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coughymachine

Child Adoption By Same-Sex Couples

Child Adoption By Same-Sex Couples  

48 members have voted

  1. 1. Should same-sex couples be allowed to adopt?

    • Yes, but only lesbian same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt
      1
    • Yes, but only gay same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt
      0
    • Both lesbian and gay same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt
      34
    • Neither lesbian nor gay same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt
      13
  2. 2. Should religiously-oriented adoption agencies be allowed to discriminate against same-sex couples because the law requires them to act against their beliefs?

    • Yes
      16
    • No
      32


95 posts in this topic

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coughymachine

At the tail end of January, Catholic adoption agencies in the UK failed in their bid to obtain exemption from gay rights laws. Their express concern is that placing children with same-sex couples goes against their fundamental beliefs. However, with the number of children awaiting adoption rising, child welfare groups have argued that any couple willing to offer a stable family environment should be considered for adoption, regardless of their sexual orientation. It seems the welfare groups’ pragmatism trumps the religious group’s ad hominem argument. I wonder whether this will prove in time to have been a generally sound decision. The bigot in me is telling me ‘no’; a quick look at the available information is inconclusive.

A relatively large number of studies dealing with the effect of same-sex parenting on child development have been conducted. It’s no surprise that those referenced by child welfare groups have a different focus and reach different conclusions to those referenced by religious groups. Here’s a concise summary of their findings.

Pro same-sex arguments

The sexual orientation of parents does not appear to have an adverse effect on a child’s psychological well-being.

The sexual orientation of parents does not appear to affect a child’s social development, though a small number of studies did show that, whilst children of both same-sex and heterosexual parents were equally likely to be teased, the former group were more likely to be teased about their family or sexuality.

The sexual orientation of parents does not appear to affect a child’s cognitive and intellectual development.

The parenting skills of same-sex parents appear to be at least as good as those of heterosexual parents.

The sexual orientation of parents does not appear to have an impact on a child’s gender identity.

The sexual orientation of parents does not appear to determine the sexual orientation of their children.

Additionally, research shows that children from single-parent families experience a higher rate of negative outcomes (emotional and behavioural difficulties; lower rates of academic achievement; teen pregnancy; and anti-social or criminal behaviour) than those raised in two-parent families.

Anti same-sex arguments

Of course, many of the opposing arguments, particularly from the religious fraternity, stem from the notion that homosexuality is intrinsically wrong. If homosexuality itself is wrong, then it clearly follows that same-sex parenting is wrong, especially since children of same-sex parents are more likely to accept and act upon their own same-sex desires than those of heterosexual parents.

These groups also doubt the findings of the studies referenced by the pro same sex group, and point out that the research carried out to date has primarily looked at lesbian parenting. They believe this gives a grossly distorted view and conceals the dangers they say are associated with gay parenting. The Christian conservative Family Research Council, for example, asserts that there is a significant correlation between homosexuality and paedophilia, particularly in men. They argue that children in same-sex families are at great risk since evidence shows that male homosexuals commit a disproportionately large number of child sex offences. They base this argument on the fact that, whilst between 2% and 4% of men are homosexual, between 25% and 40% of those attracted to children prefer boys.

So, I want to know: Should same-sex couples be allowed to adopt? Does it matter whether the couple is male or female? Should religiously-oriented adoption agencies be allowed to discriminate because the law requires them to act against their beliefs?

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Bill Hill

I couldn’t care less what homosexuals do together in the bedroom, however I don't think they should be allowed to adopt. That is, until more research has been conducted by science into why someone becomes homosexuals- Is it psychological or genetic? Imo I think some homosexuals might have a genetic preposition while other homosexuals I suspect might be purely psychological but that’s only my opinion because Science hasn’t found a gay gene yet.

The Gay rights movement doesn't even seem to be interested in finding an answer- in fact they seem to be very sciencephobic- as we’ve seen in Australia just last year, the gay rights movement stopped an unbiased scientific research project looking into the subject.

See if homosexuality is purely psychological or at least some of them are- then giving a child to two 'psychological' gays is not the way forward- because by default they've already demonstrated they wouldn't make good parents. Ie they’re mental with an unusual sexual fetish which they themselves have established is central to their personal identity and subculture.

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Staari

I voted: Both lesbian and gay same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt

and no discrimination ....

My reason .... Im thinking more about the orphans .... without parents and without a good home .... they didnt ask to be put there and I think they will be far better off in the hands of even one parent ... male or female or even both, same sex, etc.

If a gay couple want to help a child and give it a good home, why not??? what is so bad about that?

Later on in life they can explain to the child whats going on and how it is .... at least that child had a chance to be happy regardless of his or her "parents" sex!!! They learn to love .... and I think the only time they might find a problem is when they become teenagers and get the "oh world feel sorry for me" attitude but deep down inside they know they're wrong.

Id say rather let the gay couples male and female (doesnt matter which) adopt the children and give them a good home!

Rather get a chance than nothing at all.

~*~

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Bill Hill

Id say rather let the gay couples male and female (doesnt matter which) adopt the children and give them a good home!

Rather get a chance than nothing at all.

I would've agreed with you but it seems gay social workers or those who support gay rights have been up to some 'dirty tricks' to strike off heterosexual couples from the adoption waiting list.

19th January 2007

One in every 20 children adopted from care goes to live with a gay couple, official figures revealed yesterday.

The number of adoptions by same sex couples is rising by more than 50 per cent a year in many parts of the country, encouraged by social workers.

The figures - obtained from local authorities under freedom of information rules - show that gay adoption has become common in the four years since Tony Blair's reforms first made it possible for homosexual couples legally to adopt a child.

Advice from the councils' umbrella body, the Local Government Association, has praised authorities that encourage gay adoption and instructed social workers to strike off from their list of potential adoptive parents anybody who disagrees with gay adoption.

Nice :angry:

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Edited by billyhill

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Staari
I would've agreed with you but it seems gay social workers or those who support gay rights have been up to some 'dirty tricks' to strike off heterosexual couples from the adoption waiting list.

19th January 2007

One in every 20 children adopted from care goes to live with a gay couple, official figures revealed yesterday.

The number of adoptions by same sex couples is rising by more than 50 per cent a year in many parts of the country, encouraged by social workers.

The figures - obtained from local authorities under freedom of information rules - show that gay adoption has become common in the four years since Tony Blair's reforms first made it possible for homosexual couples legally to adopt a child.

Advice from the councils' umbrella body, the Local Government Association, has praised authorities that encourage gay adoption and instructed social workers to strike off from their list of potential adoptive parents anybody who disagrees with gay adoption.

Nice :angry:

link

You know you do have a point .... and it is unfair ..... but I feel for the children ... to me it doesnt matter who gets the child as long as that child gets a good home! I dont know .... *clouded thoughts*

~*~

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Talon

I voted in favour of gays (male or female) adpoting, I have no problem with gay people and don't understand why there is so much bigotry and hatred aimed at them.

And religiously-oriented adoption agencies should be illegal let alone allowed to discriminate against people because their thunder-god made up by cave-men thinks its wrong.

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louie

most of my friends who are in same sex realtionships are very well educated, good carrers, own homes etc etc, so why would they not be allowed to adopt when any drug/alcholic or uneducated living in near poverty can have children leave them to run the streets, and it can be ignored.

let them adopt they could give a lot of kids a good start in life.

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Lord Umbarger

Even though I think that mixed sex couples are the ideal arrangements, I think that most would agree, same sex couples are far better than an orphanage. It's kind of like asking: "Should single parents be allowed to raise a child?" Sure, they should but, most would agree that it is less than ideal. There are many advantages to having a loving Father and Mother in the house that one simply can not offer in a single parent home. The same can be said of gay/lesbian couples adopting.

As far as should religeous organisations be allowed to discriminate? Yeah, I think so. Giving your child up for adoption is a hard choice for any parent. It usually is based on the fact that they do not feel that they could provide the things that the kid needs. A parent may feel that a faith based upbringing is better for a child but, not be able to afford the child. Maybe they have addictin problems. Knowing that an organisation will see to it that the child will have that can ease the decision process. In years later, the parent can still feel like it might have been for the best and have less regret.

Rather it offends ones sences or not, many people would have serious misgivings about putting their child up for adoption if they feel that there is a chance that a gay couple might be the parents. Though it is not a primary concern for some, it is for others. The option should be available.

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SilverCougar

Let same sex couples adopt. There really is not proof that a child raised by same sex parents will group up homosexual. There is, however, more evidence supporting that it's genetics.

But yes, when it comes down to it (and having been in the system) It's far better for a child to be in a home with two loving and careing parents.. then foster care/an orphanage.

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Atheist God

One of my best freinds was raised by a lesbian couple and he turned out alright.

Fact is when a lot of people think of family they think of the classice one man and woman arrangements, you know the nuclear family structure. However times are changing, we now live in an age equality or we are supposed to I say not only should gay/lesbian couples be allowed to adopt but any organization that says no to them should be penalized indefinatly. It should be a staple of our culture as North Americans not to tolerate intolerance. If a christian adoption agency says no to the couple based on who they sleep with as opposed to other issues like income it should not be tolerated.

As far as should religeous organisations be allowed to discriminate? Yeah, I think so. Giving your child up for adoption is a hard choice for any parent. It usually is based on the fact that they do not feel that they could provide the things that the kid needs. A parent may feel that a faith based upbringing is better for a child but, not be able to afford the child. Maybe they have addictin problems. Knowing that an organisation will see to it that the child will have that can ease the decision process. In years later, the parent can still feel like it might have been for the best and have less regret.

If a parent for whatever reason gives away their child then they have no right to say who gets the child. Again like I said above tolerating intolerance needs to stop. If one group can discriminate again'st another based purely on who they sleep with, deny them the right to adopt that child is that fair?

I couldn’t care less what homosexuals do together in the bedroom, however I don't think they should be allowed to adopt. That is, until more research has been conducted by science into why someone becomes homosexuals- Is it psychological or genetic?

This has been studied and extensivly too. To put it simply kids are born gay or straight, the fact that homosexuality has been observed in other mammals not just humans as well leads people to beleive that this is all genetic.

Imo I think some homosexuals might have a genetic preposition while other homosexuals I suspect might be purely psychological but that’s only my opinion because Science hasn’t found a gay gene yet.

Studies in Europe last year have proven that gay people are no different from you or I with the exception that they are not only psychologically attracted to the same sex but chemically as well. Gay men for example are attracted to male pheramones as opposed to female. I do not beleive that there is a 'gay' gene i beleive it to be as natural as being straight.

See if homosexuality is purely psychological or at least some of them are- then giving a child to two 'psychological' gays is not the way forward- because by default they've already demonstrated they wouldn't make good parents.

Gays have been adopting in Canada for years and as I said one of my best freinds was raised by a lesbian couple, he turned out fine. The whole 'psychological' idea is based on religious psuedoscience. The only people I have heard say this is a psychological problem is those who oppose even gay marraige and I can only imagine how they feel about adoption.

Ie they’re mental with an unusual sexual fetish which they themselves have established is central to their personal identity and subculture.

So because someone sleeps with another member of the same sex which to you is an 'unusual sexual fetish' this makes them bad parents how exactly? Fact is everyone has sexual fetishes some of them are pretty strange like the whole pain for pleasure crowd etc... There are lots of straight people who have the craziest fetishes I've ever seen yet they have kids.

===

Bottom line here folks is that everyone irregardless of their sexual orientation is entitled to the same rights as you including child adoption. People who don't agree with my last sentence are bigots, the only reason gays are discriminated again'st is because ignorant people prefer to do what and out dated peice of fiction tell them.

There needs to be a line in whats tolerated or not. Shouting profane slogans at a dead soldiers funeral like that hate gay church should be not tolerated. We should never have to tolerate intolerance in a modern society.

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=Jak=

I am against Adoption.

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louie
I am against Adoption.

So what you would rather leave kids in instutions where they run the risk of being abused ny carers, as in many cases in Ireland, England.and other countrys,.

yeah i bet that is better than the kids being reared in a loving enviroment.

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SilverCougar
I am against Adoption.

If it wasn't for adoption... I would have stayed in foster care. However, thanks to adoption, I was raised by two wonderful people and had a life I never would have had. So why be against kids being given a chance to have a better life?

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Bone_Collector

WHAT? I can't believe people are saying yes here. :o Homosexuality is not only through nature, it is also through nurture. Childhood is a very imortant part of life, it is basically the phase in life where basic ideas form, character is determined and it has a direct effect on what you will be when you grow up into an adult. I am not against same sex marraiges, I just don't like to see kids with messed up ideas on life and relationships.

Edited by Bone_Collector

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RougeRat

There is nothing wrong or messed up with being gay. Like someone else said, gay people are completely like straight people. I rather children go into loving homes than have no parents ever. I don't see the big deal since so many children raised by straight parents come out really messed up. It's not like every straight couple is perfect. People are people and the only way your kids is going to get messed up is if you are a really bad parent (straight OR gay). Honestly, if there were a choice between the two, would someone rather a violent crack addicted straight couple adopt instead a child instead of a gay couple with no abusive drug problems. Or maybe the child should just be thrown off a bridge and killed because it's better than getting "the gays" :rolleyes: Also, kids aren't going to turn gay unless they were born that way or emotionally disturbed for other reasons (e.g a young girl being raped and beaten by an older man-she may learn to resent men yadda yadda)

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louie
WHAT? I can't believe people are saying yes here. :o Homosexuality is not only through nature, it is also through nurture. Childhood is a very imortant part of life, it is basically the phase in life where basic ideas form, character is determined and it has a direct effect on what you will be when you grow up into an adult. I am not against same sex marraiges, I just don't like to see kids with messed up ideas on life and relationships.

so what about kids who grow up with alcholic parents, or abusive parents, or religous nuts, do they nessecarely turn out the same as thier parents.

and this coming from a person in india where women are second class ctizans, amd those of lower caste are living in abject poverty, your people dont even look after adults never mind children, when i toured there i was hoffified on how many kids were living on the streets, actually whole familys living on the streets and beaches....

and you rekon 2 people of the same sex cant provide a good home for kids. :mellow:

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Bone_Collector
There is nothing wrong or messed up with being gay. Like someone else said, gay people are completely like straight people.

I rather children go into loving homes than have no parents ever. I don't see the big deal since so many children raised by

straight parents come out really messed up. It's not like every straight couple is perfect. People are people and the only

way your kids is going to get messed up is if you are a really bad parent (straight OR gay). Honestly, if there were a

choice between the two, would someone rather a violent crack addicted straight couple adopt instead a child instead of a

gay couple with no abusive drug problems. Or maybe the child should just be thrown off a bridge and killed because it's

better than getting "the gays" :rolleyes: Also, kids aren't going to turn gay unless they were born that way or emotionally

disturbed for other reasons (e.g a young girl being raped and beaten by an older man-she may learn to resent men yadda yadda)

Being gay is messed up or not, I am not the one to judge but most believe it is, even gays. I was only referring to a child's mind getting messed up with the conflict of ideas in his head. What will the kid think? Dad and dad? Mom and mom? or Dad and mom as he sees in the outside world? Which would be the straight way for him? It will be emotionally disturbing, it's called child psychology. Kids at their tender age get easily influenced by the world around them and it is in their best interests not to expose them to diverse and complicating issues of life so soon.

And what about the straight parents talk? I never said all straight parents are perfect. Straight parents (with no drug, alcohol problems and such) will be able to instil some basic and universally more acceptable ideas into children when compared to homosexual couples. Maybe after kids are say 16 or so, but I definetely wouldn't recommend same sex adoptions before that age.

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Bone_Collector
so what about kids who grow up with alcholic parents, or abusive parents, or religous nuts, do they nessecarely turn out the same as thier parents.

Those kids have issues too, only of a different kind. The same can be said about homosexual couples too, they can also

be abusive, alcoholic and such. Where did I say that it was okay to have abusive or alcholic parents?

and this coming from a person in india where women are second class ctizans, amd those of lower caste are living in abject poverty, your people dont even look after adults never mind children, when i toured there i was hoffified on how many kids were living on the streets, actually whole familys living on the streets and beaches....

and you rekon 2 people of the same sex cant provide a good home for kids. :mellow:

:huh: Hey, what about India? Is India the topic?

India is a very culturally and economically diverse nation with a population problem. Yes, there are still kids and families living on the street and did I say we're happy about it? The government and several social organizations are doing what they can but there are about a billion people in India just for you to know. Women are greatly respected in India and we have great family values. You have extereme examples in every country, in a hugely populated country you'll see more examples but that doesn't mean you can generalize as you wish.

For Christ's sake! People are not poor because of their caste, they are poor because they are uneducated and unemployed. There are enough oppurtunities for eligible professionals in India.

Edited by Bone_Collector

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RougeRat
Being gay is messed up or not, I am not the one to judge but most believe it is, even gays.

Thank you for speaking for "most gays". I'll be sure to tell my aunt that she secretely believes that she is messed up. :rolleyes:

universally more acceptable ideas

Universally acceptable ideas like ...judging people harshly based on their sexual orientation even if it is completely harmless?

it's called child psychology

And you apparently, are not a child psychologist. Really, do some research on the effects of kids being raised with gay parents. It's not bad. Kids learn to grow up with a whole different view on life.

Also, I highly reccomend this book to anyone who doesnt know anyone with gay parents. http://www.amazon.com/Families-Like-Mine-C...7499445-6698867

The author, herself grew up with a gay father and seems perfectly normal. Hell, the kids I knew who did grow up with gay parents didn't turn out to be insane. And guess what? None of them grew up gay! How amaaaazing!

Honestly, people thinking that gay people do not deserve equal rights is absolutely sick. How are people still such biggots (and yes please tell me just what you are if you don't consider that being a biggot) We are in the 21st century. I always hear it and I can't wait for it to happen, but years and years from now everyone is going to look back and think wtf was the big deal really?

Also, would it be healthier for a gay child to grow up with oppresive religious parents instead of a gay couple who understands what it's like...because yes, children can be gay. Gay adults were once gay children. Be amazed!

Edit: Just wanted to add, the reason why children who are raised by gay parents and gay children feel so alone and persecuted is because of biggots. If there were no biggots in the world the world would be a marvelous place and people wouldn't have to feel ashamed of being gay.

Edited by RougeRat

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Xavie

First of all, homosexuality is NOT a virus which can be passed on to others. You are either born homosexual or not.

I wont pretend to know the exact mind set or anything, but through my live I got to meet many homosexual people and wow guess what? They are people like anyone else. Some are kind, some are not, some are friendly some not so much, some are hard working people with good values and some are not.

The whole point of any adoption should be placing a child in a loving and stable home. Patents sexual preference shouldn’t be an issue.

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Saint

If adoptive parents can offer a child security, love and a decent education and life then there is no reason on earth why they should not be allowed to adopt, whether they are gay, straight or bloody hermaphrodites!!

And no discrimination should be alowed by 'religious' adoption agencies, whose message is love but whose action is hate!

:gun::gun::gun::td:

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Bone_Collector
Universally acceptable ideas like ...judging people harshly based on their sexual orientation even if it is completely harmless?

I'm just speaking of their parental abilities here, not their entire character.

And you apparently, are not a child psychologist.

Young children are pretty much single concept minded. They begin to question their surroundings and situations as they suddenly begin to realize that there is more to the world than themselves. Unfortunately, they are also, at this age, bombarded with an influx of hormones that quite literally begins to re-arrange their brains, resulting in various mental changes, including changes in attitude, temperament and reasoning ability.

Children ask questions when they are exposed to rather strange situations. Is it right to be gay? What is straight? What is not? What am I? What gender am I supposed to love when I grow up? You can't get them to stop. Have you ever tried to explain something to a child, and had them coming up with the strangest scenarios imaginable -scenarios that seem utterly unimaginable to you? These questions will not necessarily be asked for the purpose of expanding their knowledge, they will be asked majorly for the purpose of creating one specific idea that they can memorize. They aren't analyzing information, but rather they are restricting it; they are isolating the one concept that they are capable of handling, in an effort to not lose the entire lesson.

Kids when exposed to confusing ideas wonder about different alternatives, but the reason why the questions are so random and seemingly irrelevant is because, at their age, they don't have the ability that older children have, to ask different questions and categorize them as seperate ideas and different situations. Adults however, when asking questions, are capable of keeping multiple concepts in their heads; children don't have that capacity to juggle multiple ideas, so it's much better if they have to focus on one at a time.

So it's not advisable to expose kids to different and conflicting ideas and confuse them at a younger age.

The author, herself grew up with a gay father and seems perfectly normal. Hell, the kids I knew who did grow up with gay parents didn't turn out to be insane. And guess what? None of them grew up gay! How amaaaazing!

All problems are not so simple, straight forward or openly visible -some problems are complex and can have a profound effect later in life. Kids is an unsuitable environment are known to develop issues later in life.

Honestly, people thinking that gay people do not deserve equal rights is absolutely sick.

How are people still such biggots (and yes please tell me just what you are if you don't consider that being a biggot) We are in the 21st century. I always hear it and I can't wait for it to happen, but years and years from now everyone is going to look back and think wtf was the big deal really?

You see, there is nothing universally right or wrong in this world. There are no universal standards as such. What a majority of the world thinks to be right, is generally accepted as right at that time.

I just stated my opinion, nothing more. Also, I did not call you a bigot for having a different opinion.

Edited by Bone_Collector

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louie

I grew up in a normal family, ( if there is such a thing, hehehehe) an my uncle who is 8 years older than me is gay so i spent my whole life meeting his boyfriends and the group of friends he hung out with. and i never once thought to myself "well they are all gay so i must do the same". of course at one point i thought do i like boys or girls and for me it was girls.

so the point about the sexuality the kids grow up with is poppycock, unless the child is brainwashed and if so any person who does that shouldent have kids.

I also feel that gay couples should be allowed to marry, They have as much right to be as miseriable as the rest of us married folk. :lol::D:rolleyes:

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RougeRat
Children ask questions when they are exposed to rather strange situations. Is is right to be gay? What is straight? What is not? What am I? What gender am I supposed to love when I grow up? You can't get them to stop. Have you ever tried to explain something to a child, and had them coming up with the strangest scenarios imaginable -scenarios that seem utterly unimaginable to you? These questions will not neccessarily be asked for the purpose of expanding their knowledge, they will be asked majorly for the purpose of creating one specific idea that they can memorize. They aren't analyzing information, but rather they are restricting it; they are isolating the one concept that they are capable of handling, in an effort to not lose the entire lesson.

When children ask questions you should answer them honestly. Kids are not going to be gay unless they are born that way (or like I said traumatized into hateing the opposite sex which can happen with gay or straight parents)

Is it right to be gay? My answer would be "Sure why not. Some people might not like you, but those people are ignorant and are not worth your time. You'll find that there are a lot of people in the world that discriminate. I want you to grow up to be a loving fair person who will give others a chance to prove themselves as decent human beings despite their race, gender or sexual orientation. "

What is straight? "Being attracted to someone the opposite gender as yourself"

What is not? "Having feelings for someone the same gender as yourself"

"What am I/What gender am I suppose to love while growing up? "Only you can answer that and I'll love you the same no matter what."

Easy. And, gay people apparantly can raise perfectly normal children so I fail to see the problem. The only problem is other people discriminating. Really, what is wrong with a child asking any of those questions. I think they are good questions to ask. Discussing sexuality with your child really is a good thing and should help you get to know your child better and make them feel that it's ok to come to you with these questions. What if your kid is gay? They need someone to talk to because they are not going to magically become un-gay.

Good parents, no gay or straight, are in no way providing a unsuitable environment by providing love and care for their child. It's people on the outside that make it messy for them.

Edit: This almost reminds me of the debate on whether mixing races is good. I mean a white woman marries a black man and has a kid who is confused about his or her race. "What am I?" "What am I supposed to be" "People don't like black people?" "I'm not white enough?" "I'm not black enough" "Why is my hair different?" "How am I suppose to act" "Am I white or black" "people won't be my friend?" "Everyone says I'm different" "What do I tell people when they ask me my race?"

Kids like that can have it tough growing up, but no one in their right mind is going to say that it's wrong.

Edited by RougeRat

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RougeRat
I also feel that gay couples should be allowed to marry, They have as much right to be as miseriable as the rest of us married folk

Of course! It's no fair that they get to escape that :D

Really though, plenty of gay couples live together for most of their lives. They basically are married, just not legally. I don't see the problem since it's not bothering anyone but themselves.

Why are people so nosey that they would care about whats happening to 2 consenting adults. If 2 men or 2 women want to get married, then really, who gives a crap! It's not your life.

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