Stream of Consciousness #5

[snuffypuffer]

Something’s happened to me over the last few years, something I don’t quite understand. It’s not a pleasant thing, either. Every day, every week, I have to leave what I’m doing, no matter how comfortable or how much I’m enjoying myself, and I have to go to a place I don’t like. Nay, a place that some days I can barely get myself through the door before wanting to blow off my head in despair. See, now, I have a job. I work the night shift at a convenience store. I’m not proud of it, but it’s what’s available right now, and I know I’d rather have a source of income to keep me from living on the streets, and until I find another job I’m more or less stuck there.

The town where I live has absolutely nothing, I had to go to another town to get the crummy job I have now. Which is bad, because the gene pool in the town where I work is made of plastic and shaped like a turtle. Countless times I’ve had to explain the same thing to the same person, five minutes after I explained it the last time. Some of these people seem to have no working knowledge of soap and water. Maybe if Irish Spring became a NASCAR sponsor, these people would start washing themselves. Who am I kidding, they’d probably just wear the filthy T-shirt. We have a speed rack, you know, energy pills, stacker 2, Ephedra supplements, and of course, the twitchier customers always find time to peruse what we have there. Then they ask me what brand works the best, as if I’m some kind of speed pill connoisseur. I drink a Red Bull some mornings to keep going, but it tastes like ass in a can, and I’d rather just have some coffee. I can’t help but watch my life flash before my eyes all night, every night, while I stand behind a cash register and watch some bumfuddled yokel laboriously count out change for his 40 ounce of Natural Light. All this so I can keep up my truck payments, so I can afford gas, so I can get back and forth to work. The vicious cycle continues. Yay me.

Now granted, some of this is my fault. I dropped out of college after 3 semesters. I was an art major, I thought that I could do just as well with my chosen profession with no degree as without one. In fact, I have learned more about art on my own since I’ve been out of school than I ever did in art class. I can paint or draw just about anything I want with a pretty decent degree of skill, and I can write up a pretty entertaining cartoon strip. The problem, I’m not getting paid for any of that. And until I am, I have to find some other way to support myself. I had to take what I could get right away, or risk living in my truck, until it got repossessed, then I’d have to live in a box under a bridge somewhere. Can’t say I’d like that. I like my truck, and I like my bed. Better to be able to come home and crash in my nice warm comforter after a long night of dealing with the world’s idiots than to face the alternative. I’ve been dead broke, that’s why I work. But, the fact remains that I hate my job more than life itself, which is why I get the paper every morning. Why I’m sending out comic samples every couple months. I can’t bring myself to believe that this is the best I can do, college degree or no. And you know what, I may just get myself back to college one of these days. No reason not to try and see what I could have done if I’d stayed.

This is something that happens to all of us, whether we like our jobs or not, we all end up with responsibilities. We all have to get out of the house and venture off into the big, scary, sometimes stupid world. The days when a great day was watching Saturday morning cartoons before heading outside with a clutch of Matchbox cars and a hammer, then a long lazy afternoon of riding my bike before settling in with my GI Joes, Transformers, and Star Wars figures that evening. In the summer, I’d play North Pole, when I’d crank up the air conditioner, and my GI Joes would explore a strange, frigid planet made up of blankets and assorted stuffed animals. Ah, those were the days. Now a great Saturday is me sleeping late, then maybe heading over to a friend’s house to order a pizza and watch college football, unless I have to work, then I sleep even later and hope my store burns to the ground before I get there. Or I get some exotic virus that keeps me from getting to work, and I have to call in, and I can spend the night watching cheesy videos on VH 1 classic. Just doesn’t have the same magic, though, does it?

Everyone laments the fact that they’re no longer a child. I had a pretty happy childhood, and yeah, I’d like to go back. I want to be able to just run around the neighborhood, running from belligerent Pekingese dogs and bothering the elderly neighbors with equal aplomb. I want to run around saying aplomb for no good reason. I want to go outside in my underwear with no fear of repercussions. I do go outside in my underwear, but sometimes someone sees me, and they get a little frightened. It’s a lot different than when you’re five, and a contest between you and the kid next door to see who can pee the farthest is a perfectly reasonable idea. The rules change as you get older. We don’t get to play in the mud nearly as much. We have places to go, and people to see. Gotta stay clean and well groomed if you want to make it in the adult world. You don’t get to just start a game of tag out of nowhere with the girl you kind of like now. If you do, they may take it the wrong way. And they never come to get you, I know I’ve tried. They just look at you like you’ve completely lost your mind before backing away slowly.

Growing up is not mandatory, you can go play in the mud if you want to, you just have different consequences now than you did then. It’s not like when you tromped through a puddle on the way to church, and your mom tsked you, but you just had to change clothes and maybe be late. You can’t do that before you go to a job interview, being late to the interview doesn’t make you look like a trustworthy person. You have to do your dorky things in the privacy of your own home or vehicle now. The rules are different. Singing loudly along to Eighteen and Life on your car stereo gets you weird looks nowadays. Now that I think about it though, screw the rules. Sing along all you want. Play North Pole on your day off. Nobody has to know. As for me, I’m off to find a mud puddle after I strip down to my underwear. And that will make me smile.

[Benjo Koolzooie]

The town where I live has absolutely nothing,

You too? I sent an e-mail to a English book company that produced a book named "50 worst places to visit in te UK" (or something similar).

My town isn't in it - and needs to be. 2 convicted paedophiles in this small area, no shops, everything boarded up, graffiti, no park, no swimming pool, no nothing!

Don't be ashamed of your job either, as long as you are getting money!!

[Phantom]

Snuffy - it's good to follow your dreams man. Looking at your writing skills I am sure you will make it in a creative job one of these days, may it be Art or comics...

As for me, I always wanted to be a writer or a journalist. Pressured by other people (parents,peers) I went to business school instead.

I have a very good job now as a salesmanager, big salary, company car, spiffy apartment, the works. But am I happy? Not at all. I'd rather be sitting in a small drafty loft working on my book.

After 2,5 years of 80 hour working weeks I actually told my boss last monday to shove his job where the sun don't shine. So that's that. We'll see how it goes from there.*

I respect you for who you are, and sometimes wish I was more like you.

*Only thing is, it will be much harder to become Reese's rich sugar daddy now...

[Nancy]

Snuffy...........

I've read #5 several times. Each pass is more enticing than the one before.

Do me a favor and take what Phantom said, veryyyyyyyy seriously. He has given you excellent advice.

Your writing skills are rare! You have the ability to get your point (s) across, clear as a bell and at the same time, toss the right amount of "off the wall" humor that literally grabs the reader's attention, begging for more.

Right now? You have a JOB......... not a 'career'...... However? The "job" keeps you from applying for Unemployment and/or Government Assistance. It also, I presume allows you the luxury of using your computer. That allows those of us fortunate enough to be here with you, to read your witty insights.

When I was healthy enough to be a part of the "job market" the Companies for whom the populace worked actually appreciated a word that has become dusty.

That word is loyalty. If an employee believed in the company? The company believed in the work force.

Now? Akin to the rest of society, "people" have become disposable. At least in the US, the payroll changes faster than the TV channels. Hired? Fired. Benefits? Taken away. Mergers? Like peanuts, can't have just one!

My point? Stop berating your abilities. Keep plugging away and like Cinderalla, someday in the very near future, your will find that glass slipper, I promise.

note to Phantom:

I am also in the market for a Sugar Daddy. Perhaps my qualifications are not as stringent as reese's? <WINK> <WINK> good luck Phantom..... write that book!

[snuffypuffer]

Phantom, bosses are made to be abused. After all, if that's not it, what good are they? For telling you what to do? I don't like anyone telling me what to do, I don't think many people do. Way to go man, I think things will work out for you. And when you've finished your book, I want an advance copy, signed, so I can say I knew you.

Sarky, I think I'm gonna go back to school after all.

Nancy, I don't have words to describe how cool you are. You've given me nothing but encouragement, and with every one of these I get a little more confident. You've inspired the hell out of me, and I cannot thank you enough.

<------not good with authority.

[Nancy]

Aww Snuffs, you should have warned me about this comment of yours. I think I'm off to grab a box of kleenex.

Sweet Snuffy, you know I always tell the truth. I don't kiss up...

It is inspiring to keep reading your articles....... watching your talents develop is such a joy for me.

Thank you Snuffypuffer, from the bottom of my heart.....

[gollum]

snuffs, you really do have a grasp of the written language and you should really think about taking it a stage further, you have one of the best tools in front of you.

write a short novel and send it out you never know where it will take you, your style of writing reminded me of Nick Hornby, he wrote some great novels, so give it a go 'cause i'd certainly read your work.

[Kismit]

Hey Snuffy !!! Ya make me wanna play tag

and Phantom ... good for you . Now all you have to do is move to place with views of the mountains out one window and the Pacific ocean out the other . Oh I just realised New zealand is kind of like that ....

P.S. I'd let you write to Reese

[snuffypuffer]

Can we play freeze tag, Kismit?

[Agent_21]

I can identify with much of what you said - Snuffy, Nancy, Phantom - earlier on. Just wanted to say that.

A:21

[reese2]

Snuffy-

That one was really good. I really liked reading it.. Nancy is right, you come through to the person reading. I like that a lot.... I can be critical with someone's writing, and yours didn't make me cringe once..... Excluding of course, your desciption of the 'bumfuddled yokel'. (I was cringing a little.)

I think you should just keep pursuing your art, or writing..... (This, from a girl that voted against you writing, to begin with) You have changed my mind, completely.. I mean that......

LOL @ Phantom......... I can work with ya....... I could always budget for a couple of months, if need be....

Kismit- A good Sugar Daddy, would have enough for two..........

[Allie]

That was very nice Snuffy.......

You should really think about checking into getting some grants or something..... There should be something that you could get to help you out....... Seriously think about it........ I can't wait to read more of your editorials......

I like the Saturday morning cartoons and gi joes and all....... I used to play with the big tonka dump trucks outside in the dirt, those were the days......... Do you remember the metal roller skates???????? OUCH!!!!! .......LOL....

[Kismit]

Kismit- A good Sugar Daddy, would have enough for two..........

Lol this is Phantom we are talking about ... Only two girls ? ...

you know I love ya Phantom ...Arr!!

[gonzowalker]

I wish there were some way you guys could see his Comic Strips! They are too funny, and have a cool style. Some of them are VERY funny