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Simulated Reality


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Some time ago in my teenager years (I'm 31 now) I experienced heavy existential dread related to the conception of being in a simulated universe.  The members of this forum, thank God, helped to calm down my crazy running hyper rational mind and just let go to trust, to trust that everything is okay.  At the time I concluded that it fundamentally doesn't matter since nothing could be done about the matter however since then my thinking regarding the notion had another massive shift!

Are we in a simulated reality with billions to 1 for this notion?  Answer?  We already are simulated!  Life, everything, consciousness as we know it, all experience, all of it, is already simulated by the brain!  Thank ****ing Jesus I say. That has let me to stop thinking about whether or not I'm real or not in a reality that might or might not be simulated.  I completely forgot to give credence to the fact that I already am a simulation!

I love how the description for this thread is exploring the nature of existence, the mind and knowledge.  I've done to think of ALL as stipulated by reality, existence and fantasy.  Existence is reality, knowledge is existence and fantasy is perception.

So yeah, the relief at discovering that there's nothing I can do from the fact that I'm already simulated let me finally rest that bit of anxious nightmare.  Thank you so much to the members here that allowed me to let go to trust that everything was okay.  My late teens and early twenties saw the onset of schizophrenia, I already had Bipolar 1 and ADHD from childhood, but high functioning.  Had suicidal ideation, and made suicidal plans, even though I experienced heavy death anxiety, but my rules around suicide was pretty clear regarding whether or not I would see improvement, any at all.  And thank **** that I did.

There is worse than death.  Suicide is almost like putting yourself into the worst possible state you can so you gain some perspective on yourself and have something to actually work with then.  I have suicidal ideation very lightly nowadays but basically just conclude if I want to be reminded of how badly I love to live and think normally just by the way I am just smoke some marijuana and have the worst ****ing panic attack you can imagine.  It's a miracle I don't have post traumatic stress from that ****.  (The reason I experienced the horror I did I believe has to do with unfathomable amounts of alcohol consumption for my weight 78kg polishing off 24 standard drinks in a night) and being dropped on my head hard.  Smoking marijuana after that happened occurred some of the scariest ****ing experiences I'm left wondering about to this very day...

I believe God killed all the people he did because we were losing touch with reality as simulated beings who don't interact normally with the way nature is and as a result are becoming watered down in a bad way.  The homosapien that survived the massive cullings of the past has survival close to nature ingrained deeper than the survival levels of the brain I believe.

On another aside I think I finally understand Nietche, who proclaimed the death of God, brilliantly.  The stories turned God into man, visa vis the death of God.  At first I thought he might have meant God is already dead... In heaven... But no, our stories saw Him turn into man, a necessary continuation since omnipotence, omnipresence, omnibenevolence and omniscience is a contradictory state that will see the Atheist conclude, "not God".  As it turns out God is Omnibenevolent only, and, as per science NOT omnipresent, likely proof of His divinely demise.  The Holy Ghost is still alive and well, and Jesus is still on His way, as man, God became, is whatever, back on His way from Heaven, gracing is, I believe, phenomenologically by the experience of a man walking out of blue sky with arms open in a hug to embrace with unconditional love.

It is remarkable that we'd go from a depiction of eminent power and divine magnitude as God the Father, the abstract Pinacle of all hierarchies of dominance, to meek, kind, sweet, caring and lovely Jesus.  Not someone to want to be yet this is what the development of our religious tales has shown us.  I believe that Jesus frees is from an internal drive to want to be powerful and Godlike.  The truth is that no one wants to sit in the position of God.  I had the perception that the life of Jesus Christ might have have been some sarcastic comedy to the man, but his heart too light and kind to laugh at the absolutely absurdity of it all.

Do NOT follow Jesus, for He seeks to free you from hell, likely by entering it, no one enters hell and comes out, unless one was in the throes of psychosis, then, and only then, can one be forgiven because one forgets, and only relative to the existence of Jesus is the pain of Hell rendered irrelevant.

Why speak of all of this?  Because I'm a ****ing simulation man.  My realness is simulated.  There might very well be more real than real, still stimulated from the only way I'm ever going to experience it.  In the throes of thinking and active a priori rationalism however is reality beyond simulation in its abstract realness.  In this way the abstract is more real than the tangible, always simulated.

So once more, why go off on a tangent about the God speak?  Because what ELSE is there to speak about once you know that you're at the mercy of a brain who's ancestry produced the phenomenology of the divine SOMEHOW.  I believe objective reality might be like infinity in Calculus.  It's a tool that's useful to use in a schema to describe a resultant state of some system.  We approach objective reality, we never actually get there though, this is impossible.  With the exception of the definitions of Heaven and Hell, both states that your mind can simulate for you in the last throes of life for you I believe.  And this notion that the time we experience doesn't fundamentally change unless we're at different velocities hasn't ever had to experience the condition of akithesia.  The awareness of time is one of the ****ing worst most atrocious states of awareness that possibly exists.  I harken everyone to become comfortable with the extreme discomfort of meditation so that if that awareness visits one on ones death bed and there's nothing to help one relax then one can at least maintain one's composure as one defends into evil, hell, which is "not knowing" ignorance.  The true Atheist goes to Heaven, because on his death bed he KNOWS, the only evil is ignorance and the only person you lie to regarding what you think or feel is yourself.  In this way the very disagreeable would benefit an absolute **** load by the discipline of meditation.  At some point if you repeat the exercise enough you have to, and do, begin to seriously question, and in this way seriously think, whether or not you're bull****ting yourself.  But continue with the practice.  A teacher for it is hell helpful.


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