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Self Esteem and Religion


Sherapy

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52 minutes ago, Mr Walker said:

Not where I live :) 

However i take your last point 

But then that is what love is about 

If you, and those around, you  have love, you will have that sort of relationship and community 

Plus love, like any emotion, builds reciprocity  Give it and you get it back/   

Thus love brings many material rewards,  from sexual to financial  

I haven't had to buy a cup of coffee for many years 

I get free ones from  my local deli and bakery. 

Ps. In my case it doesn't really have anything to do with religious belief or faith.

People here are just kind, generous, and community minded, and we look after each other in many ways, whatever our beliefs or lack of them   Indeed I have no idea what belief most  of the people I know   here have, and they don't have any idea about mine. 

 

So are many communities all over the world. We all think our communities are the best.

‘John, (Hammerclaw), is probably the most noble, kind, generous and like minded person on here. You don’t know his personal story because he is also incredibly humble.  He is also a man of god and his opinion is valued in speaking on all things religion. I regard him as one of the rare Christian voices who understands all walk of lives and gets along with anyone. None-the-less thank you, for your thoughts 

 

All the best.

Edited by Sherapy
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2 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

Not where I live :) 

However i take your last point 

But then that is what love is about 

If you, and those around, you  have love, you will have that sort of relationship and community 

Plus love, like any emotion, builds reciprocity  Give it and you get it back/   

Thus love brings many material rewards,  from sexual to financial  

I haven't had to buy a cup of coffee for many years 

I get free ones from  my local deli and bakery. 

Ps. In my case it doesn't really have anything to do with religious belief or faith.

People here are just kind, generous, and community minded, and we look after each other in many ways, whatever our beliefs or lack of them   Indeed I have no idea what belief most  of the people I know   here have, and they don't have any idea about mine. 

 

Well, I'm glad things are all hunky-dory and ginger-peachy, way down South there in Hooterville. Give my regards to Sam Drucker.

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5 hours ago, XenoFish said:

To rule oneself with an iron fist.

Stop doing that! You'll go blind!:w00t:

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6 hours ago, lightly said:

         I admire your self discipline.    .  . but I hope you can forgive yourself ..nobody's perfect.   

pfffft....speak for yourself dude! 

I actually am all that and a bag of chips...and if you don't believe me...just ask me! B)  Hi, I'm nobody,  pleased to meet you...

In realidad...there is no such thing as self control.  We all do what we want.  We might like to think we are in control of our own self...but...it is self who is controlling us.  I think the more we become one with our own self...the higher our self esteem.   I actually get confused quite often...about who I really am.  Am I me?  or ... am I just trying to be who I think I am.  I tell myself not to do things...and then I'm like...Damn it!  I told you not to do that!  And then I think, why the hell should I expect anyone else to listen to me when I don't even listen to me?!   There is really no point in setting ourselves up for disappointment.  Rigid rules and discipline.  Work of the devil I say.  Do what you want.  and be happy with it.

 

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1 hour ago, Hammerclaw said:

Well, I'm glad things are all hunky-dory and ginger-peachy, way down South there in Hooterville. Give my regards to Sam Drucker.

 

Yes, we put a lot of thought into any place we choose to live, and thus everywhere we have lived has been very pleasant.

This one is the best of all.

Big enough to  have all the essentials and small enough to be a real community 

it didn't matter  so much when were younger, fitter, and more heavily armed  :) but at 70 and 80 respectively we wanted a place without home invasions,  muggings, theft,  and other crimes or violence.

The tone of your post  sounded a bit disparaging, although that might just be me.

Cummins has won a number of national and international awards for different community projects and also quite a lot of funding for things like  mental   health.

https://www.facebook.com/CumminsSouthAustralia/

There are a lot of Sam Drucker types here, as you might tell from the face book page 

IMO that is good thing . You'd probably see me as one of them, although my contribution to the community is limited by  the need to care for my wife. 

 Rated best public toilets in Australia and  4th best in the world :) 

  

 

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16 minutes ago, Mr Walker said:

Rated best public toilets in Australia and  4th best in the world :) 

Oh, boy. Best public bathrooms in Australia. What an achievement. :wacko:

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14 minutes ago, Nuclear Wessel said:

Oh, boy. Best public bathrooms in Australia. What an achievement. :wacko:

See; you big city boys don't appreciate  the really important things in life  :)   People  come from  all over Australia to see these toilets,  but the y are also an integral part of a park and playground used daily by locals and visitors   for big and small events.  

But really, it is about what it represents about the community 

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2186144201415541

Maybe this attraction, held in the middle of summer, with temperatures often over 40 C  is more to your taste :)  

(I've been invited to be one of two father Christmases at the event this year. :)   )

https://www.abc.net.au/local/photos/2012/12/24/3660359.htm

https://www.portlincolntimes.com.au/story/6992109/no-stop-to-cummins-christmas-event/

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1 hour ago, joc said:

pfffft....speak for yourself dude! 

I actually am all that and a bag of chips...and if you don't believe me...just ask me! B)  Hi, I'm nobody,  pleased to meet you...

In realidad...there is no such thing as self control.  We all do what we want.  We might like to think we are in control of our own self...but...it is self who is controlling us.  I think the more we become one with our own self...the higher our self esteem.   I actually get confused quite often...about who I really am.  Am I me?  or ... am I just trying to be who I think I am.  I tell myself not to do things...and then I'm like...Damn it!  I told you not to do that!  And then I think, why the hell should I expect anyone else to listen to me when I don't even listen to me?!   There is really no point in setting ourselves up for disappointment.  Rigid rules and discipline.  Work of the devil I say.  Do what you want.  and be happy with it.

 

I use to be like that at one point in my life, but I realized that our actions define who we really are. After I realized that I never got confused again, because our actions define each of us and they take all the guess work out being certain who we really are. It's impossible to hide from that subconscious part of each us that controls our actions. :yes:

Nothing speaks louder than actions, nothing. There is the one thing about the Internet I truly despise, far to many of us say things in places like this we would never say face to face with another person. Wouldn't it be great if everyone online really meant just what they say, that would be a real online experience.!:)

To me the above is happiness, so basically happiness is just being real!

Peace my friend!:tu:

Edited by Manwon Lender
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6 hours ago, Manwon Lender said:

I use to be like that at one point in my life, but I realized that our actions define who we really are. After I realized that I never got confused again, because our actions define each of us and they take all the guess work out being certain who we really are. It's impossible to hide from that subconscious part of each us that controls our actions. :yes:

Nothing speaks louder than actions, nothing. There is the one thing about the Internet I truly despise, far to many of us say things in places like this we would never say face to face with another person. Wouldn't it be great if everyone online really meant just what they say, that would be a real online experience.!:)

To me the above is happiness, so basically happiness is just being real!

Peace my friend!:tu:

Not to nit pic...;)  But....the subconscious does not control our actions.  It plays a part ... a really big part...but it is our conscious mind that determines what actions we take and it is our conscious mind that is completely responsible for our actions.  

Our conscious mind knows what is truth and what is a lie.  Our subconscious has no knowledge of truth or lie.  It's focus is to support the conscious thought process, regardless of whether it is good or bad or truthful or deceitful.  The subconscious is a 'filing support system' for the conscious mind.  When we think a thought...the subconscious goes to work immediately finding and submitting memory files that will support the conscious thought.  Which is why it is very important to filter what goes into our subconscious memory and it is the key to understanding positive/negative thought process.   

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7 hours ago, joc said:

pfffft....speak for yourself dude! 

I actually am all that and a bag of chips...and if you don't believe me...just ask me! B)  Hi, I'm nobody,  pleased to meet you...

In realidad...there is no such thing as self control.  We all do what we want.  We might like to think we are in control of our own self...but...it is self who is controlling us.  I think the more we become one with our own self...the higher our self esteem.   I actually get confused quite often...about who I really am.  Am I me?  or ... am I just trying to be who I think I am.  I tell myself not to do things...and then I'm like...Damn it!  I told you not to do that!  And then I think, why the hell should I expect anyone else to listen to me when I don't even listen to me?!   There is really no point in setting ourselves up for disappointment.  Rigid rules and discipline.  Work of the devil I say.  Do what you want.  and be happy with it.

 

Oh, gee. I guess I'm wrong. Perhaps I shouldn't have looked at the bad examples around. The alcoholic, drug addicts, carton of cigarette smokers, the gluttonous to 3 heart attacks and diabetes. Why ever would a reasonable person say no to that. A person who know that a potential addictive personality might exist within their psyche. I just need to relax, indulge in all those self destructive habits. Jump off that cliff. Nah, I'd rather not. 

Rather keep tabs on myself. Might not be the life anyone else wants, but I do it for my own sake. 

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26 minutes ago, joc said:

Which is why it is very important to filter what goes into our subconscious memory and it is the key to understanding positive/negative thought process.   

I didn't realize that what goes into our subconscious memory is under our control, being 'sub-' and all.  Since the only thing we (maybe) have control over is the conscious, I think it is more important to filter what comes out of your subconscious, I believe that is the focus of some kinds of therapy/counseling approaches.

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2 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Oh, gee. I guess I'm wrong. Perhaps I shouldn't have looked at the bad examples around. The alcoholic, drug addicts, carton of cigarette smokers, the gluttonous to 3 heart attacks and diabetes. Why ever would a reasonable person say no to that. A person who know that a potential addictive personality might exist within their psyche. I just need to relax, indulge in all those self destructive habits. Jump off that cliff. Nah, I'd rather not. 

Rather keep tabs on myself. Might not be the life anyone else wants, but I do it for my own sake. 

Maybe you are wrong.  I was not implying that you are wrong however. I did not say 'rules and discipline' were the work of the devil.  I said, Rigid rules and discipline. 

I said that, not as a dig at you Xeno, but rather because it is my experience.  You said yourself (maybe I misunderstood) that if you do not adhere to your rigid rules that you feel like a miserable failure.  You can look at extremes if you want to.  It is just my experience that setting rigid rules is akin to setting one's own self up for failure, which in turn, diminishes self-esteem and furthermore, it is my contention that self-esteem, diminished to a certain point, exacerbates the behaviors you mentioned above...over-indulgence.  

I did not mean to  imply that indulgence in destructive behavior is okay.   it isn't...the key word there being 'destructive'.  But we can make constructive choices about what we do and don't do that actually do increase our self-esteem.  Nothing against you my friend.  :)  You do you!  And keep whatever tabs on yourself you need to.  Whatever works for  you.  I am just saying that if disregarding our own rules makes us miserable...maybe we need to rethink the rules or how we apply them or the consequences we set for disobeying our own disciplines.    And one way I have found to do that is to illustrate to myself the list of my successes.  Just me thinking out loud Xeno...

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1 minute ago, joc said:

Maybe you are wrong.  I was not implying that you are wrong however. I did not say 'rules and discipline' were the work of the devil.  I said, Rigid rules and discipline. 

I said that, not as a dig at you Xeno, but rather because it is my experience.  You said yourself (maybe I misunderstood) that if you do not adhere to your rigid rules that you feel like a miserable failure.  You can look at extremes if you want to.  It is just my experience that setting rigid rules is akin to setting one's own self up for failure, which in turn, diminishes self-esteem and furthermore, it is my contention that self-esteem, diminished to a certain point, exacerbates the behaviors you mentioned above...over-indulgence.  

I did not mean to  imply that indulgence in destructive behavior is okay.   it isn't...the key word there being 'destructive'.  But we can make constructive choices about what we do and don't do that actually do increase our self-esteem.  Nothing against you my friend.  :)  You do you!  And keep whatever tabs on yourself you need to.  Whatever works for  you.  I am just saying that if disregarding our own rules makes us miserable...maybe we need to rethink the rules or how we apply them or the consequences we set for disobeying our own disciplines.    And one way I have found to do that is to illustrate to myself the list of my successes.  Just me thinking out loud Xeno...

I've had enough example of self indulgence/hedonism to turn me away from it. The thing is others can do whatever they wish, but I know what I'm capable of. I know what that path by examples, where it will lead. I'd rather not end my life in a drunken haze. Ruin people lives because of drugs or end up getting 3 heart surgeries because I can't/won't control my appetite. 

I just don't want that and I know I'm capable of it. 

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2 minutes ago, Liquid Gardens said:

I didn't realize that what goes into our subconscious memory is under our control, being 'sub-' and all.  Since the only thing we (maybe) have control over is the conscious, I think it is more important to filter what comes out of your subconscious, I believe that is the focus of some kinds of therapy/counseling approaches.

Thank you for that comment LG!  Please permit me to further explain my thoughts.

We have no control over the subconscious...you are correct.  Except that we do have conscious control over what goes into the subconscious.  Like I was saying the subconscious has access to all the memory files.  Whatever the conscious thought is, the subconscious finds and submits similar supportive files.  We have no control over what files the subconscious chooses to submit.  But we can program our own subconscious by allowing or disallowing certain thoughts to be entertained in our conscious mind.  

We have zero control over what comes out of our subconscious because it is 'sub'.  It is working on it's own.  It isn't just the retriever of memory files however, it is also the filer.  So, we can tell the subconscious literally what files to file and where by our own conscious thought process.  That is how we 'filter' the subconscious.  If you fill  your subconscious mind with fear.  You will have fear coming back at you.  That sort of thing.

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13 hours ago, Sherapy said:

I am not challenging your conclusion or ability to make judgements. I am genuinely interested in what things he lies about. It is only a conversation. Maybe, I can shed some light, maybe not. I was once an Atheist.

I like this thread, and everyone's honesty.  That^  statement fascinates me Sherapy, you've said it before.   What caused you to doubt your atheistic belief ;). .and become a firm not knower?  What makes you wonder ?   Please&ThankYou .

  Personally, I can't help but think/feel that if this unbelievably incredible Universe Is possible...and our   (((((existence))))) !   Is possible    ..pretty much Anything Is possible.

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34 minutes ago, lightly said:

I like this thread, and everyone's honesty.  That^  statement fascinates me Sherapy, you've said it before.   What caused you to doubt your atheistic belief ;). .and become a firm not knower?  What makes you wonder ?   Please&ThankYou .

  Personally, I can't help but think/feel that if this unbelievably incredible Universe Is possible...and our   (((((existence))))) !   Is possible    ..pretty much Anything Is possible.

I basically moved on to an Agnostic. Made peace with the idea that there is no concrete evidence at this point in humanity one way or the other for or against gods. I have no qualms with Atheism.  
 

For me, the most we have is personal accounts/ testimonies/reports stating a  feeling of inner-connection, or being awestruck which is defined as being filled with awe this feeling can result from a multitude of situations whether one believes in a god or not. Many times in my life I have experienced being awestruck, at the birth of my kids, communing in nature, having a great conversation with a friend, spending time with my loved ones, eating an amazing meal, meditation and moments in my line of work have filled me with awe. I conclude that is a feeling and common to being human. And, I am okay with this, but am open to evidences and would refine if the facts point to something otherwise. 

Edited by Sherapy
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30 minutes ago, joc said:

We have no control over the subconscious...you are correct.  Except that we do have conscious control over what goes into the subconscious.  Like I was saying the subconscious has access to all the memory files.  Whatever the conscious thought is, the subconscious finds and submits similar supportive files.  We have no control over what files the subconscious chooses to submit.  But we can program our own subconscious by allowing or disallowing certain thoughts to be entertained in our conscious mind.  

That sounds right to me too for normal everyday operations, although to be more precise I'd add the word 'some' or 'mostly' to most of your sentences above (and "I think" to all of mine).  We have some conscious control over what goes into our subconscious, although some things go in involuntarily that people have trouble getting out, such as with PTSD.  Your theory makes sense though, what goes into the subconscious reflects maybe how much time it spends in our conscious, like you said if you are preoccupied consciously with fear that is going to distill down to the subconscious perhaps proportionally, and thus we would indirectly have some control.

1 hour ago, joc said:

It isn't just the retriever of memory files however, it is also the filer.  So, we can tell the subconscious literally what files to file and where by our own conscious thought process. 

I agree with that but because I'm not aware of how it is filing things I'm not sure how much control I have on how it does that operation.  I think to be more specific you're talking about for example by consciously filtering what you think about something that happens to you and most importantly the feelings you have/associate with it, then those are the feelings that the subconscious will link internally to the event which can be beneficial.  The only thing I'd maybe disagree with you on is the degree of control we actually have.  To some extent your point above about memory does indicate we have some control over what comes out; typically when I'm trying to remember something or figure something out my subconscious isn't going and grabbing unrelated memories.  It can happen, but when I'm trying to remember the name of a bird my subconscious output is usually related to that, and isn't just some random memory of a Happy Days episode or something.

My biggest caveat to some of these ideas of control over the subconscious is that what goes in I think is heavily weighted by emotions; an impactful event that one really hasn't had time to mentally/emotionally process can still be represented in an outsized, disproportional way by the subconscious.  I wouldn't say I have depression but like most people have my moments, and it was only recently that I had read how for whatever reason the brain tends to 'remember better' or emphasize more the crappy things that happen to us versus the bad.  Makes sense I think evolutionally, if one of our ancestors almost got eaten by a tiger it's more important to their survival to keep that prominent in their mind as opposed to good things like that tasty tenderloin cut of mastodon they enjoyed by the fire recently.  To me this fact provides comfort; if I'm depressed it's helpful to keep in mind that part of that is involuntary and an overreaction by my brain, and allows me to treat a depressive bout more as if it were like a headache and something I just need to wait out.  It's much more preferable for me in this situation to just look at it as 'feeling bad' than 'feeling bad about'.

Plus I wonder the degree of 'thought' or computation that is occurring in the subconscious, and wonder how much it is determining 'who we really are' in comparison to the conscious.  It doesn't happen often but I'll sometimes wake myself abruptly out of that 'beginning to fall asleep' phase where there is maybe an inkling of consciousness but I'm also not fully dreaming, but still in a quasi-dream-like state.  I can almost never remember anything specific, but one of my more common experiences with it is that it seems that my pre-sleep mind is thinking about and mulling over what seems to be a concern of mine and 'feels' like it's something from my memory, but in actuality is not real at all.  I have no examples, but maybe I'm thinking about or stressing about a girlfriend and recent things that have happened in this state and then wake up and this concern makes no sense; the girlfriend is just someone I went on a couple dates with and haven't seen for years in actuality and my subconscious made it all up (or that's just what I think is going on as that is what I 'remember' when I snap myself awake).  I'll also get what seems like just a parade of sounds and noise that instantly goes silent when I wake up out of this state.  I'm sure this happens to most of us non-Walkerians too, but my takeaway is there's a lot of **** going in there that I don't have a clue about and am only rarely even aware of, so I try to temper my ideas of what's going on in the subconscious based on that.

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19 minutes ago, Liquid Gardens said:

what goes in I think is heavily weighted by emotions

This is the basis of sigil magick. A symbolized version of a wish or intention can by whatever means be emotionally empowered. If the idea takes root it could shape a person perception, thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

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3 hours ago, joc said:

But....the subconscious does not control our actions.  It plays a part ... a really big part...but it is our conscious mind that determines what actions we take and it is our conscious mind that is completely responsible for our actions. 

Neurophysiology disagrees with this statement.

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2 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

This is the basis of sigil magick. A symbolized version of a wish or intention can by whatever means be emotionally empowered. If the idea takes root it could shape a person perception, thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

From what I understand of it I've always liked your perspective on 'magick' and I think it fits in very well with thinking symbolically or analogously about the subconscious.  If I treat my not-quite-asleep experiences mentioned above as giving me a real fleeting glimpse into my subconscious then the two main things I take away from it is that it is powerful and it is chaotic (or has very mysterious rules it is following); when I think about magick/magic as if it were a real thing that sigils and spells were really calling upon, I would use those same two adjectives to describe magick also.  Symbolically, if sigils are an imperfect attempt to control and influence real magick to affect the world then similarly like I was talking to joc about our attempts at filtering our consciousness are also imperfect, and like magick indirect, attempts to control and influence the chaotic subconscious. 

What's cool though then is what you describe above is almost like these concepts intertwining.  No, in reality sigils aren't really channeling any real Gandalf/Merlin-like magic, but because they are as you put it emotionally empowered then the intention/wish/thought that is behind that should be more effective at making an impact on the subconscious, and really isn't that different than instead using the conscious-filtering approach.  I think the literal sigil/symbol assists in that two, ties into our sense of visual aesthetics and maybe focuses the whole thing.  I like it.  I'd rather be able to magically throw a fireball every once in a while of course, but I still like it.

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Ah yes, the subconscious. I suspect that if we could intimately control it, that we might have very 'powerful' self-awareness.

Not psychic power or anything like that, rather an immense new control over our emotions and mentality.

Edited by pallidin
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4 hours ago, XenoFish said:

I've had enough example of self indulgence/hedonism to turn me away from it. The thing is others can do whatever they wish, but I know what I'm capable of. I know what that path by examples, where it will lead. I'd rather not end my life in a drunken haze. Ruin people lives because of drugs or end up getting 3 heart surgeries because I can't/won't control my appetite. 

I just don't want that and I know I'm capable of it. 

Good for you, I mean this sincerely,  just a poor diet that leads to being over weight in the middle of life if left alone can lead to so many chronic health conditions and poor health and  an inability to cope with life’s stressors etc. Other than when we are young, being overweight after a certain point is incredibly hard on the human body and its functions. I have been told by doctors it is worse than substance abuse because It takes years and years to ruin the brain cognition with alcohol and even smoking takes years and years, and if you quit before to much irreversible damage the lungs have an amazing capacity to heal, but being overweight throws the bodies systems out of kilter and all kinds of health complications can result. 
 Long term heart issues can lead to cognitive decline such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s too. 

This is by far my biggest take away as a caregiver how important it is to take care of oneself and as a friend recently said it is easy to lose weight what is hard is wanting to. I speak from first hand experience. My 35 pound weight loss has made me feel like 25 again and all the issues I complained of were lost with the weight. My quality of life is night and day. I am holding strong too almost have 2 years under my belt. 

 

Any caregiving case I am on, I clean up their diet, get them sleeping enough, get them stress mgt and support and get them on some kind of exercise plan that they can handle, it doesn’t matter what they can do physically, I find a way because quality of life is always possible regardless of health circumstance. The best way I achieve this is by my own example and lots of love and support and I walk my talk. 

Edited by Sherapy
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1 hour ago, quiXilver said:

Neurophysiology disagrees with this statement.

I am not a psychologist so I don't know anything really about neuropsychology.  What is the disagreement exactly?

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2 hours ago, Liquid Gardens said:

From what I understand of it I've always liked your perspective on 'magick' and I think it fits in very well with thinking symbolically or analogously about the subconscious.  If I treat my not-quite-asleep experiences mentioned above as giving me a real fleeting glimpse into my subconscious then the two main things I take away from it is that it is powerful and it is chaotic (or has very mysterious rules it is following); when I think about magick/magic as if it were a real thing that sigils and spells were really calling upon, I would use those same two adjectives to describe magick also.  Symbolically, if sigils are an imperfect attempt to control and influence real magick to affect the world then similarly like I was talking to joc about our attempts at filtering our consciousness are also imperfect, and like magick indirect, attempts to control and influence the chaotic subconscious. 

What's cool though then is what you describe above is almost like these concepts intertwining.  No, in reality sigils aren't really channeling any real Gandalf/Merlin-like magic, but because they are as you put it emotionally empowered then the intention/wish/thought that is behind that should be more effective at making an impact on the subconscious, and really isn't that different than instead using the conscious-filtering approach.  I think the literal sigil/symbol assists in that two, ties into our sense of visual aesthetics and maybe focuses the whole thing.  I like it.  I'd rather be able to magically throw a fireball every once in a while of course, but I still like it.

If you really look at language we use descriptors most of the time. The wind is cool, hot, cold, dry, humid, etc. Rather if we say the wind feels cool, hot, dry, humin, etc. We can shape not only our own perception of a thing, but others view of it as well. So by using language we can shape our view of the world, view of others and ourselves. In the case of magick it takes a more self theatric approach. I mean for a moment imagine a person says a prayer for help each morning, they ask God to help them handle the day ahead. Over time this prayer becomes a part of their inner script. Something possibly subconscious. They handle their days better. While in the beginner such prayers were basically a way to handle anxiety. Even a before bed gratitude prayer might encourage a thankfulness mindset. 

A lot of people in the beginner look for what you call a Gandalf/Harry Potter/Merlin effect. Some big WOW moment. For myself all my results amounted to a strange conicidence or odd synchronicities. Nothing out of the ordinary. One thing that chaos magick taught me was that it's all the same operating system, different software. 

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1 hour ago, Sherapy said:

Good for you, I mean this sincerely,  just a poor diet that leads to being over weight in the middle of life if left alone can lead to so many chronic health conditions and poor health and  an inability to cope with life’s stressors etc. Other than when we are young, being overweight after a certain point is incredibly hard on the human body and its functions. I have been told by doctors it is worse than substance abuse because It takes years and years to ruin the brain cognition with alcohol and even smoking takes years and years, and if you quit before to much irreversible damage the lungs have an amazing capacity to heal, but being overweight throws the bodies systems out of kilter and all kinds of health complications can result. 
 Long term heart issues can lead to cognitive decline such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s too. 

This is by far my biggest take away as a caregiver how important it is to take care of oneself and as a friend recently said it is easy to lose weight what is hard is wanting to. I speak from first hand experience. My 35 pound weight loss has made me feel like 25 again and all the issues I complained of were lost with the weight. My quality of life is night and day. I am holding strong too almost have 2 years under my belt. 

 

Any caregiving case I am on, I clean up their diet, get them sleeping enough, get them stress mgt and support and get them on some kind of exercise plan that they can handle, it doesn’t matter what they can do physically, I find a way because quality of life is always possible regardless of health circumstance. The best way I achieve this is by my own example and lots of love and support and I walk my talk. 

What looks like harsh discipline to some around here is just me not wanting to be like those I witnessed growing up. Sure I have fun and I enjoy things, but the fun and enjoyment isn't the focus, it isn't the goal, it is a byproduct of what I do. Like the feeling of achievement, if I focus on the Doing, I can more from it. I just don't feel like throwing my life away on self-indulgence. I spent nearly 10 years being terribly depressed, gained a lot of weight, developed a few health issues. I will have a long road to recovery. And I know full well that I don't want to feel that way again. So I feel bad for letting myself be depressed. 

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