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snuffypuffer

Stream of Consciousness #6

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snuffypuffer

I don’t have much on my mind this week. My mom had her gall bladder removed last week, and this week she’s driving everyone up the wall. I feel bad, really, I do, because sometimes I want to drop her off at a home. Yesterday she had me make her lunch, and complained the whole time I cooked it. I just couldn’t do it right by her. She kept on until I finally snapped at her to sit down and shut up, then she started crying. Then I felt really bad, nobody wants to make their mother cry, and they know it. It’s their secret weapon. Face it, your mom knows that she can get you to do whatever she wants, all she has to do is cry. Anyhow, so I spent the rest of the day feeling bad and doing whatever she said, just to alleviate my guilt. She blames the medication. My mom still thinks I’m six years old at times. Which bothers me to no end, but then she cries when I object to being called Mikey Buttons, so I let her do it. So she won’t cry. One day she’s gonna do it at my wedding or something, and I’ll have no choice but to move to the mountains and live as a hermit. I’ll be one of those legends, the kids in the future will say “don’t go near Mikey Buttons’ house, he’s nuts.” Old Man Mikey Buttons of the wilderness, that’ll be me. At least I can laugh about it.

Isn’t a sense of humor a great thing to have? Those of you without one, just nod your head as if you know what I’m talking about. It’s not your fault, you’re just in a good mood. I don’t think you can be funny and happy at the same time, the two can’t co exist. What’s funnier, someone getting everything they ever wanted in life, or someone slipping on a banana peel? The person slipping is probably even laughing. Pain is funny. Especially when it’s happening to someone else. We identify with that. Things working out, most of us don’t really know how to handle that. It’s sort of an alien concept. That’s why there’s no “things are gonna be just fine” predictions for the future of mankind. Even when the good guys win in the end, there’s gotta be some tribulations. Nobody likes a road without some detours and pitfalls along the way. And when Armageddon gets here, I’m convinced at least one person is gonna get a huge kick out of the whole thing. I probably will. When the pale horse is swooping down on me, and I’m covered in boils and it’s raining toads, I’m gonna crack up right then and there at the absurdity of it all. What’s Death gonna think when I’m practically wetting my pants as he comes to get me? Probably he’s gonna get confused. Just stand there scratching his head, and trying again, “Your time has come, Mikey Buttons. I’m here to take you to the other side.” And I’m gonna fall to the ground and probably hurt myself. Oh well, it’s only Death. What’s with the sickle anyway? He never seems to use it. It’s just there for effect. It’s probably just some skinny guy named Frances with a black robe. Can’t blame him, it’s just his job. Frances coming to take you towards the light just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Frances the Angel of Death? Naw. Still, it’s better than Mikey Buttons.

One of these days I’m going to have to string together some coherent thoughts. I’m really not completely scatterbrained. No really, I’m not. Quit laughing at me. Really, stop, I mean it. Don’t make me shake my fist at you. Look here. Grrrr! See? Aren’t you discouraged from laughing at me now? No? Oh I see, well, laugh all you want. I get it. Oooooh Mikey Buttons is getting upset, oooh look at him he’s shaking his fist and getting all belligerent. Don’t cross Mikey Buttons, he’ll get flippant with you. Ooh, now, he’s getting cross. Look at him go. I bet he’s going to launch into a tirade at any moment. Look at him go! Way to throw a tantrum! Man, see what happens when you don’t have anything to rant about? You go off on Death and your mom’s name for you when you were small. I think I need to go lie down.

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snuffypuffer

I was trying to cook a steak, she yelled at me the whole time.

I'm sorry, this one is awful, I know. I apologize in advance. I'm ready for whatever abuse you all send my way.

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gonzowalker

"Oh Mikey what a pity, you don't understand"........Wait...nevermind...It's Mickey, not Mikey huh.gif

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Kismit

I enjoyed this one too Snuffy , your right it didn't flow the same way your other stories have but it still made me feel all warm and fuzzy .

Remember us Mothers did the same thing for you when you were little . Unconditional love is another one of those cosmic jokes like death . original.gif

Oh and when I grow up I want to be the crazy old lady up the road that chases kids with her walking stick . Only crazy old ladies don't get cool names like Mickey Buttons . People just call them " that crazy old lady up the road " .but I won't mind I'll be the one with the walking stick .

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snuffypuffer

Hey, I love my mom. I'm sure that you mothers sometimes considered dropping us off at the pound a time or too also, though.

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Kismit

Lol Snuffy I've had that thought a time or two ....................Today whistling2.gifw00t.gif

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snuffypuffer

Well, I guess I don't suck as bad as I thought I did after all. Everybody is just great, thanks for all the compliments. I think you've all made my Christmas lists laugh.gif

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Nancy

Suffy? Sometimes? Writing off the cuff works magic, like this does.......

A+++!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing, this more than likely wasn't easy to put into words.

Nancy wub.gif

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