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Reading for Roseanna


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Kathleen Meadows: Today marks the one year anniversary of the last time I sat across from Roseanna to do a Tarot reading for her. Roseanna was a psychotherapist for a children’s treatment centre, and I am a feminist psychic Tarot reader and teacher with a Master’s degree in Religion and Culture, focusing on women’s spirituality, the writings of Carl Jung, and divination. I read online at www.psychicanada.com where you can also find more of my true psychic tales. Roseanna had invited me to do Tarot readings at their annual staff wellness day. I was deeply honoured to be invited, and a little taken aback hearing Roseanna’s whoop for joy when I accepted. She said, “You’ll be the most popular venue! Get ready – your dance card will be full before the day even starts!”

About a month before this event, it struck me as odd that I hadn’t received any formal confirmation or directions. I emailed Roseanna, and received an auto reply that she would be out of her office until further notice. Another staff person would be contacting me re my query. A couple of days later another staff member called to say Roseanna was off on sick leave and she would be handling the arrangements for the event in her place. I asked what was wrong, and she said, “Oh you haven’t heard?! Roseanna has just been diagnosed with cancer and they want to get her started on treatments right away.” A million things started swirling through my mind, as it typically does in these sorts of circumstances for everyone who has a friend, or relative facing a life threatening disease. My first thought was Roseanna is only 46 years old! She has three adolescent children and is one of the nicest women I know. My next thought was about angels. Roseanna and I had been a part of channelling group together. It had been organized by a social worker and a computer programmer who together conjured up this wild plan to gather a monthly meet of strangers to channel spiritual messages. Several of the members were health care professionals, and all were scrupulous about keeping this little group a secret. What would the community think if it came out that this group of professionals were meeting regularly to channel spirits?! It certainly wasn’t a worry of mine – I was already rather well known for these sorts of eccentricities. The group would sit in a circle, meditate and then simply say whatever it was we were seeing, feeling, or experiencing, and if we had a particular message to convey to someone in our group, we would ask permission to share this information and then present it.

Roseanna’s iconography of choice was characteristically “angels”. She always saw angels. Enormous angels! As tall as the CN Tower in Toronto. She had angel pictures, statues, candles everywhere in her house. We always teased Roseanna about her angels. A year ago today, I was standing at the back of the child’s treatment facility, relaxing, taking a few good, deep breaths before going in to start what Roseanna had indeed predicted correctly, to be a busy day ahead. I turned around to enter the building and found myself toe to toe with Roseanna. I exclaimed, “Well! What are you doing here? I thought you were off to fight a dark invader?” She laughed and said, “Nothing in the world would keep me away from here today! I wouldn’t miss a reading with you for anything.” Oh dear. Now this is one of those moments in a reader’s life when resistance can override anticipation. To say I was dismayed is putting the matter into an rather understated frame. There was no way I was going to get out of this. I said, “You know Roseanna, there are some cards in my bag here that might be a little disconcerting for you to see right now. Like the Death, Tower or Devil cards. Actually, to be truthful, Roseanna, these are cards that are frankly on for my avoid list right now.” Slyly, hopefully, I suggested, “Maybe I could just remove them before we begin?” Roseanna smiled, “No way Kathleen! We’re going to do a full, real reading with all the cards! Since when did you turn into such a coward?” Resigned and not feeling too brave, I followed Roseanna in the door, down the hall to my little assigned reading room. I set up and sat shuffling cards.

Looking at Roseanna, I was losing my struggle not to cry. The sadness I felt for this adoring mother, nurturing therapist, and so solid woman was way more than I had bargained to face this day. Way more. Like a woman eyeing her noose, I said, “Well, Roseanna let’s get to the heart of the matter. It’s sitting there like a big lump anyway. How do you feel about dying?” Roseanna, ever cheerful, and calm, replied, “Actually I’m not afraid of death at all. But we’re going to put up a good fight regardless. It’s the getting to the death that bothers me the most. Do you think it will be bad?” My day just kept getting better and better. Roseanna’s reading was moving but rather less dramatic than I had feared. No big scary cards, like the Death card; rather more family cards, like the Queen and ten of Cups, and of course the Temperance card which depicts an angel pouring water from one cup to another. We were both excited to see that card and talked about her family, and her angels and what her plans were for the next few months. And we cried. Roseanna died seven months after this reading. I picked up my Tarot deck this morning to draw a card for this Roseanna Anniversary Day.

It’s hard to believe it was exactly a year ago that Roseanna and I sat facing each other across a pattern of picture cards. What had presented as a nerve wracking experience today is a sacred memory. Those few moments alone with Roseanna, sharing her deepest spiritual aspirations to her most mundane concerns, rate high among those I will treasure all my life. This morning my card of the day is the Empress. She symbolizes the sacred feminine manifest; fecund, lush, abundant, nurturing and consummately satisfied. I hear Roseanna’s words of wisdom for me today through this card, “Mother, sister, kindred spirit, live today as if it’s your last! Nurture the suffering, and be thankful for all the abundance in your life. Consider feminine empowerment with strength and benevolence.” In loving memory, I dedicate this day to Rosanna. May she dance with her gargantuan angels forever, in joy and peace.
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