Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -
Jodie.Lynne

Beliefs... everyone has them

271 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Sherapy
1 hour ago, joc said:

I would go as far as to say that 98% of our 'ego', 'subjective reality tunnel', whatever one wishes to call it, is learned from birth; And that becomes the foundation of everything else...parenting, et al. It is a generational reincarnation.

Our moral judgements are cemented in from birth...our religious affiliations ditto...and of course our political ideologies.  In fact, 98% of everything we believe as adults has been instilled into our brains from birth by those who raised us.   It is difficult to separate those ideological birth straps from our own belief.  And, I think that only a very small percentage of people on the planet understand that they didn't choose what they believe.. 

Just my thoughts...gotta go clean out the garage now! :)

That is exactly right, It is the childhood. I truly wanted to use great care in what I said because of the sensitivity of the subject and decided to leave it be, it actually takes a healthy ego to overcome this level of abuse and the truth is not many have the time or resources to go through the journey of healing that it takes. Reality gets in the way. Making a living, raising children, any kind of therapy has been so stigmatized in our culture, and often men won’t go. etc.etc. Everyone finds a way to cope not all ways are healthy though, this is the caveat. 
A narcissist most likely had a tyrannical parent and no ego at all is most likely severe childhood abuse, often sexual. 
I do not want to come off like a know it all, as this is not my intention and I am not anyone’s therapist.

But, I am one such child who had the great fortune of getting the help due to the great judgement of my grandmother and I have always considered the money I have spent is the best money I have ever spent, I invested in my self. It took me 1 year, 5 days a week in Psychoanalysis to rebuild a healthy ego, but I had the money and the flexibility of owning my own business to go and the determination to get it done. Then, I went from there. A person can overcome anything with the right help, in this particular case, Psychoanalysis is the place to start, it literally rebuilds the ego, Freud wasn’t right about it all but, on this he left a gift to the world. I am truly living proof of this. 

And, unfortunately, not that many people do psychoanalysis these days, which is a shame. And, it isn’t something you can “just do yourself” with no guidance or support or feedback or questions and lastly, especially, if one refuses any kind of help. 
 

The best we can do in this case is share the information, be an example and then leave them be in non judgement. 
 

I also work for a Neurologist/Psychiatrist, she is one of the few left in this field the education is extensive. 
 

 I have been in therapy as recommended for me most of my adult life and the majority of my friends are Psychologists (of all kinds). 
 

Thank you for your post. Truly. 
 

I also advocate against corporal punishment and child abuse, as everyone on here knows, it is the worst possible way to raise a child. The damage is horrendous. 
 

Just my two cents. Not gospel, anyone can take it or leave it. 

Edited by Sherapy
  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Xeno-Fish
1 hour ago, joc said:

our 'ego', 'subjective reality tunnel', whatever one wishes to call it

Ego is our sense of self. A reality tunnel is the beliefs through which we view the world around us. Reality tunnels and mindset are basically the same thing. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sherapy
33 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Ego is our sense of self. A reality tunnel is the beliefs through which we view the world around us. Reality tunnels and mindset are basically the same thing. 

 

33 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Ego is our sense of self. A reality tunnel is the beliefs through which we view the world around us. Reality tunnels and mindset are basically the same thing. 

Reality tunnel is a coping style at best. Just my two cents. Take it or leave it, of course. 

Edited by Sherapy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Will Do
24 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

Reality tunnel is a coping style at best. 

 

Same thing with blaming a choice to believe something on someone else, like one's parents.

But when it comes to those things in life that must be chosen, even if the choice is to make no choice, there's no escape from being solely responsible for them.

In the long run, blaming your choices on mom and dad or anyone else for that matter not even God, won't work.

Nobody's responsible for what you decide to believe but you. 

 

 

Edited by Will Do
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Xeno-Fish
35 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

 

Reality tunnel is a coping style at best. Just my two cents. Take it or leave it, of course. 

A realty tunnel is just the way you see the world. If you think long enough about finding quarters, then all perception will be focused on finding them. If you think people hate you, then all perception will be focusing on validating that belief. We you're coping with something, you are basically dealing with past issues. That what I take from it.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sherapy
14 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

A realty tunnel is just the way you see the world. If you think long enough about finding quarters, then all perception will be focused on finding them. If you think people hate you, then all perception will be focusing on validating that belief. We you're coping with something, you are basically dealing with past issues. That what I take from it.

Yes, I would add to with this:

one is “coping” the best they can with their childhood. Just my two cents.

Fact: There is a huge difference between healing and coping.

 

Edited by Sherapy
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sherapy
35 minutes ago, Will Do said:

 

Same thing with blaming a choice to believe something on someone else, like one's parents.

But when it comes to those things in life that must be chosen, even if the choice is to make no choice, there's no escape from being solely responsible for them.

In the long run, blaming your choices on mom and dad or anyone else for that matter not even God, won't work.

Nobody's responsible for what you decide to believe but you. 

 

 

See my post to Xeno. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Will Do
33 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

Fact: There is a huge difference between healing and coping.

 

Why so negative?

Either way, it'll be in accordance with what a person chooses.

But there's also a third choice. 

Choosing not to cope at all and gather up what works, leave what doesn't behind, and decide to advance. Along with deciding it isn't about healing something that's supposedly sick, but rather that there is something healthy that needs to grow. 

 

 

Edited by Will Do
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Xeno-Fish
35 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

Fact: There is a huge difference between healing and coping.

Very true. Some people need a belief in a higher power to do it, they need that kind of hope. Personally though, I'm not fond of the preachy ones. 

I took up a form of generalized agnosticism (skepticism about everything), I neither fully believe or deny anything as all is subject to change. Idontknowtheism :lol:

The reason I did this is due to the fact that I don't know everything, most of the stuff I do know is subject to change, and I'm not in competition with anyone for a big brain award. 

Edited by XenoFish
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jmccr8
1 hour ago, Will Do said:

Same thing with blaming a choice to believe something on someone else, like one's parents.

Hi Will

In many of the discussions that go on itis part of the forum are not about blaming anyone as some of us are just interested in how things develop and what caused change in someone's life. My mom was Catholic and my da Catholic with a Presbyterian stomach and neither of them talked about god or the church at home really they left it to the schools and churches to do the preaching so they never turned me to or away from god/religion the churches and schools was what made me see the hypocrisy. I don't have a problem with people having a personal faith but do if they are self-righteous dictators that try to legislate their beliefs on others as absolute.

jmccr8

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jmccr8
1 hour ago, Will Do said:

Why so negative?

Hi Will

Where did you see negativity? Coping is just putting up with or hiding from a problem or it's roots, healing is dealing with and advancing oneself to do better to let go of something or things that hold you back.

jmccr8

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Will Do
1 minute ago, jmccr8 said:

I don't have a problem with people having a personal faith but do if they are self-righteous dictators that try to legislate their beliefs on others as absolute.

 

We don't live in Arabia do we?

But lately, I've seen a lot of government orders making it illegal to gather at a church while allowing protesters to gather in the hundreds.

Do you think there isn't bias going on there?

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jmccr8
3 minutes ago, Will Do said:

 

We don't live in Arabia do we?

But lately, I've seen a lot of government orders making it illegal to gather at a church while allowing protesters to gather in the hundreds.

Do you think there isn't bias going on there?

 

 

Hi Will

Either you have had too much coffee or not enough the orders are not because of the religion it is because of covid and as of yet I haven't heard of mass healings by god at the churches so yes they like every business must enforce social distancing.

jmccr8

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Will Do
1 minute ago, jmccr8 said:

Hi Will

Where did you see negativity? Coping is just putting up with or hiding from a problem or it's roots, healing is dealing with and advancing oneself to do better to let go of something or things that hold you back.

jmccr8

 

Instead of allowing yourself to be distracted by someone else's problems why cope with it when you can simply let it go and make your own way?

Coping and healing is negative when it holds back progress.

Sometimes when I thought I had something that needed to be healed it turned out instead that something just needed to be born.

Something old and bad just needed to be displaced by something new and good.

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Will Do
6 minutes ago, jmccr8 said:

Hi Will

Either you have had too much coffee or not enough the orders are not because of the religion it is because of covid and as of yet I haven't heard of mass healings by god at the churches so yes they like every business must enforce social distancing.

jmccr8

 

But not protests? Alrighty then

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jmccr8
2 minutes ago, Will Do said:

Instead of allowing yourself to be distracted by someone else's problems why cope with it when you can simply let it go and make your own way?

Hi Will

What are you on about I am not distracted by anyone else's problem.

4 minutes ago, Will Do said:

Coping and healing is negative when it holds back progress.

Hmmm oookay.:huh:

Nurse: Dr. Will the patient has been shot what should we do?

Dr. Will: Let him bleed out healing him is useless if he wants progress.

9 minutes ago, Will Do said:

Sometimes when I thought I had something that needed to be healed it turned out instead that something just needed to be born.

Good for you will not sure that works for everyone.

9 minutes ago, Will Do said:

Something old and bad just needed to be displaced by something new and good.

You can't put your new car in the garage if you don't take care of the old one that is sitting in it now or if you fix the old car properly you likely don't need a new one.

jmccr8

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jmccr8
11 minutes ago, Will Do said:

 

But not protests? Alrighty then

 

 

Hi Will 

Not sure about where you are but here protest organizers and protesters are being fined up to 100 thousand so what's your point? We have to live according to the conditions we are in being a crybaby about it doesn't help.

jmccr8

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Will Do
5 minutes ago, jmccr8 said:

Hi Will 

Not sure about where you are but here protest organizers and protesters are being fined up to 100 thousand so what's your point? We have to live according to the conditions we are in being a crybaby about it doesn't help.

jmccr8

 

I hope you have a Merry Christmas Jay.

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jmccr8
Just now, Will Do said:

 

I hope you have a Merry Christmas Jay.

 

 

Hi Will

Thanks you too.:tu:

jmccr8

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
joc
4 hours ago, Sherapy said:

That is exactly right, It is the childhood

I call it...the birth box.  Not everything in our birth box is detrimental but it was eye-opening for me when I realized how far back in our genealogical ancestry this actually goes. 

Especially the religious beliefs. And our political beliefs...and most importantly I think...our parenting beliefs. You and I both stepped away from that one with vigor. I never sought out professional counseling. I was able to climb out of my birth box and walk away from it on my own.  That has been a difficult journey. But a journey I will never regret undertaking.

 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sherapy
1 hour ago, joc said:

I call it...the birth box.  Not everything in our birth box is detrimental but it was eye-opening for me when I realized how far back in our genealogical ancestry this actually goes. 

Especially the religious beliefs. And our political beliefs...and most importantly I think...our parenting beliefs. You and I both stepped away from that one with vigor. I never sought out professional counseling. I was able to climb out of my birth box and walk away from it on my own.  That has been a difficult journey. But a journey I will never regret undertaking.

 

Same for me, I truly appreciate your responses. I have ended the cycle of abuse in my family. It has not been easy, but damn worth it. 
 

Good job, Joc. 

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sherapy
3 hours ago, Will Do said:

 

Why so negative?

Either way, it'll be in accordance with what a person chooses.

But there's also a third choice. 

Choosing not to cope at all and gather up what works, leave what doesn't behind, and decide to advance. Along with deciding it isn't about healing something that's supposedly sick, but rather that there is something healthy that needs to grow. 

 

 

Your projecting your own triggers. I say do what serves you. There are many ways to cope. And, some prefer to leave things be and I get that and it is okay. 
 

But coping and healing are not the same thing, just to be clear. Take it or leave it. 

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sherapy
2 hours ago, jmccr8 said:

Hi Will

Where did you see negativity? Coping is just putting up with or hiding from a problem or it's roots, healing is dealing with and advancing oneself to do better to let go of something or things that hold you back.

jmccr8

Thank you Jay, spot on, and for always having my back on UM. 
 

Next lifetime...

Edited by Sherapy
  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sherapy
1 hour ago, joc said:

I call it...the birth box.  Not everything in our birth box is detrimental but it was eye-opening for me when I realized how far back in our genealogical ancestry this actually goes. 

Especially the religious beliefs. And our political beliefs...and most importantly I think...our parenting beliefs. You and I both stepped away from that one with vigor. I never sought out professional counseling. I was able to climb out of my birth box and walk away from it on my own.  That has been a difficult journey. But a journey I will never regret undertaking.

 

One last thing, I stand corrected: one can do their own healing. Thanks for the feedback. 

Edited by Sherapy
  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sherapy
2 hours ago, jmccr8 said:

Hi Will

Either you have had too much coffee or not enough the orders are not because of the religion it is because of covid and as of yet I haven't heard of mass healings by god at the churches so yes they like every business must enforce social distancing.

jmccr8

Exactly, it’s about a pandemic, not “just” Will.  I say this with compassion too. 

Edited by Sherapy
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.