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Beliefs... everyone has them


Jodie.Lynne

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Just now, XenoFish said:

Quit trying to sound smart Will, you're not very good at it.

 

Stop arguing Xeno. You yourself said you're tired of it. 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, Will Do said:

 

Stop arguing Xeno. You yourself said you're tired of it. 

 

 

Who's arguing? You can pretend all you want, but no one is buying your fortune cookie babble. 

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9 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Who's arguing? You can pretend all you want, but no one is buying your fortune cookie babble. 

 

No Xeno. It seems now that you've left the "team" no one is buying much lately that you're babbling about lol.

But you keep babbling Xeno. Because now your babbling is music to my ears and I sincerely congratulate you for having the guts to do so.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Sherapy said:

And, well said. On my path, I call this mindfulness, we are on the same journey, just a different path. :wub:
 

 

Look over your shoulder.

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On 12/5/2020 at 12:34 AM, Nuclear Wessel said:

If a pond doesn't have any water, it is not a pond... it's a hole in the ground.

Incorrect. despite what some dictionaries say  

"A pond"  is like "a dam"  it is/can be,  both a structure and a body of water 

keep researching.

A pond without water is a dry pond.

A fish pond without  water or fish remains a fish pond just as a fish tank or an aquarium, without water or fish,  remains a fish tank/ aquarium   A dry lake remains a lake, just a dry lake.  

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On 12/5/2020 at 4:11 AM, Sherapy said:

Interesting.

Feeling sorry for people is pity, and it certainly has a place for me, it works well to let go of toxic people, but it isn’t compassion.

Stick close to Manwon, he brings out your best, then get out and live. Experience is a big part of the picture too.
 

Just my two cents, 

feeling sorry for people is not always pity. it can be compassion, empathy and many more positive feelings than pity 

i do wonder sometimes  if somehow your childhood robbed you of some of the more powerful positive emptions  because tome you have some strange and incomplete emotional responses (and yes this is a subjective opinion, based on how i was raised to feel about myself and other people 

Its more constructive not to engage with toxic people but sometimes one still wants to help them.  It can depend on how they  developed their toxicity and if you might be able to help them become less toxic.

lol You've followed my posts for over a decade. You know i have lived more in my life than most people do in two or three.  (Unless of course you dont believe me)

There are some things i feel no need to do, but there are hundreds which i  physically listed and achieved staring as a child and revising several times over my life as i completed each list   

 

And every day is  still packed with interesting things to do and people to meet 

 

 

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22 minutes ago, Mr Walker said:

Incorrect. despite what some dictionaries say  

I don't know of any dictionary that claims a pond to be anything but a body of still water. You are incorrect.

Are you arguing that a body of still water is still considered to be a body of still water even in the absence of water (as it states in every definition I have read)? You can't just change the meaning of a word because you can't stand being incorrect.

Edited by Nuclear Wessel
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14 hours ago, joc said:

I would go as far as to say that 98% of our 'ego', 'subjective reality tunnel', whatever one wishes to call it, is learned from birth; And that becomes the foundation of everything else...parenting, et al. It is a generational reincarnation.

Our moral judgements are cemented in from birth...our religious affiliations ditto...and of course our political ideologies.  In fact, 98% of everything we believe as adults has been instilled into our brains from birth by those who raised us.   It is difficult to separate those ideological birth straps from our own belief.  And, I think that only a very small percentage of people on the planet understand that they didn't choose what they believe.. 

Just my thoughts...gotta go clean out the garage now! :)

That is not my experience 

but then i went to university and engaged in a very different  form of life and values from  my parents.

I do take what you say, because, until then, like most kids whose parents are doing a good job, i thought they knew everything and were always right.

They never presented values  as absolutes but asked us to look a t measurable outcomes of beliefs and morals when the y were applied  

In the end the y were right in about 90% of things, from  knowledge to values. But i learned to be different in some significant ways 

I dont know if you are right or not but most people i know, including all my family, absolutely, consciously and carefully, choose what the y  believe, and can give logical rational reasons why those beliefs are best for them and for their family /society etc.  and why the y chose them and not others   We 4 siblings have a wide range of beliefs and values although most of the basic underlying ones are the traditional, good ones.  

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14 hours ago, Will Do said:

 

None of my religious beliefs are those instilled in me by my parents.

None of my political beliefs are those instilled in me by my parents. 

100% of what I believe, are in accordance with only one thing: My choices. 

 

 

I wouldnt be so absolute but basically I am the same  If i chose the same values as my parents it is because the y proved the best/most constructive values available 

 

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I don't know but maybe we should add mobility to the qualities of a pond as I have seen it traveling from thread to thread. :lol::whistle:

jmccr8

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An argument with no point still remains an argument.:whistle:

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6 hours ago, Sherapy said:

Will, I am gonna try and ask this with tact...
 

Does your coping system involve pretending you are deaf, dumb, and blind?

 

 

Oh come on You just don't get people like Will or myself (possibly for different reasons )

But you should know and own, that fact,  not suggest  that Will or i have problems or difficulties we do not.

We are just VERY different people to you  (and probably to each other )

You had a tough childhood and had to evolve coping mechanism. I had a dream one filled with love, laughter, fun  and joy.

  I had parents who would have sacrificed anything for us, including their  lives.

  I dont need coping mechanisms, ye t you keep suggesting that my thoughts and behaviours are coping with something   You are doing the same thing here with Will.

Rather than recognising that he is not you, did not have your childhood, and doesn't need the same work/healing/ counselling  or mechanisms, to feel good about himself 

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5 hours ago, XenoFish said:

Looks like avoidance. 

Some people have nothing to avoid, while others, who do see avoidance (and other psychological mechanisms) where the y dont exist , recognise them from  their own minds,  and assume that others are the same. 

Some of us simply didn't have the childhoods experienced by others, and thus have none of the traumas or anger  from that time, and thus have no need for any mechanism  to deal with them. 

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32 minutes ago, Nuclear Wessel said:

I don't know of any dictionary that claims a pond to be anything but a body of still water. You are incorrect.

Are you arguing that a body of still water is still considered to be a body of still water even in the absence of water (as it states in every definition I have read)? You can't just change the meaning of a word because you can't stand being incorrect.

I gave two dictionary sources which widened the definition BUT

the point is that your definition is correct A pond IS a body of water (so is a dam) but a pond is also the structure containing the water (so is a dam) 

Finally i was  often corrected for using dictionary definitions  and told that on UM we accept common usage  and modern terminologies 

When you go to buy one of these what do you ask for ? 

 

blagdon-dragonfly-plus-pond.jpg

 

Why, how strange,  the y are called ponds  :) 

The Blagdon Dragonfly Plus ponds are a great shape which can fit into a variety of natural gardens. They are very strong, made from HDPE and quite deep which is ideal for fish. The design incorporates shelves for pond plants.

 

https://creativepumps.com.au/product/blagdon/dragonfly-plus-ponds/

OZPOND

Backed by a 30 year guarantee, the Ozpond range has something for everyone. From a small pond that holds around 120 litres up to 1000 litres for the more serious water gardener.

Fibreglass ponds are suitable for a variety of uses from formal ponds with statues and fountains, to reservoirs for sheer descents and waterwalls. Fibreglass ponds are more rigid than plastic and can be positioned either above or below ground. Note: will need to be supported if used above ground. Australia Made.

https://www.clearpond.com.au/products/all-products/preformed-ponds

Indeed its hard to find any OTHER name for modern ponds made from  plastic, fibreglass etc. 

quote

Huge range of shaped preformed poly pond, fibreglass ponds, formal ponds, rectangle ponds, square ponds, trough ponds. Great for use as Koi Ponds or Goldfish Ponds or create a native fish pond, frog pond or aquaponics pond in your garden.

https://fishandlily.com.au/collections/ponds

 

 

 

Edited by Mr Walker
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2 hours ago, Nuclear Wessel said:

I don't know of any dictionary that claims a pond to be anything but a body of still water. You are incorrect.

Are you arguing that a body of still water is still considered to be a body of still water even in the absence of water (as it states in every definition I have read)? You can't just change the meaning of a word because you can't stand being incorrect.

I am not changing it.

AS WELL AS a body of water, 

a pond is a structure (enclosure)  which may or may not contain water, as a dam is a structure which may or may not contain water, and an aquarium is a structure which may or may not contain water.

NONE  of them cease to be what they are, simply because they have no water in them  

Both definitions already exist, and are in common usage. 

I gave two sources from  specialised dictionaries, as well as many other sources  

I've presented my argument.

A fish pond is a fish pond, whether it has water in it or not (and what stared this debate was me saying my fishpond was dry and sterilised  )  

I suspect that, if it was any other poster but I , no one would argue this point.

Just a little research proves i am correct (given that definitions  go beyond common dictionary definitions,  and include modern usage)

 

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3 minutes ago, Mr Walker said:

I suspect that, if it was any other poster but I , no one would argue this point.

I wonder why that could be.

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3 hours ago, Nuclear Wessel said:

I don't know of any dictionary that claims a pond to be anything but a body of still water. You are incorrect.

Are you arguing that a body of still water is still considered to be a body of still water even in the absence of water (as it states in every definition I have read)? You can't just change the meaning of a word because you can't stand being incorrect.

He does seem to think so. What an ass I say. 

3 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

Incorrect. despite what some dictionaries say  

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3fterm=Pigeon%2bchess&amp=true

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3 hours ago, Nuclear Wessel said:

I don't know of any dictionary that claims a pond to be anything but a body of still water. You are incorrect.

Perhaps Mr. W's definition has been updated for climate change? 

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11 hours ago, Will Do said:

 

No Xeno. It seems now that you've left the "team" no one is buying much lately that you're babbling about lol.

But you keep babbling Xeno. Because now your babbling is music to my ears and I sincerely congratulate you for having the guts to do so.

 

 

Will, your input on Xeno doesn’t present the facts on the babbling as there is none on his end, you are projecting on this one.

But, you are correct he has grit and determination.

Why not ask him how he does this? 

 

Edited by Sherapy
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7 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

Oh come on You just don't get people like Will or myself (possibly for different reasons )

But you should know and own, that fact,  not suggest  that Will or i have problems or difficulties we do not.

We are just VERY different people to you  (and probably to each other )

You had a tough childhood and had to evolve coping mechanism. I had a dream one filled with love, laughter, fun  and joy.

  I had parents who would have sacrificed anything for us, including their  lives.

  I dont need coping mechanisms, ye t you keep suggesting that my thoughts and behaviours are coping with something   You are doing the same thing here with Will.

Rather than recognising that he is not you, did not have your childhood, and doesn't need the same work/healing/ counselling  or mechanisms, to feel good about himself 

MW, I see you are making this about you again. It is called triggering an insecurity in Psychology. Just my two cents, all the best.

 

I hope you and the misses are doing well. 
 


 


 

 

Edited by Sherapy
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Just now, Sherapy said:

MW, I see you are making this about you again. It is called insecurity in Psychology. Just my two cents, all the best.

 

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7 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

Some people have nothing to avoid, while others, who do see avoidance (and other psychological mechanisms) where the y dont exist , recognise them from  their own minds,  and assume that others are the same. 

Some of us simply didn't have the childhoods experienced by others, and thus have none of the traumas or anger  from that time, and thus have no need for any mechanism  to deal with them. 

Healthy ego’s recognize and own that they may use avoidance in some situations.

Just try and remember this isn’t all about you, when one thinks it is it is often triggering insecurities, just my two cents.  All the best.

Edited by Sherapy
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7 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

Some people have nothing to avoid, while others, who do see avoidance (and other psychological mechanisms) where the y dont exist , recognise them from  their own minds,  and assume that others are the same. 

Some of us simply didn't have the childhoods experienced by others, and thus have none of the traumas or anger  from that time, and thus have no need for any mechanism  to deal with them. 

 

And then there are some who've had those kinds of bad experiences too, who just simply let them go, become free of the baggage, and move on unhindered. 

 

 

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7 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

feeling sorry for people is not always pity. it can be compassion, empathy and many more positive feelings than pity 

i do wonder sometimes  if somehow your childhood robbed you of some of the more powerful positive emptions  because tome you have some strange and incomplete emotional responses (and yes this is a subjective opinion, based on how i was raised to feel about myself and other people 

Its more constructive not to engage with toxic people but sometimes one still wants to help them.  It can depend on how they  developed their toxicity and if you might be able to help them become less toxic.

lol You've followed my posts for over a decade. You know i have lived more in my life than most people do in two or three.  (Unless of course you dont believe me)

There are some things i feel no need to do, but there are hundreds which i  physically listed and achieved staring as a child and revising several times over my life as i completed each list   

 

And every day is  still packed with interesting things to do and people to meet 

 

 

For me, Compassion is caring about others by meeting their needs while preserving their independence and dignity.

For me, Empathy is the ability to walk in another’s shoes, it is understanding one’s vulnerabilities. 
 

Yes, I have followed your posts over the years, and no you have not done the living of 3 lifetimes or lived more than anyone else. 

 

I will not lie to you, it will not serve you. Being protective of a toxic person is not help, it is often a cover for trauma, often revealing itself as PTSD  one would try and shift to relational protectiveness and this is the work of a Psychoanalyst. 
 

Toxic people need firm to rigid boundaries and professional help more often then not. 

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