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conspiracysrus

more pc madness

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conspiracysrus

i myself i consider political correctness as a conspiracy to silence the truth, i found this list and thought it might raise a smile

1st

HERES THE LINK ITS FROM.http://www.pcphrases.com/

and heres some of the list its great.

Politically Correct (PC) Terms:

A Criminal - unsavory character

A Crook - morally (ethically) challenged

Abortion - Near-Life Experience

Alcoholic - Anti-Sobriety Activist

Alive - temporarily metabolically abled.

An Immigrant - a newcomer

Assassination - involuntary term limitation

Bald - comb-free

Bald - folically independent

Bald - follicularly challenged.

Battle Fatigued - shellshocked

Blind - optically darker

Blind - photonically non-receptive

Blind - visually challenged

Body Odor - nondiscretionary fragrance.

Broken Down Automobile - mechanically challenged

Broken Home - Dysfunctional Family

Bum - Displaced Homeowner

Bum - Homeless Person

Bum - Involuntarily Domiciled

Cannibalism - Intra-Species Dining

Censorship - Selective Speech

Cheating - Academic Dishonesty

China - Porcelain

Chronically Late - Temporarily Challenged

Clumsy - uniquely coordinated

Commercial Fisherman - Flipper Whipper

Computer Illiterate - Technologically Challenged

Corpse - Permanently Static Post-Human Mass

Corpse / Stiff - Metabolically Challenged

Corpse / Stiff - Terminally Inconvenienced

Cowardly - Challenge Challenged

Cowboys - bovine control officers

Crackpot - certified astrological consultant, certified crystal therapist, or certified past-life regression hypnotist

Crime Rate - street activity index

Dead - Actuarially Mature

Dead - biologically challenged

Dead - environmentally correct human

Dead - living impaired

Dead - metabolically challenged

Dead - persons living with entropy

Deaf - Visually Oriented

Delicatessen - Corpse Farm

Dirty Old Man - sexually focused chronologically gifted individual

Dish Washer - utensil sanitizer

Dishonest - Ethically disoriented.

Dorm - Residence Hall

Drooling Drunk Idiot - person on floor

Drowning - aquatically challenged

Drug Addict - Chemically Challenged

Drunk - spacially perplexed

Drunk / Junkie - in recovery

Earthquake - geological correction

Fail - achieve a deficiency.

Fat - Differently Weighted

Fat - gravitationally challenged

Fat - horizontally challenged.

Fat - horizontally gifted

Fat - People of Mass

Fat - person of substance

Fictional / Mythological - ontologically challenged

Freshman - first-year student

Frog - amphibian American

Full of Crap - fecally plenary

Gang - Youth Group

Garbage Man - sanitation engineer

Gas Station Attendent - petroleum transfer technician

Geek, Nerd, whatever... - socially challenged

Ghetto / Barrio - Ethnically Homogenous Area

Hamburger - Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh

Handicapped - Differently Abled, Handi-Capable

Having PMS - cyclically challenged

Hearing Person - temporarily aurally abled

Homeless - outdoor urban dwellers

Homeless - residentially flexible

Homelessness - Mortgage-Free Living

Housebroken - Family Disfunction

Housewife - domestic engineer

Hunter - Animal Assassin

Hunter - Bambi Butcher

Hunter - Meat Mercenary

Ignorant - factually unencumbered

Ignorant - knowledge-based nonpossessor.

Incompetent - Differently Qualified

Incompetent - Specially Skilled

Incompetent - Uniquely Proficient

Insane People - Mental Explorers

Insane People - Selectively Perceptive

Insult - Emotional Rape

Janitor - sanitation engineer

Klutz - kinesthetically challenged

Large Nose - nasally gifted

Lazy - motivationally dispossessed

Lazy - motivationally deficient.

Learning Disability - Self-Paced Cognitive Ability

Library - Educational Resource Center

Logger - Wood Weasel

Logger - Paper Pirate

Logger -Treeslayer

Loser - Second Place

Loser - uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path

Man-hole - maintenance hole

Mankind - humankind

MANkind, HuMAN, PerSON - Earth Children

Mercy Killing - Euthanasia

Mercy Killing - Putting Down/To Sleep/Out of Misery

Messy - differently organized

Meter Maid - Parking enforcer

Midget / Dwarf - Little People

Midget / Dwarf - Vertically Challenged

Mute/Dumb - verbally challenged

Not with somebody at the moment - romantically challenged -

Off - energy-efficient

Old - chronologically gifted

Old Person / Elderly - Gerontologically Advanced

Old Person / Elderly - Senior Citizens

Panhandler - Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding.

Paper Bag - processed tree carcass

Perverted - Sexually dysfunctional.

Pimp-mobile / Low-rider - Culturally Responsive Transportation Option

Plagiarism - Previously Owned Prose

Po' - financially inept

Policeman, Policewoman - law inforcement officer

Poor - economically marginalized

Poor - Economically Unprepared

Poor - monetarily challenged

Postman - letter carrier

Pregnant - parasitically oppressed.

Prisoner - client of the correctional system

Prostitute - sex care provider

Psychobabble - constructivist feminist psychotherapy

Psychopath - socially misaligned

Racist - genetically discriminating

Really Big Nosed - nasally disadvantaged

Redneck - person of region

Redneck - rustically inclined

Refugees - asylum seekers

Road Kill - Vehicularly Compressed Maladapted Life Form

Rudeness - Tact Avoidance

Runny Nose - nasally gifted

Senile Bag o' Bones - Alzheimer's Victim

Serial-Killer - Person with difficult-to-meet needs.

Shoplifter - Cost-of-Living Adjustment Specialist

Short - vertically challenged

Sighted Person - temporarily visually abled

Slum - Economic Oppression Zone

**** - suffering from a sex addiction (female)

Someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone - morally handicapped

Spendthrift - negative saver.

Stained - creatively re-dyed

Steward, Stewardess - flight attendant

Stoned - Chemically inconvenienced.

Stud - suffering from a sex addiction (male)

Stupid - differently-brained

Stupid - intellectually impaired

The Elderly - Senior citizens

Thin - horizontally challenged

Thirsty - osmotically challenged

Tone Deaf - musically delayed

Too old/young - other aged

Too Tall - people of height

Tree-Hugger - environmental activist

Trees - Oxygen Exchange Units

Ugly - aesthetically challenged

Ugly - Cosmetically different.

Ugly - facially challenged

Unemployed - Involuntarily leisured.

Used Books - Recycled Books

Vagrant - Nonspecifically destinationed individual.

Vegetable - noble unconscious hero

Vice President - Post-Coronary Leader of the Free World

Vocal Minority - target equity group

Vomiting - Unplanned Reexamination of Recent Food Choices

Waiter, Waitress - food server

War-Monger - Peacekeeper, patriot

Welfare Bum - economically disadvantaged

Whaler - Blubber Lover

White - melanin-impoverished

White American - racially challenged

White Boy - rhythmically challenged

White Trash - caucasian culturally-disadvantaged

Wife - unpaid sex slave

Worst - least best.

Wrong - differently logical.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Politically Correct Terms For Females:

Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.

She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes verbally dyslexic.

She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal.

She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased.

She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus.

She does not have a hard body, she is anatomically inflexible.

She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive.

She does not have big hair, she is overly aerosoled.

She does not have big hooters, her cups runneth over.

She does not have great cleavage or a great rack, her breasts are centrally located.

She does not have sexy lips, she is collagen dependent.

She does not shave her legs, she experiences temporary stubble reduction.

She does not shop too much, she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys.

She does not snore, she is nasally repetitive.

She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement.

She does not wear too much makeup, she is cosmetically oversaturated.

She does not work out too much, she is an abdominal overachiever.

She does not: Get Drunk, She becomes Verbally Dyslexic

She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible.

She is not a bad driver, she is automotively challenged.

She is not A Gossip, She is a Verbal Terminator

She is not a gossip, she is a verbal terminator.

She is not a Perfect 10, she is numerically superior.

She is not cold or frigid, she is thermally incompatible.

She is not easy, she is horizontally accessible.

She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated.

She is not too skinny, she is skeletally prominent.

She will never gain weight, she will become a metabolic underachiever.

You do not ask her to dance, you request a precoital rhythmic experience.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Politically Correct Terms For Males:

He does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.

He does not: Hog the blankets He is: Thermally unappreciative

He is not: Unsophisticated He is: Socially malformed

He does not: Eat like a pig He suffers from: Reverse bulimia

He is not: A sex machine He is: Romantically automated

He is not a: Male chauvinist pig He has: Swine empathy

He is not: Quiet He is a: Conversational minimalist

You do not: Undress him with your eyes You have a: Introspective pornographic moment

He is not: Afraid of commitment He is: Monogamously challenged

He does not have a: Fabulous rear end He has achieved: Buttocks perfection

He is not: Stupid He suffers from: Minimal cranial development

He does not: Get lost all the time He discovers: Alternative destinations

He is not: Balding He is in: Follicle regression

You do not: Buy him a drink You initiate an: Alcohol-For-Conversation exchange

He does not: Fart and belch He is: Gastronomically expressive

His jeans are not: Too tight He is: Anatomically under circulated

He is not a: Redneck He is a: Genetically-related American

You do not: Kiss him You become: Facially conjoined

He is not a: Cradle robber He prefers: Generationally differential relationships

He does not get: Falling down drunk He becomes: Accidentally horizontal

He does not: Act like a total jerk He develops a: Case of rectal-cranial inversion

He is not: Short He is: Anatomically compact

He does not have a: Rich daddy He is a: Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion

He does not: Constantly talk about cars He has a: Vehicular addiction

He does not have a: Hot body He is: Physically combustible

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Aristocrates

*claps*

:lol:

I thought it was hilarious!

although I'm sorry to say that I don't agree with you on political correctness to be a conspiracy to silence the truth

Bald - folically independent

haha, theres SO many that have me lol'ing right now

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truth's last stand

My favorite is...some politician was caught lying, and he said he wasn't lying, he was just being "less than truthful."

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