Homeless, broken, empty

[docyabut2]

On ‎5‎/‎30‎/‎2021 at 12:34 PM, Bendy Demon said:

Sadly there are a lot of people who work paycheck-to-paycheck struggling to just to pay for gas, insurance and other things.

So yeah, you can be fully employed, work al the overtime you can and still be dirt poor. Just because someone isn't pulling in a six figure income or isn't a CEO/manager/director/etc doesn't mean that person is lazy, stupid or lacking ambition.

That said I have nothing to add for you, Xzenox..no magic words or anything. This life is very tough and only seems to value status and seeks to judge those of us who are not interested in climbing the corporate ladder.

All I can say is to save as much as you can even if it means going without certain things until you can find a mode of living that is useful for you.

If you are lucky enough to live in a state that 'allows' you to live off grid and be self sufficient (collect rainwater and use generators and wood stoves) then that may be an option...I don't know what else to say.

If you are homeless apply to Medicaid , the government will give you food stamps  and  a section 88  for a  house shelter

https://budget.digital.mass.gov/summary/fy21/outside-section/section-88-eviction-diversion-monthly-report

 

 

[Xzenox]

I stared my demons in the eye, laughed, said do you're best to destroy me. And they did. Time and time again but only cause I wanted it. I didn't want a life. I wasn't grateful, nor did I ever count my blessings or feel happy to be alive because my happy was always masked behind a deep seated pain that I could never seem to just let go. What is the pain really? Is it because my parents threw me away when I was 3 years old? Is it cause I was raised by cruel people who reminded me of how worthless and futile my existence really was?? Or is it because the women I gave my heart to who turned around and threw it all away so easily but for me it was soul breaking because to them words and promises and love was imaginary when those words though sadly meant everything to me and where all i had to latch onto for dear life and hope. they already had all the love in the world while I was always starving and begging for mine it felt like to me.  I watched evil people do evil things to eachother for no other reason but to hurt eachother it seemed to be there pleasure but truly was there disguise for their own hidden pain inside. They never loved anything though but i was able to love still. I think its beautiful what could come out of the ashes and destruction of a broken places. If one does succeed to rise out of the ashes and become new they seem to have a quality of not only being able to save themselves but to help others..  So here I am. Why? What is my why? Why do I go forward anymore? And yet I know why. Because I promised God I would not give up again and do my best until the very end. Even though I still don't think I understand what that means nor what love truly means as well. I know what it feels like to love but I still don't know what it feels like besides from God here what its like to be loved. Does anyone truly ever feel completely loved and not alone? I always feel alone no matter what I do. That's what I cant stand the most really. Why won't it just go away? Why can't things just for once be okay? Yet with this huge cross of pain I've carried alone since I could remember it has brought me great beauty and love within myself yet I'm not able to find anyone to share it with and that makes my journey longer and more alone. Which in return has become frustrating, insanity. I get what the greatest poets we know were really saying when they wove their words. I always understood them they we're like my friends and lost comrades in a cold and isolating world this could be. I know what they meant from the tragedy and pain and loss came the love and beauty, and deep depths that shared its wonders with anyone who would listen. Why doesn't anyone listen anymore or want to know what love really could mean again? Goodnight my friends but I don't know if I truly have much faith left in this world but I do believe in God's love. Without it I would not be here. Till next time.

[+ouija ouija]

For a moment there you sounded quite positive

It does no good to have any expectations in this life even if you have been dealt the worst hand right from the start and feel that now it's time something went well for you. Life does not work that way, it is not fair but totally random in how it dishes out favours. 

Love is an over-used word. It certainly isn't constant or consistent and like everything else in life is handed out and taken away quite randomly. That might sound depressing, but in fact once you let go of all expectations a lot of stress disappears and of course disappointment too. Your head clears and you are more able to see how to move forward.

I wish you luck; you sound as if you are strong at heart.

[Xzenox]

My heart is strong and I've become braver the most. Nothing really scares me anymore not even death besides continuing to live this life I've had so far so completely estranged and hopelessly alone more then others around me. My life is not normal because my friends there is no gift without a price. I have not allowed evil to destroy my heart and despite of the lack of love or nurturing that most people take for granted that I've been denied I have truly been able to love even though I've never been loved the same in return. Except by God. God's the greatest for of love I've ever known truly. For I'm just one man lost crying into the wilderness .  I'm not doing so hot though anymore. I fear I'm at the end of my rope and I need help truly and salvation. I work very hard I try so hard too. But evil forces have constantly been trying to destroy me since I can remember. Evil is a real entity. I promise you but you have nothing to fear  unless you give it away and sadly most people do. And they do it for nothing. I need a friend and I need help. I can't do this on my own anymore. I've tried its not working. Why would it possibly work now? Thank you

[+ouija ouija]

I've got nothing more, I'm afraid . . . . . sorry. What about looking back through this thread and making sure you haven't missed a good suggestion by one of the posters.

[+Hammerclaw]

 

[Xzenox]

14 hours ago, Hammerclaw said:

 

Oh hammerclaw, that was very amusing and worth a laugh. Its good to laugh again. Even though you probably didn't intend to send that for that purpose. I did enjoy it so thank you. I do hope though there are other poets beside Hamilton you enjoy sharing? Thanks for everyone who tried. Goodnight 

[Xzenox]

On 6/15/2021 at 4:04 PM, docyabut2 said:

If you are homeless apply to Medicaid , the government will give you food stamps  and  a section 88  for a  house 

You obviously don't understand how it all really works on the other side heh. That's alright if I were you I would be thanking God everyday you never had too. Heh. Goodnight 

[+Hammerclaw]

1 hour ago, Xzenox said:

You obviously don't understand how it all really works on the other side heh. That's alright if I were you I would be thanking God everyday you never had too. Heh. Goodnight 

Yeah, right. What exactly do you want here? Sympathy? Friendship? Understanding? No, you've more or less shrugged off offers of that. So, what is it? A GoFundMe? Cash Donations? I notice in your Bio you've avenue for that. How many other sites are you pulling this schtick on, anyway?

[+ouija ouija]

4 hours ago, Hammerclaw said:

Yeah, right. What exactly do you want here? Sympathy? Friendship? Understanding? No, you've more or less shrugged off offers of that. So, what is it? A GoFundMe? Cash Donations? I notice in your Bio you've avenue for that. How many other sites are you pulling this schtick on, anyway?

This crossed my mind too . . . .

[+Hammerclaw]

16 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

This crossed my mind too . . . .

A starving BS artist?

 

[lightly]

4 hours ago, Hammerclaw said:

A starving BS artist?

 

I must be born 'every minute'     cuz that never would have occured to me  !

 

 

[Xzenox]

I do t want anything but what this section is supposed to be for and what I asked for originally.  Its you guys who are the ones who seem to want something from me? Since your all wasting my time and yours from your own dramatic needs heh. Hypocrits. So sad. I will say it again I am looking for a real psychic and person who has a gift to do a reading for me. Nothing has changed. Thanks

[Freez1]

I’ve got friends and some family members in the same boat. Hooked on drugs to lazy to work. They had it right once they worked and kept a roof over their head. But in the blink of an eye lost it all because of drugs. Some had their kids taken away and still live in a ditch or under a bridge. I help with food when I can but have a family of my own. Self help is the best contact a church or out reach program. If it drugs get in rehab and get off them. 

[XenoFish]

4 hours ago, Xzenox said:

I am looking for a real psychic and person who has a gift to do a reading for me.

No one like that exist. Just some delusional fool who will pretend to give you a reading. Gotta burst that bubble. You do come in here ever so often an ask pretty much the same thing.

[Xzenox]

If none of you people believe in psychic or the supernatural then why is there a section devoted to psychic readings and why are you sitting here even harassing me when I don't want anything from you people? Lol. Do you all ready not see that its not me that has a problem here its you guys cause obviously it bothers you inside on some deep level that there are hardworking good people out there that may be homeless still and from the sounds of it that's just impossible to all you entitled miserable people who instead of enjoying your own life your sitting here trying to judge mine. Don't ruin think that's even more kind of sad in its own way? Lol I do. Anyways,  I don't want anything from you people.  I am looking for what this forum section says its for and you are the ones who are invading and trolling here. There are people out there intuned to the other side I have experienced few before. You guys probably don't even believe In God do you? You think your little small lives and worlds are the only thing to live for. Heh. Boy its going to be quite the shock when you find out you were all wrong and that you have eternity to deal with it. Heh. So anyways I'm done responding to these ridiculous trolling statements but if a true spiritually inclined person reads and can deliver a message to me please do reach out to me. Thanks for the laughs. I needed it

[Xzenox]

Aren't there moderators who are suppose to handle these trolls are they all gone now? I haven't asked for single thing here except for a psychic reading. Is this how you let your site run now. Ruled by angry people who enjoy trolling people who believe in anything they deem unworthy or unfit for themselves? Sad. Sad sad world indeed. Its gonna be okay though. God will set everything right someday.

[XenoFish]

1 minute ago, Xzenox said:

If none of you people believe in psychic or the supernatural then why is there a section devoted to psychic readings and why are you sitting here even harassing me when I don't want anything from you people? Lol. Do you all ready not see that its not me that has a problem here its you guys cause obviously it bothers you inside on some deep level that there are hardworking good people out there that may be homeless still and from the sounds of it that's just impossible to all you entitled miserable people who instead of enjoying your own life your sitting here trying to judge mine. Don't ruin think that's even more kind of sad in its own way? Lol I do. Anyways,  I don't want anything from you people.  I am looking for what this forum section says its for and you are the ones who are invading and trolling here. There are people out there intuned to the other side I have experienced few before. You guys probably don't even believe In God do you? You think your little small lives and worlds are the only thing to live for. Heh. Boy its going to be quite the shock when you find out you were all wrong and that you have eternity to deal with it. Heh. So anyways I'm done responding to these ridiculous trolling statements but if a true spiritually inclined person reads and can deliver a message to me please do reach out to me. Thanks for the laughs. I needed it

You were given good advice from other members who tried to encourage you. Yet you are waiting for some "psychic" to tell you the exact same or similar things many of us have said. At this point in time, you can stay homeless, you can lose whatever job you have and you can live in some back alley or gutter for all I care. People have tried to give you support and yet you complain. Enjoy your miserable life. 

[Xzenox]

What makes you think I haven't appreciated nor listened to all the nice advise the actual nice people have provided me? You're a fool xenofish. A judgemental sad little fool. I am allowed to be sad and say what I feel inside. This is my post dude. Dont read it if it hurts you so deeply inside even though its not even about you. I think maybe you may have some of your own deep seated feelings you may need to address someday. You're not above the human experience buddy. No one is.

[XenoFish]

Just now, Xzenox said:

What makes you think I haven't appreciated nor listened to all the nice advise the actual nice people have provided me? You're a fool xenofish. A judgemental sad little fool. I am allowed to be sad and say what I feel inside. This is my post dude. Dont read it if it hurts you so deeply inside even though its not even about you. I think maybe you may have some of your own deep seated feelings you may need to address someday. You're not above the human experience buddy. No one is.

Unlike you I actually clawed my way out of a personal hell. This isn't your first thread like this. This thread doesn't hurt me at all. I find it hopeless in the sense that good hearted people sought to help someone and they are dismissed, all because you think some psychic can guide you. 

[XenoFish]

https://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum/profile/23968-xzenox/content/page/2/?type=forums_topic

I counted 8 threads where you've asked psychics for help. Apparently it isn't working. 

[Xzenox]

You know what your problem is dude? You give something even as much as some words and you expect something in return obviously? Thats not really giving my friend. That's you send indulging your own false ego to make you feel better about yourself and when you don't get what you want you cry out like a little mad angry child. Its sad. Grow up. And completely self serving and thats really not helping or very giving so maybe you might be happier if you actually learned what it means to help someone without expecting something in return. It's far more rewarding then what you are doing. I promise. Anyways Goodluck to you ^^

[Xzenox]

1 minute ago, XenoFish said:

https://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum/profile/23968-xzenox/content/page/2/?type=forums_topic

I counted 8 threads where you've asked psychics for help. Apparently it isn't working. 

You're right I'm still looking for obe it hasnt worked yet so I haven't stop trying.  Goodjob! Lol doesn't change a dam thing dude. I believe there is one out there and you don't obviously believe at all. Why are you here? Lol. Go away if you don't believe in this stuff. No one is forcing you to be here. They are rare but they exist out there. Some people are more intuned to the other side and when the right time finally comes spiritual teachers will show up in our lives to show us the way. I still haven't found mine yet. Thats why I have not stopped trying. So are you bored yet cause I am. Move on now heh

[XenoFish]

2 minutes ago, Xzenox said:

You know what your problem is dude? You give something even as much as some words and you expect something in return obviously? Thats not really giving my friend. That's you send indulging your own false ego to make you feel better about yourself and when you don't get what you want you cry out like a little mad angry child. Its sad. Grow up. And completely self serving and thats really not helping or very giving so maybe you might be happier if you actually learned what it means to help someone without expecting something in return. It's far more rewarding then what you are doing. I promise. Anyways Goodluck to you ^^

Listen Houston. You think a lot of things, those are all your opinions. You know what makes me feel good about myself? Accomplishment. I have a home, I own things I've worked for. I built my life from scratch and have worked for myself 22 years now. I own land, a business, building my own home. Have been able to fully support my children. 

What exactly have you done to really built your life? If you want to cast stones at me. Go ahead. But I'm a self made man. 

My last advice to you is the advice I was given a few years ago. Suck it up and do something to fix it. Only one person can get your life in check and that is you. No one else. Either do something constructive or keep complaining. If you do nothing then you deserve all the hardships you have. 

[Xzenox]

9 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Listen Houston. You think a lot of things, those are all your opinions. You know what makes me feel good about myself? Accomplishment. I have a home, I own things I've worked for. I built my life from scratch and have worked for myself 22 years now. I own land, a business, building my own home. Have been able to fully support my children. 

What exactly have you done to really built your life? If you want to cast stones at me. Go ahead. But I'm a self made man. 

My last advice to you is the advice I was given a few years ago. Suck it up and do something to fix it. Only one person can get your life in check and that is you. No one else. Either do something constructive or keep complaining. If you do nothing then you deserve all the hardships you have. 

Again you are so quick to judge and assume that I'm just sitting around and doing nothing about my situation and unlike I don't feel the need to prove myself to you or want anything from you but if this helps you and your hopelessness problem you have inside which I can actually truly understand then ill say I am doing things, I an still working. I am not asking for hand outs and I have not given up or stop believing that I can change my life around. Not everything or everyone XenoFish is so easy to judge by the cover. I know how this world is and how people are so I will not hold your pre judgemental bias against you. But just cause the world thinks that way XenoFish does not make the world any more right and its probably the very same world you've lost your hope in so why are you doing the same as the very thing you probably truly despise inside I would imagine. Life's not fair obviously and we all get dealt the cards we have and some do make it out of the teaches of hell itself and alot more don't. Do you really like being the person who thinks they have the right to judge what some one does or does not deserve? I would be careful with that if I was you. Monsters have easily been created that way and living that way is as sad as my situation if you ask me just in a different way. The road to true peace Xeno-Fish is love. Learn how to truly love and be free. Goodluck again