The Ark of the Covenant

[Duke Wellington]

7 hours ago, Tom1200 said:

Maybe, maybe not.  What if Docy is on to something new?¹  Perhaps related to a mysterious island, long perished beneath the waves, whose name was forgotten many centuries ago?⁴

Of course 'covendent' is Old Irish for 'death from heaven',² adding further credence to the theory that the Irish are descended from the lost tribe of Dan⁴, and that the Ark is kept under lock and key at St. James's Gate, Dublin³.

Are you aware that there is a printing error in KJV Exodus 24 12?²  "And the Lord said unto Moses, Come up to me into the mount, and be there: and I will give thee tables of stone..." is actually (in the original Na'vi) "... I will give three tables..."⁴  But later Moses only smashes two, with ten laws on them.  What happened to the third stone with its five rules?⁴

Well, according to one theory³, that stone commanded Moses to build the pyramids⁴ as gigantic radio microwave amplifiers⁴ to receive more messages from God⁴ and pump water to irrigate the Nile⁴.  It was so controversial that it had to be hidden and now the Pope has it in a secret archive in the Vatican next to the sixty other Fatima predictions².  It was found in Jerusalem by Templar Knights of the ancient order of Browndan³, and carried back to Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland.  (Scotland at the time was further south², and almost civilised¹.)  Then, as Scotland turned Scottish, they tried to smash it to protect it from the heathens, but couldn't so they sent it to Rome instead³.

I never said it was a good theory.

(Disclaimer: Some of the details above may not be 100% accurate.  I can't check the facts because, for some dastardly reason, Wikipedia appears to have wiped the relevant pages.)

¹ Unlikely.      ² Not actually true.      ³ Completely made up for this post.      ⁴ Total nonsense.

 

Come on man, dont get your history from YouTube videos lmao.

[Tom1200]

2 hours ago, acute said:

I live in Birmingham, so my only access to the sea is via the medium of television.  But if you could drop the Ark into Bartley Reservoir, that would be great, thanks. 

And how exactly am I supposed to get a 300 x 50 x 30 cubits³ wooden monstrosity that far inland, complete with two or maybe seven of every animal known to science?

You bought it - it's your problem now.  I'll leave it tied to the pier at Weston-super-Mare, so jump in your Austin Metro and scoot off down the M5.  And I wouldn't leave it too long - the Blue Whales were too big for the hold so I left them on the deck with a hose.  I'd give 'em three, maybe four hours max.

[acute]

@Tom1200

I've cancelled the cheque.

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by acute
.....and it's an Austin ALLEGRO!

[docyabut2]

I still believe it was this drum  that Tudor Parfitt  found

 

https://www.ctsryan.com/ark-of-the-covenant-found-in-africa-the-stories-behind-the-story/

Edited May 6, 2021 by docyabut2

[docyabut2]

 Moses made the frist ark of the convendent, out of a tree,he said it was from the thunder of the mountain, a sound o from a drum,

 If it was the Ark of the Covenant that Moses made and put the pair of tablets into in Deuteronomy 10:5, when was the Ark made - before he went up to meet with the Lord on the mountain OR after he came back down? 3) Who made the Ark of the Covenant - Bezalel or Moses?

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by docyabut2

[Tatetopa]

11 hours ago, Tom1200 said:

And how exactly am I supposed to get a 300 x 50 x 30 cubits³ wooden monstrosity

Wrong ark.  The ark of the covenant was supposed to hold the tablets with the 10 commandments.  You know a la'  Raiders of the Lost Ark?

[+DieChecker]

On 5/4/2021 at 6:20 PM, Hugh Mungus said:

There is a Christian group in modern day Ethiopia that claim to still have the Ark, which was taken by Queen Sheba (or her descendants??) back to Ethiopia for protection.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ark_of_the_Covenant#:~:text=The Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church,%2C or Tabot%2C in Axum.&text=It narrates how the real,in the Temple in Jerusalem.

You can even go to the place where it is claimed to be, but if you try and get in I'm sure the armed guards would have something to say about it.

If the Ark of the Covenant still exists, its probably there, or in some billionaires collection.

[Tom1200]

1 hour ago, Tatetopa said:

Wrong ark.  The ark of the covenant was supposed to hold the tablets with the 10 commandments.  You know a la'  Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Please DO keep up!  #23: Acute said he was in the market for a boat big enough to store his ego, and it just so happened I had one spare.  But it can't have been right for him 'cos the cheque bounced.  It's on a beach in Somerset if you'd like to make me an offer?  I've also got documentation showing I own the Arc de Triomphe, if you're looking for a nice flat in Paris from which to view the regular rioting.  And Joan of Arc's sword (a wooden one she used in training), which is yours for a fiver.

Anyway, this thread's about the Ark of the Convendent, which Docy hasn't quite clarified but presumably is very different from the Ark of the Covenant.  See?  It's even in a different colour font.  I appreciate this discussion has turned very high-brow, but with a forehead like yours I'd have thought you'd be able to keep up.

Golly gosh - that previous sentence...  Change of subject: what tense(s?) is that last bit written in?  Genuine question, nothing to do with poking fun at the OP.  Anyone?

[+DieChecker]

On 5/5/2021 at 9:12 AM, jadamz said:

You guys are hilarious! i want to be a member of a Forum like this.

Ark of the Covendent.

Lucifer.

What about it?

 

Sooooo good

 

 

Ah the Ark of the Covendent is where they kept the holy pillows and throw blankets. Moses was getting old you know. 

[+DieChecker]

14 hours ago, Tom1200 said:

And how exactly am I supposed to get a 300 x 50 x 30 cubits³ wooden monstrosity that far inland, complete with two or maybe seven of every animal known to science?

Go into your Minecraft world variables and set a cubit equal to a centimeter. It should fit fine after that.

[Golden Duck]

16 hours ago, Tom1200 said:

And how exactly am I supposed to get a 300 x 50 x 30 cubits³ wooden monstrosity that far inland, complete with two or maybe seven of every animal known to science?

Can't you flat pack it? @acute can assemble it with a bottle opener.

[Windowpane]

26 minutes ago, Golden Duck said:

Can't you flat pack it? @acute can assemble it with a bottle opener.

Does this mean that you can get Arks - Noah and Covenant - from Ikea ... ?

[Tatetopa]

8 hours ago, Tom1200 said:

Anyway, this thread's about the Ark of the Convendent, which Docy hasn't quite clarified but presumably is very different from the Ark of the Covenant.  See?  It's even in a different colour font.  I appreciate this discussion has turned very high-brow, but with a forehead like yours I'd have thought you'd be able to keep up.

Thanks for helping me get back on track.  I confess I was not giving it my best effort, I even missed the color coding. 

[Myles]

23 hours ago, Tom1200 said:

And how exactly am I supposed to get a 300 x 50 x 30 cubits³ wooden monstrosity that far inland, complete with two or maybe seven of every animal known to science?

You bought it - it's your problem now.  I'll leave it tied to the pier at Weston-super-Mare, so jump in your Austin Metro and scoot off down the M5.  And I wouldn't leave it too long - the Blue Whales were too big for the hold so I left them on the deck with a hose.  I'd give 'em three, maybe four hours max.

There is an actual size version in Kentucky.

 

https://arkencounter.com/

[Tom1200]

1 hour ago, Myles said:

There is an actual size version in Kentucky.  https://arkencounter.com/

Gosh - thanks for that.  It looks exactly like the one me and my three sons built last weekend.   You know - just in case.  Except ours is painted fluorescent orange, so we won't get it mixed up with all the neighbours' Arks.

Just been checking out their website.  I'm not going to say they're totally cuckoo, but... damn.

• "Did you know there are over 200 myths from all over the world about a major Flood? If a worldwide Flood never happened, then why are there so many stories about it?"  Err - the clue's in the word 'myths'. 
• "Creationists love science!"
• "Meet Ebenezer, our stunning full-size Allosaurus. He’s a testament to the reality of the global Flood of Noah’s day and the truth of God’s Word." 
• "We can see that dinosaurs still existed during the time of Noah’s Flood because we find dinosaur fossils today that were formed when conditions were right during the global Flood."
• "Creationists love science!"  (That one's worth repeating.)
• "We even find huge numbers of fossils of sea creatures in the layers, including on what are now the tops of mountains all over the world as further indication of a global catastrophe when the ocean waters totally flooded over the continents."

They've even got a section named "Education"!

 

[+Desertrat56]

44 minutes ago, Tom1200 said:

Gosh - thanks for that.  It looks exactly like the one me and my three sons built last weekend.   You know - just in case.  Except ours is painted fluorescent orange, so we won't get it mixed up with all the neighbours' Arks.

Just been checking out their website.  I'm not going to say they're totally cuckoo, but... damn.

• "Did you know there are over 200 myths from all over the world about a major Flood? If a worldwide Flood never happened, then why are there so many stories about it?"  Err - the clue's in the word 'myths'. 
• "Creationists love science!"
• "Meet Ebenezer, our stunning full-size Allosaurus. He’s a testament to the reality of the global Flood of Noah’s day and the truth of God’s Word." 
• "We can see that dinosaurs still existed during the time of Noah’s Flood because we find dinosaur fossils today that were formed when conditions were right during the global Flood."
• "Creationists love science!"  (That one's worth repeating.)
• "We even find huge numbers of fossils of sea creatures in the layers, including on what are now the tops of mountains all over the world as further indication of a global catastrophe when the ocean waters totally flooded over the continents."

They've even got a section named "Education"!

 

There  is a video a 12 year old girl made about this place, she called it anti-science.   They let her film even though she was talking about anti-science the whole time and a person complained but they decided they wanted the press even if it was bad press.  The owner of it also did a really crazy debate with Bill Nye.   They don't care what kind of publicity they get as long as it is free, and it costs over 50.00 to tour the place.

Significant tax breaks from city, county and state!  I forgot about that.

Edited May 7, 2021 by Desertrat56

[Tatetopa]

47 minutes ago, Tom1200 said:

Gosh - thanks for that.  It looks exactly like the one me and my three sons built last weekend.

Did you use real shittim wood or a fiberglass substitute?   The real stuff is so expensive these days.  Maybe we shouldn't have cut down all those trees.

[Sir Wearer of Hats]

5 hours ago, Tom1200 said:

Gosh - thanks for that.  It looks exactly like the one me and my three sons built last weekend.   You know - just in case.  Except ours is painted fluorescent orange, so we won't get it mixed up with all the neighbours' Arks.

Just been checking out their website.  I'm not going to say they're totally cuckoo, but... damn.

• "Did you know there are over 200 myths from all over the world about a major Flood? If a worldwide Flood never happened, then why are there so many stories about it?"  Err - the clue's in the word 'myths'. 
• "Creationists love science!"
• "Meet Ebenezer, our stunning full-size Allosaurus. He’s a testament to the reality of the global Flood of Noah’s day and the truth of God’s Word." 
• "We can see that dinosaurs still existed during the time of Noah’s Flood because we find dinosaur fossils today that were formed when conditions were right during the global Flood."
• "Creationists love science!"  (That one's worth repeating.)
• "We even find huge numbers of fossils of sea creatures in the layers, including on what are now the tops of mountains all over the world as further indication of a global catastrophe when the ocean waters totally flooded over the continents."

They've even got a section named "Education"!

 

Is that the monstrosity that Ken Hamm inflicted upon the world? If so, I apologise for him as an Australian.

[Tatetopa]

3 hours ago, Sir Wearer of Hats said:

Is that the monstrosity that Ken Hamm inflicted upon the world? If so, I apologise for him as an Australian.

Its Ok.  We needed him to balance the wingnuts on the West Coast. 

[Piney]

7 hours ago, Sir Wearer of Hats said:

Is that the monstrosity that Ken Hamm inflicted upon the world? If so, I apologise for him as an Australian.

Every Aussie I know apologises for him......Please! Just take him back! 

[Sir Wearer of Hats]

6 minutes ago, Piney said:

Every Aussie I know apologises for him......Please! Just take him back! 

No. 
Scotty From Marketing our wonderful Prime Minister has closed the borders. 

[Piney]

8 minutes ago, Sir Wearer of Hats said:

No. 
Scotty From Marketing our wonderful Prime Minister has closed the borders. 

[Tom1200]

12 hours ago, Tatetopa said:

Did you use real shittim wood or a fiberglass substitute?   The real stuff is so expensive these days.  Maybe we shouldn't have cut down all those trees.

Couldn't get the wood, so we opted for breeze block.  With a 6" waterproof concrete render.  It's still drying, so I hope the Flood holds off a few more weeks.

We're not sure how to power the lights in the holds.  My heart says we should go eco-friendly with solar power, but my head says reliability, so nuclear.  Does anyone have a spare reactor lying around?  (Just to borrow - you can have it back when we're done.)  Also - I've accidentally ended up with two male dodos, so if anyone out there has the females can we arrange a swap?  

[Piney]

41 minutes ago, Tom1200 said:

I've accidentally ended up with two male dodos, so if anyone out there has the females can we arrange a swap?  

If you accept one hedgehog sot and his Austin Allegro with her. .......I'll also throw in a spare tyre. 

[+ouija ouija]

24 minutes ago, Piney said:

If you accept one hedgehog sot and his Austin Allegro with her. .......I'll also throw in a spare tyre. 

Do arks have tyres?