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Yona

Tanka

30 posts in this topic

Well, I looked, and I decided a Tanka Topic would be fun to start. Basically it is

a haiku, but with 5,7,2,7,7 syllables instead of 5,7,5

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Summer has arrived

Time for ice cream and sunburns

Cool down

Belly flop into a pool

Cannon ball to drench your friends

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Let's see if I can remember the sequence: 5,7,2,7,7....

Twenty white chickens

They wander my yard, seeking

Earthworms

Eating, clucking, and pecking

Mobile lawn decorations

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Anxious for the game

Loitering in parking lots

Drinking

Marbles lost, babbling nonsense

Athletes falling from armchairs

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Posted (edited)

Night dies, stars wink out

Each one yeilding to the dawn

Light blooms

A purple flower turns to gold

All herald the waking sun

Edited by Maelstrom5

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What a shameless world.

With no apologies, we

Don't care.

Someday we will live in peace.

And love will reign over us.

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Posted (edited)

Sand trickling in glass

time slipped slowly by today

Sorrow

For those days I can't retrieve

And yet another fades away

Edited by Maelstrom5

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Reincarnation

Why we fall asleep in school

Cycles

Doomed to repeat history

Whether remembered or not

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Three stupid seagulls

flew in my car last weekend.

Seagulls

have to be stupid or blind.

Had fried seagull the next day!

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Posted (edited)

soft sigh of regret

sweet chance lost, and sparks that dimmed

a lass

the dream gone, her smile remains

treasured diamond in the sand

Edited by Bearly

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Posted (edited)

The lovely redhead

who i dare not pronounce love.

True love.

I shall never again love

another woman but her.

I had a little insperation from

the heart for this one. :wub:

Edited by Jack_of_Blades

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soft sigh of regret

sweet chance lost, and sparks that dimmed

a lass

the dream gone, her smile remains

treasured diamond in the sand

Very nice! Beautifully done :tu:

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So then the rains came

The iron grey sky, it weeps

Torrents

Water trails down window glass

Hurricane season is here

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Posted (edited)

Very nice! Beautifully done :tu:

Thanks so much Maelstrom. Your first post on this site about regreting days passing by inspired me. I like the one above also.

Edited by Bearly

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Posted (edited)

huddled by the fire

ashes of her lonely world

approached

warm silk brushing tired legs

rhythmic purring, neither spoke

(dedicated to my cat Leo that passed away many years ago)

Edited by Bearly

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Posted (edited)

I have done some online research on Tanka, and it appears that the standard syllable arrangement is actually 5,7,5,7,7 and not 5,7,2,7,7. In fact, I could find no reference to a 5,7,2,7,7 arrangement. But, ultimately is doesn't matter, as most American Tanka's organizations recognize that the syllables in Japanese and English language differ. And considering the nice poems on this thread, this 5, 7,2, format works very well. Maybe we need to make up a new name for it :D

Perhaps Yona found this format elsewhere? Besides, it's his thread, so he can set the rules.

Edited by Bearly
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huddled by the fire

ashes of her lonely world

approached

warm silk brushing tired legs

rhythmic purring, neither spoke

(dedicated to my cat Leo that passed away many years ago)

How sweet! I love cats, so I can definitely identify with this. Well done!

:tu:

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I have done some online research on Tanka, and it appears that the standard syllable arrangement is actually 5,7,5,7,7 and not 5,7,2,7,7. In fact, I could find no reference to a 5,7,2,7,7 arrangement. But, ultimately is doesn't matter, as most American Tanka's organizations recognize that the syllables in Japanese and English language differ. And considering the nice poems on this thread, this 5, 7,2, format works very well. Maybe we need to make up a new name for it :D

Perhaps Yona found this format elsewhere? Besides, it's his thread, so he can set the rules.

Interesting... Good point. You know, for some reason I do like the two-syllable 'pause' in the dead center of the poem, the use of a single word or pair of words there is a nice touch when reading the final product.

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Interesting... Good point. You know, for some reason I do like the two-syllable 'pause' in the dead center of the poem, the use of a single word or pair of words there is a nice touch when reading the final product.

Thanks Maelstrom5 for the compliments. It's flattering that someone is enjoying my poems, as they do take some effort. I like the one you did about the sunrise also.

And I agree. The pause in the dead center is almost like a pivot point. It can also be used as a spot for contemplation, a change in pace, a contecting idea or a theme statement.

This link discusses the differences between english syllables and 'morae'. Morae is what the japanese are counting. This link explains that the word london would count as two syllables, but the Japanese would count four 'morae' in this word. The japanese count morae, while the Westerners count syllables.

http://www.worldhaiku.net/archive/onji.pdf.

Here's another link on tanka that people might find interesting.

http://www.ahapoetry.com/tanka.htm

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This link discusses the differences between english syllables and 'morae'. Morae is what the japanese are counting. This link explains that the word london would count as two syllables, but the Japanese would count four 'morae' in this word. The japanese count morae, while the Westerners count syllables.

http://www.worldhaiku.net/archive/onji.pdf.

Here's another link on tanka that people might find interesting.

http://www.ahapoetry.com/tanka.htm

Thanks for the links, quite a neat subject this has become!

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Posted (edited)

Mountains of coral

some hidden beneath the waves

atoll

that sand dollars could not pay

salty tears raising the sea

The title is 'Shipwreck'

hint, hint

Edited by Bearly

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Posted (edited)

Pause for reflection

Mirrors, water, blackened glass

They lie

Backwards worlds, seen in reverse

Slip through, drown in vanity

Edited by Maelstrom5

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Posted (edited)

Pause for reflection

Mirrors, water, blackened glass

They lie

Backwards worlds, seen in reverse

Slip through, drown in vanity

I like this one a lot Jillian. Well done. I like poems that makes one think, and ones that use multiple meanings of words :tu:

Edited by Bearly

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I like poems that makes one think, and ones that use multiple meanings of words

Tanks, umm, I mean, Thanks! (Tanka on the brain)

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Tanks, umm, I mean, Thanks! (Tanka on the brain)

^_^

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