one of those stretchers that is broken, so when you fold it, it looks like a bat with one wing dropping to the ground. In one different life, when someone, supposedly me, was a child, bats would fly so masterfully between trees and houses. I wonder if they still do that there, at the end of my world. There's no reason for other worlds to end just because one of them did. But worlds often end synchronously. Because they're entwined, be it visible or not, or because one was stopping the other from thriving. Who knows. I don't even want to know actually, I rather imagine the bats are still there. Soundless, weightless, swift hunters of bugs at night, hanging in the attics during the day, chirping like birds, happy for being close to each other.    

I can't always hang that close to others. I have to sleep alone from time to time, so when the nightmare comes it doesn't leak into the reality of others. It would be unforgivable. 

 

Can you forgive yourself easier than you forgive others? Or is it the other way around?  

[ant0n]

On 10/15/2020 at 9:24 PM, Helen of Annoy said:

My first thought upon seeing that (very cute while conveying perfectly serious messages) image: Well, if they can't learn your language, you have to learn theirs. Someone has to make that first step towards understanding. And through learning their language, you can feel the way they feel. It helps avoiding misunderstandings. It also helps creating them, if that's necessary.

I hiss at cats when I don't approve of something they do. They understand that and they can't pretend they don't understand, like they can pretend about human words. I also make purr-like noises and meow to show my approval. It works. 

I would also howl when village dogs start the barking-howling chain, but I had to stop it because people were complaining the dogs are accepting my howling so it just encourages the behaviour everyone's trying to stop. Party-poopers. Humans, not the dogs. 

 

My second though - oh, yes, doesn't our superego create all those convenient puppet-personalities that were tailored for communication purposes?

I get out of my work personality the moment I make first step towards home, that's convenient. But the emotions follow. That is not convenient. My garden saves my life. These silent, seemingly mindless plants, they know exactly what I carry and they take it away, clean it and return the pure energy. I hope I'll come to them one day without anything ugly for them to help me clean. I hope but I know I won't. I can't stop falling into that trap, always the same trap - giving attention to pieces of **** instead of going simply around them, emotionless. I give them anger they don't deserve. The greatest insult is indifference and why can't I learn to insult properly already? Because a little growling sets boundaries much better than silence, often confused for weakness among apes, that's why. 

On the brighter side, *******s are actually less common than it seems. They just leave disgusting impression. In the end of the day I don't mention 17 or 28 polite and sane people I communicated with, only that one ******* who tried this or that, yet again, **** him persistent. 

'scuse me. 

The rain is persistent too. Of course it is, it's October. I should buy a new umbrella but I like my old one so much I'm not ready to part with it, though it's leaking and looks even more broken than it is. It's just one of those stretchers that is broken, so when you fold it, it looks like a bat with one wing dropping to the ground. In one different life, when someone, supposedly me, was a child, bats would fly so masterfully between trees and houses. I wonder if they still do that there, at the end of my world. There's no reason for other worlds to end just because one of them did. But worlds often end synchronously. Because they're entwined, be it visible or not, or because one was stopping the other from thriving. Who knows. I don't even want to know actually, I rather imagine the bats are still there. Soundless, weightless, swift hunters of bugs at night, hanging in the attics during the day, chirping like birds, happy for being close to each other.    

I can't always hang that close to others. I have to sleep alone from time to time, so when the nightmare comes it doesn't leak into the reality of others. It would be unforgivable. 

 

Can you forgive yourself easier than you forgive others? Or is it the other way around?  

I've been forgiving myself much more easily since I fully accepted myself last June.

I recently chose to unconditionally forgive anyone (including myself), that is to say without any required rational reasoning (conditional). I just want not to waste my time hating or feeling frustrated because I can't forgive.

However, there's still one person I cannot forgive unconditionally. That's actually someone I didn't want to "get away with murder" that easily. I guess that's mainly why one doesn't want to forgive (even self): because one doesn't want the specific person to "easily get away with murder".

I've recently noticed I could forgive myself and others more easily, at the same level.

 

I speak English with a noticeable French accent. I don't speak a French caricature of English but sure, English-speaking people can clearly identify my French roots. I know some consider French accent and France's French itself quite charming. I should remember that and be proud of that. I just want to speak/write good English and not to sound like a French who makes no effort to speak English (which can be funny, by the way).

This video is hilarious and so true ^^ In my region (100 miles southwest of Paris), we usually do 2 kisses, starting from the right cheek ^^

And yes, we make that mawh sound for each bise ^^

 

How do you kiss your relatives/friends and do you also make that mwah sound each time?

[Helen of Annoy]

Thank god for social distancing because yes, in coastal Croatia you're about to be kissed, whether you like it or not. Men don't kiss each other, they shake hands and pat each other's shoulders. But if there're women, there will be kissing, because they can and will kiss family, which includes anyone in any way related to you, and friends, which includes everyone else. Continental part of the country is a little less prone to kissing, but just a little. 

Mwah happens, but more often there's no actual kiss, just ritual "dance" of heads that represents the kissing. 

I always hated it. It makes me too aware of the emotional inventory of the person I'm greeting. People don't realize how much of their true feelings they shed around. It's not a problem with kind people, except when they carry a great sadness and kind people always do. But still, it's not a problem. I like to think maybe their burden becomes a little less heavy when it's noticed, therefore shared in a way. But it's a gigantic problem when a snake, a god-damn viper is slithering around me, thinking I can't hear the hissing behind their mwah-ing. I love real snakes, but the human ones should have their heads crushed... all right, I take that back. No crushing. Who am I to say whose head is worth wasting oxygen... here I go again... there's this little anger issue I've got. 

I don't like hypocrites. I really don't. I work with people and some of them come through the door yelling obscenities - no problem. I know exactly what they think is the problem, it will be solved, we always part as friends and they always apologize for their colourful language. Which they don't have to, I'd curse in their place too. What I absolutely detest are the snakes. Slithering in with sickly sweet smiles, filling the air with emotional stench of decomposed values. Grow some ethics, you filthy reptiles. No offence to the actual reptiles. There's always a lizard or two, living in my mailbox. Soon they'll go hibernate and I will know the spring has come when they return to the mailbox. They sometimes shed their skin in there. Transparent, delicate, a little torn remnant of a stage in lizard's life. I also witness the stages of their tails growing back while picking up my mail. 

I'm not that different from them. I changed my skin many times and there are little pieces left in various shoe boxes that last surprisingly longer than the actual shoes that came in them. 

On the other hand, of course shoe boxes last longer, since they hardly ever move. 

 

If a wardrobe was a portal to Narnia, where could a shoe box lead?