WW2 enigma machine found in Baltic Sea

[Eldorado]

German divers searching the Baltic Sea for discarded fishing nets have stumbled upon a rare Enigma cipher machine used by the Nazi military during World War Two which they believe was thrown overboard from a scuttled submarine.

Thinking they had discovered a typewriter entangled in a net on the seabed of Gelting Bay, underwater archaeologist Florian Huber quickly realised the historical significance of the find.

Full report at Reuters: Link

[Peterk505]

Wow! It looks like it'll need a lot of restoration though...

[Tom1200]

Hollywood has this covered.  It's the next epic starring Will Smith as Ian Fleming, leading a crack team of American exiles deep into Nazi Europe to fight in the war¹.  They single-handedly break into "Nazi Headquarters, Berlin" to steal this Enigma and disrupt German communications.  It turns out "Bletchley Park, England"² is just a smokescreen - the real action takes place at "Secret FBI base, London" where Johnny Depp and Kevin Spacey China Anne McClain and Zendaya have built their own Colossus, actually called Collosus, out of scraps and old transistor radios.

Meanwhile our US ex-pat Commandos have uncovered a secret plot by "High ranking Nazi members" to assassinate Hitler and replace him with someone even more hideous, who would wipe out all civilisation across the whole world³.  Determined to stop this they single-handedly break into "Wolf's Nest, Bavaria" to warn Adolf (played by Tom Selleck).  But Hitler is crazy and won't listen and they unfortunately have to kill him.  So Charlie Chaplin Morgan Freeman steps in and pretends to be Der Fuhrer, leading to all sorts of shenanigans.  

Meanwhile a second squad of US Marines are being led by Joe Biden's dad (played superbly by The Rock) deep into "Communist Headquarters, Moscow" to take out Stalin (Joe Pasquale⁴) and head-off the Communist threat forever.  But they are betrayed by an oily, depraved, back-stabbing Fred Tramp⁵ (Gary Oldman) and captured.  After bravely resisting every possible torture they are about to be executed when Pearl Harbour happens, the Yanks join the war, and the squad is released.  They are then employed to retrain the Soviet army.  At "Secret Red Army Base, near Moscow" they single-handedly whip the snivelling, frost-bitten conscripts into a disciplined, battle-ready army.  This squad also has a comedy techie geek, William Henry Gates II (Elon Musk), who redesigns all the Soviet weapons and tanks, replacing wooden parts with iron.

Meanwhile a third squad⁶ have smuggled the Enigma back to "Britain, England", having thrown a fake Enigma into the "Baltic Ocean, Europe" to throw the pursuing Nazis off their trail.  They plug the Enigma into Collosus which immediately starts decoding intercepted German messages, reading them out in English instead.  

Closing scene - the Americans have regrouped in "Buckingham Castle, London" before flying back to the USA.  Winston Churchill (Rupert Grint) gives a rousing speech, full of passion and drama, about how the war was not yet over but their achievements have shortened it by decades.  The Queen, "Queen Elizabeth Two" (Amber Heard), gives everyone VCs, before dragging Ian Fleming off for a private consultation.  Will Smith makes a humorous quip about "da queen gettin' fresh with da prince" and the film ends with the Star Spangled Banner.

 

¹ This is before Pearl Harbour.  We know this because Japanese-American soldier Suzuki Wong (Jussie Smollett) keeps saying stuff like "I hope America and Japan never go to war but my loyalty is always with the US of A".

² The real Bletchley Park is a dump, so most scenes were filmed at Hogwarts instead.

³ i.e. America

⁴ I told you to get Joe PESCI.

⁵ That's Tramp.  With an 'a', not a 'u'.  

⁶ or maybe the first lot - I've completely lost track