Self, and others perception of that self.

[Hankenhunter]

Do you welcome, and accept constructive criticism with gratitude for the possibility of change for the better? Do you allow your ego full control and aggressively refuse constructive criticism? Some where in the middle? What influences made you arrive at this mindset, at this time? Can you do anything about this to improve yourself, or are you perfect just the way you are? (What a straight line)

Thoughts welcome, proclamations, not so much. You'd only be fooling yourself.

Not a lot of posts expected. Understandable.

Introspection is appreciated

 

Edited March 30, 2021 by Hankenhunter

[+ouija ouija]

The crucial word here is constructive! Also, it's important to know what the motives are behind the criticism. Often, criticism is more about the one doing the criticising . . . . . . .

[Hankenhunter]

11 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

The crucial word here is constructive! Also, it's important to know what the motives are behind the criticism. Often, criticism is more about the one doing the criticising . . . . . . .

Well said, and appreciated. First post changed to reflect this. Thank you.

[Grim Reaper 6]

1 hour ago, Hankenhunter said:

Do you welcome, and accept constructive criticism with gratitude for the possibility of change for the better? Do you allow your ego full control and aggressively refuse constructive criticism? Some where in the middle? What influences made you arrive at this mindset, at this time? Can you do anything about this to improve yourself, or are you perfect just the way you are? (What a straight line)

Thoughts welcome, proclamations, not so much. You'd only be fooling yourself.

Not a lot of posts expected. Understandable.

Introspection is appreciated

 

In common practice criticism is not well excepted by people in general whether it is constructive or otherwise. Most people can not keep their Ego in check, have an inflated view of self, and don't like anything that effects those views. So with that said, most people involved face to face will not offer criticism to another person because of the reaction of others to being criticized. Personally I don't mind criticism, and when criticized I will reflect on the comments made, it doesn't embarrass me because I well no I have flaws that are obvious. 

I think I can say with little doubt that all humans are flawed, the only difference being that some realize it and are working to correct their flaws while others are to absorbed in self to see who and what they really are. It's very refreshing to meet and converse with someone who isn't absorbed by self and who has their Ego in check. They are people who are a joy to be around, along with their positive out look. This is the real difference between self absorption and taking life at face value flaws and all. 

[+ouija ouija]

I don't mind constructive criticism. It might sting a bit but if it's true I appreciate it. Perhaps it depends who is doing the criticising and how they present it. Done in a sneering way in front of a group of friends wouldn't go down well! 

[Hankenhunter]

9 hours ago, Manwon Lender said:

In common practice criticism is not well excepted by people in general whether it is constructive or otherwise. Most people can not keep their Ego in check, have an inflated view of self, and don't like anything that effects those views. So with that said, most people involved face to face will not offer criticism to another person because of the reaction of others to being criticized. Personally I don't mind criticism, and when criticized I will reflect on the comments made, it doesn't embarrass me because I well no I have flaws that are obvious. 

I think I can say with little doubt that all humans are flawed, the only difference being that some realize it and are working to correct their flaws while others are to absorbed in self to see who and what they really are. It's very refreshing to meet and converse with someone who isn't absorbed by self and who has their Ego in check. They are people who are a joy to be around, along with their positive out look. This is the real difference between self absorption and taking life at face value flaws and all. 

Lord knows I've been guilty of ego talk on this forum. I'm trying though. Ego is one tough cookie. You helped me.

Thanks

[Grim Reaper 6]

2 minutes ago, Hankenhunter said:

Lord knows I've been guilty of ego talk on this forum. I'm trying though. Ego is one tough cookie. You helped me.

Thanks

Keeping our Egos in check is the key to Spirituality. We are never punished for becoming angery, we are punished by our anger itself.

Peace

[jmccr8]

3 hours ago, Manwon Lender said:

Keeping our Egos in check is the key to Spirituality. We are never punished for becoming angery, we are punished by our anger itself.

Peace

Hi Manwon

Personally I think anger exists for a reason and how it is used is the problem for some. If someone says you can't do that to me without giving why other than a personal because I said so or I don't think you can and focus my anger into a motivation to do it anyway as everything is a learning experience. Some things I have learnt I cannot use because of the conflict incurred during the process but from my mistakes have been able to help others navigate a positive return. I don't live by my anger and/or disapproval of some things I just don't do them because it is an individual choice and try to understand the choices of others.

jmccr8

[Grim Reaper 6]

46 minutes ago, jmccr8 said:

Hi Manwon

Personally I think anger exists for a reason and how it is used is the problem for some. If someone says you can't do that to me without giving why other than a personal because I said so or I don't think you can and focus my anger into a motivation to do it anyway as everything is a learning experience. Some things I have learnt I cannot use because of the conflict incurred during the process but from my mistakes have been able to help others navigate a positive return. I don't live by my anger and/or disapproval of some things I just don't do them because it is an individual choice and try to understand the choices of others.

jmccr8

I totally agree anger does exist for a reason, it teaches us how confront it and how not to allow it to effect us. You see in most cases anger is a punishment we give to ourselves for the mistakes of another or for something beyond our control. This is what I try to live by, the weak and morally bankrupt seek revenge, the strong choose to forgive, and the intelligent choose to ignore. 

Here is something I found that I refer to when my anger gets the best of me and I need a helping hand.

Five Ways to End Anger 

Although Sutras discuss solutions to anger in great detail (see three full sutras below), the recommendations of the Buddha can be thought of as these five, led by mindfulness, which is chief among all anger-management solutions:

• meditate mindfully in the present moment, observing anger but not participating in it (Even psychotherapists use mindfulness to help patients manage anger.)
• be attentive to the kindness of others, and overlook their unkindness
• practice metta kindness and compassion for all beings, putting your enemies first in your meditations
• use wisdom (and patience, a form of wisdom): analyze anger meditatively, understand its cause and effect; approach problems with patience — with time, anger fades
• “substitution” method: substitute something positive for the negative. In other words, if a person’s action angers you, analyze the person to find the positives you can focus on. (For example, a police chief angers a community because of a “no leeway” rule on traffic tickets; but if you analyze the police chief you see that your community has the lowest crime rate in the area.) In Tantric practice, substitution becomes “conversion” where afflictive emotions are converted into positive action and practice.   

 

           Khenpo Konchog Gyaltsen Rinpoche mentioned:

          "Some people feel patience is showing weakness or pessimism.
           But, actually, patience shows the strength and clarity of mind, which are based on wisdom and compassion.
           Without proper wisdom and compassion, one cannot practice patience.

    

            Peace

 

 

 

Edited March 31, 2021 by Manwon Lender

[jmccr8]

5 minutes ago, Manwon Lender said:

I totally agree anger does exist for a reason, it teaches us how confront it and how not to allow it to effect us. You see in most cases anger is a punishment we give to ourselves for the mistakes of another or for something beyond our control. This is what I try to live by, the weak and morally bankrupt seek revenge, the strong choose to forgive, and the intelligent choose to ignore. 

Here is something I found that I refer to when my anger gets the best of me and need a helping hand.

Hi Manwon

I do not get angry at individuals and give them the same compassion that I do to myself but am known for taking on systems my dad raised me not to pick on the little guy and I thought the government was about the right size and the odds are thousands to one and I have had them at a Mexican standoff for a couple of decades now.

When I fell off a building I spent 18 years fighting to get the back surgery that fixed it and it cost a lot of lost income and had to deal with people that would be happy if I just shut up and went on the dole as handicapped. Sorry but that didn't look like the future I had in mind and invested time and money into learning what I know because that is what I love to do so yes I got angry at the perception that I could be an invalid or us that anger to drive me to prove them wrong so I do not see a negative action/reaction in the manner I focused my anger.

jmccr8

[Grim Reaper 6]

10 minutes ago, jmccr8 said:

Hi Manwon

I do not get angry at individuals and give them the same compassion that I do to myself but am known for taking on systems my dad raised me not to pick on the little guy and I thought the government was about the right size and the odds are thousands to one and I have had them at a Mexican standoff for a couple of decades now.

When I fell off a building I spent 18 years fighting to get the back surgery that fixed it and it cost a lot of lost income and had to deal with people that would be happy if I just shut up and went on the dole as handicapped. Sorry but that didn't look like the future I had in mind and invested time and money into learning what I know because that is what I love to do so yes I got angry at the perception that I could be an invalid or us that anger to drive me to prove them wrong so I do not see a negative action/reaction in the manner I focused my anger.

jmccr8

I think you have a very good outlook of life in general, and in the case of your injury I believe that is the best way to come back. I know how terrible back injuries can be, I have had major surgery on my L-3, L-4 and L-5 do to an injury while in the Military, even after the surgery I still suffer from severe pain, and I have permanent nerve damage. But, life go's on and like you I will never give up, I may need another surgery in the near future. But, at least I am compensated by the Veterans Administration, when I retired from the Army they gave me 100% disability. The only thing I was angry about, is the fact that do my injury I could not serve my country for more than 23 years.

Take care and thank you for sharing, I enjoy our conversations very much.

[jmccr8]

1 hour ago, Manwon Lender said:

I think you have a very good outlook of life in general, and in the case of your injury I believe that is the best way to come back. I know how terrible back injuries can be, I have had major surgery on my L-3, L-4 and L-5 do to an injury while in the Military, even after the surgery I still suffer from severe pain, and I have permanent nerve damage. But, life go's on and like you I will never give up, I may need another surgery in the near future. But, at least I am compensated by the Veterans Administration, when I retired from the Army they gave me 100% disability. The only thing I was angry about, is the fact that do my injury I could not serve my country for more than 23 years.

Take care and thank you for sharing, I enjoy our conversations very much.

Hi Manwon

Thank you for the kind words and I enjoy your participation as well.

jmccr8