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Sherapy

spare the rod ..spoil the child

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Sherapy

spare the rod spoil the child.. But really what does this mean and what are the implications of punishing as a means to correct undesirable behaviors, from the homes of those that use this method as a parent to to the prisons and laws of a society are we solving the issues we have or are we firmly rooting them in our human physche to our own detrement????....

discuss......

as a humnaity our focus is towards punsihing behaviors to change them , it is thought and its really a tradition that punishing corrects behaviors, its almost a rite of passage ......

yet from a objective view it seems that the observable proof that punishing does nothing to change behavior is loud and clear.

yet .we continue to put alot of energy into societal problems with the same energy that has created them to begin with....

are we in too deep????.

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Skim Milky

yes, things were very different 2000 years ago. there are influences on the bible from those times that i dont find relevant today. i will never spoit my children. i hate spoiled brats. they never appreciate anything, because theyve always had everything given to them as they see fit. they dont have the mental capacity to know whats good for them. im not saying they should do without, but you cant let your children boss you around.

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GoddessWhispers

When you think about it, god isn't non-violent. So why are we surprised rearing a child with violence is advocated by god!? Fear and intimidation, violence and intolerance. Dysfunction, even in the domain of heaven.

I think beating children so as to get them to fear and obey, is insane, primitive and contemptible. Whether it's advocated by god or unfit violent parent(s). Abuse never inspires respect for the abuser. Rather, it inspires contempt, because abusive relationship is contemptible. My dad has always said, he would never have anything or anyone in his circle that he had to beat, to get them to behave. I agree.

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Sherapy
When you think about it, god isn't non-violent. So why are we surprised rearing a child with violence is advocated by god!? Fear and intimidation, violence and intolerance. Dysfunction, even in the domain of heaven.

I think beating children so as to get them to fear and obey, is insane, primitive and contemptible. Whether it's advocated by god or unfit violent parent(s). Abuse never inspires respect for the abuser. Rather, it inspires contempt, because abusive relationship is contemptible. My dad has always said, he would never have anything or anyone in his circle that he had to beat, to get them to behave. I agree.

I find punishment in any form incomprehensable... may i ask how about punishments as as taking stuff away, brow beating ,yelling, time outs, smacks, critisim and threatening to hit....as a tool in parentiing???

..I actually know of a kid that his dad does this smacks him on the head to illustrate a point..... and the boy has said i can't

wait to get big i'm gonna stop him. or my dad is an a*******......

I was at the park yesterday and a little one of 2 was amazed at the sprinklers and was so curious and decdied to take those chubby little legs and run through it was beautiful what a oppourtunity to create a memory to enrich the childs life it was also 90 degrees out..... my freind and i were observing it. giggling with delight ourselves.....mom and her few friends were engrossed in a converstion and from a few feet away never go to the child but instead stand screaming to litlle timmy if he dosent' come here right now she was gonna spank him and started the count.....hmmm...

Edited by Supra Sheri

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Skim Milky

you can discipline children without beating them.

there has to be two sides of everything

violence is proof of peace.

evil is proof of good

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Beckys_Mom
you can discipline children without beating them.

Correct

I detest anyone that beats a child

I hate reading about religious nutters, that have beaten foster kids....

One lady believed she was Gods messenger...she took on foster kids, she shoved sticks down their throats, when they vomited, she made them eat it and she beat the life out of them...telling them she was saving their souls, this was Gods wish (read it in the Sun newspaper a few weeks ago..you can look it up on the SUN website)

COBBLERS!!!

Not just religious nutters...but anyone that beats children, all need strung up...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

a month ago, this man and woman where sentenced for 15 years..for abusing kids.....they used to line the kids up, and beat them...for taking too much cheese in their sandwiches ect...it got too much, that when they reported this to social services, nothing was done............so one of the kids killed himself as a cry for help for the rest of the kids....it took that one kid to kill himself, in order to SAVE the rest of his brothers and sisters :blink:

the man and woman that did this, only got 15 odd year between them wtf??

Edited by Beckys_Mom

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aussiemermaid

Rules and regualtaions are in everybodys life, from the time you need to get to work, to paying for you groceries and not speeding.

I believe you need to let children know what they can and cant do what needs to be done and sometimes even how it needs to be done. How parents do this is very different. My father hit me and my sisters- only ever on the bum or upper legs- and yelled all the time. We grew up scared of him, but we respected him. My mum on the other hand was a little bit more lenient so we knew we could get away with more from her! Kids are cunning and work those things out quickely).

I believe there needs to be a consequence for doing something wrong- like drawing on the wall for example or disobying an order like brush your teeth.

But what makes me angry is when a child see's something, gets excited and runs (obviously without thinking) and the parent runs after the child, screaming, then proceds to hit the child for "running away"- which is like Sheri and the sprinkler!

Children need to be taught was is right from wrong and i think many parents believe their children already know right from wrong.

We as adults know that we shouldnt throw stones, but kids dont really.

We as adults may look at a husband who beats up his wife as wrong- but then we may go home and hit our kids- IMO its kinda the same, with some differences.

I know i dont want to hit my kids, but rather try to empahise and explain right from wrong and why thigs are right and other wrong. Of course im still for time outs-so the kid can settle down and have a bit of alone time (thats what i like when im angry)

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GoddessWhispers
I find punishment in any form incomprehensable... may i ask how about punishments as as taking stuff away, brow beating ,yelling, time outs, smacks, critisim and threatening to hit....as a tool in parentiing???

..I actually know of a kid that his dad does this smacks him on the head to illustrate a point..... and the boy has said i can't

wait to get big i'm gonna stop him. or my dad is an a*******......

I was at the park yesterday and a little one of 2 was amazed at the sprinklers and was so curious and decdied to take those chubby little legs and run through it was beautiful what a oppourtunity to create a memory to enrich the childs life it was also 90 degrees out..... my freind and i were observing it. giggling with delight ourselves.....mom and her few friends were engrossed in a converstion and from a few feet away never go to the child but instead stand screaming to litlle timmy if he dosent' come here right now she was gonna spank him and started the count.....hmmm...

I saw a man verbally abusing his son during a baseball game, in the parking lot. What I presume to be the mom, in the group of three other women that stood just to the side of this confrontation, stayed silent but looked shyly , every now and then, toward the man as he continued his tirade. Even grabbing the boy and smacking him in the side of the head, intermittently. Finally, since no one in his company did anything, I stepped out of the line and stepped forward , aligning myself eye to eye with the dad, next time he happened to look up, from looking down on his target. I simply stood there, not saying a word. When he saw me, we had this staring contest for a bit, he then released his son, turned toward the women and they left the stadium area. Getting in their SUV and driving away.

I witnessed 4 people intimidated by one screaming coward. I was amazed and felt bad for the boy, because, as you said Sheri, that's the kind of father that causes the abused son to survive it all, just so one day they'll be old enough to beat the coward into a coma. And while that may be equal justice, for some, what it truly is is a horrific legacy of generational abuse, because sure enough that abused boy/man, will mimic what he holds in contempt, if/when he becomes a dad, unless he works hard to release the bitterness and let it change him so that he never becomes like dad. Even in wanting revenge, against him in a like manner as what was received as a child.

I find verbal assault, (threats, and all that you asked about) just as insulting to a childs sense of self and character, as I do physical assault. There's nothing as low as an adult that calls their child names, so as to get them to obey. What's especially contemptible is when that abusive parent is surprised their child doesn't respect them. How does one respect abuse, exactly!?

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Beckys_Mom
Rules and regualtaions are in everybodys life, from the time you need to get to work, to paying for you groceries and not speeding.

I believe you need to let children know what they can and cant do what needs to be done and sometimes even how it needs to be done. How parents do this is very different. My father hit me and my sisters- only ever on the bum or upper legs- and yelled all the time. We grew up scared of him, but we respected him. My mum on the other hand was a little bit more lenient so we knew we could get away with more from her! Kids are cunning and work those things out quickely).

I believe there needs to be a consequence for doing something wrong- like drawing on the wall for example or disobying an order like brush your teeth.

But what makes me angry is when a child see's something, gets excited and runs (obviously without thinking) and the parent runs after the child, screaming, then proceds to hit the child for "running away"- which is like Sheri and the sprinkler!

Children need to be taught was is right from wrong and i think many parents believe their children already know right from wrong.

We as adults know that we shouldnt throw stones, but kids dont really.

We as adults may look at a husband who beats up his wife as wrong- but then we may go home and hit our kids- IMO its kinda the same, with some differences.

I know i dont want to hit my kids, but rather try to empahise and explain right from wrong and why thigs are right and other wrong. Of course im still for time outs-so the kid can settle down and have a bit of alone time (thats what i like when im angry)

You say you respected your dad regardless....but you respected your mom too right??

I too was beaten by my dad...I found it hard to forgive and respect him

but I did in the end as i got older

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MissMelsWell

If you're talking about no punishment, no consequences from doing something wrong, then it's not teaching what the real world is like.

If I don't show up for work one day and don't call or lie about why I'm going to be gone, I will be punished, my pay will be docked, I'll be sent to HR to discuss my apparent disregard for my peers and manager, I could be fired.

What we have here is bad behavior, and the resulting punishment. Kids have to learn that there are consequences for their actions, and they must learn that very early in life or they will make abysmal employees and members of society.

You have no idea what was going on in that woman or that childs life, you have no idea if the kid had previously been ill with a cold that week and didnt want her child getting wet and prolonging the cold, or if they were on their way to another errand and she didn't want to haul a clammy wet baby around (for his comfort, he shouldn't be soaked)... you simply have no idea what her reasons were for telling that child to get out of the water.

It's never ever ok to beat a child... not ever. I'm not even wild on spanking, I don't like it, but I will be honest and upfront that I have swatted other people's children on the hiney for one reason and one reason only... The child refused to give me their full attention and the situtation was turning dangerous. A good swat gets their attention really quick. I'd rather momentarily startle them than allow them to be run over by a careening mail truck or falling off a dock into a fridgid lake or any million other dangerous situtations.

Some children respond very well to "conditioning" if they know that they will lose a priviledge or will be "grounded" if they do something wrong, that's beneficial. It's not beneficial if the child doesn't respond to that type of punishment. Some children respond super well to rewards and thrive on those methods of "gold stars" and a reward at the end of the week. It helps make them feel responsible and in control of their own lives. Other younger children respond to "time out" because it forces them to calm themselves down where they might otherwise have just become more and more active spinning out of control. I see this with physically active children. It seems to work less well with quiet docile kids.

There are a MILLION ways to parent a child, as parents, you should be aware of what you're child responds positively to... and go with that.

Ya can't beat them though, and I think everyone knows that.

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Beckys_Mom

Yup, it's against the law to beat your kid

I also agre that, verbal abuse is also bad, it can damage a child for life...if you constantly yell and call your kid horrid names and pick on the kid a lot, putting the child down ect..........the child will wind up hating you....and as you age..and you mellow out, you wind up regretting it...and wonder why your kid has grown up to hate you and stays away from you

Edited by Beckys_Mom

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aussiemermaid
You say you respected your dad regardless....but you respected your mom too right??

I too was beaten by my dad...I found it hard to forgive and respect him

but I did in the end as i got older

Oh yeah! oh course i did!. We used to run to mum when dad yelled!

I now live with my father (as my parents are divorced) and he annoys the crap out of me at times but i wont let him put it over me (as im an adult) and i believewe have equal respect and rights regardless that he is my father and im his daughter- i support myself in everyway.

I see my mum all the time, but dont live with her because my sisters are very spoilt and $hit me and get their way all the time- mainly because my mum protected them. What they are allowed to do now, i was never allowed to do when i was their age! And now because my dad only sees them once a week, or when he can- he spoils them too now!

Being the eldest i was treated differently- more was expected from me (i had a part time job when i was 14 {because i had to}, and my sister who is 16 still doesnt have a job), and i was treated very different- and my parents cant see that- but other people can (like my aunty).

So that goes with saying you should treat children all the same with EMPATHY!!!! try to unerstand what this child is understanding and comprehending!

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Beckys_Mom
Oh yeah! oh course i did!. We used to run to mum when dad yelled!

I now live with my father (as my parents are divorced) and he annoys the crap out of me at times but i wont let him put it over me (as im an adult) and i believewe have equal respect and rights regardless that he is my father and im his daughter- i support myself in everyway.

I see my mum all the time, but dont live with her because my sisters are very spoilt and $hit me and get their way all the time- mainly because my mum protected them. What they are allowed to do now, i was never allowed to do when i was their age! And now because my dad only sees them once a week, or when he can- he spoils them too now!

Being the eldest i was treated differently- more was expected from me (i had a part time job when i was 14 {because i had to}, and my sister who is 16 still doesnt have a job), and i was treated very different- and my parents cant see that- but other people can (like my aunty).

So that goes with saying you should treat children all the same with EMPATHY!!!! try to unerstand what this child is understanding and comprehending!

I was 24 yrs old, when my dad told me how sorry he was for all the violence he delievered, and now that he has grandkids ...he feels its like a second chance and now is a completely different man.....too different, and doesnt believe in hitting kids anymore...my dad is still in his mid 50's....but back when he was a lot younger, he would have unleashed hell

He hated it too, because my mom was always letting us away with stuff, and he used to get at my mom, telling her, that it was unfair that he;'d be the only one to teach disicpline to us kids.....it stressed him out also....I recall him saying this a lot when i was a kid

I also remember times when my mom would be gone for the day, and we would be alone with our dad..........what was strange about it all was --> he never ever got mad or hit us, in fact he was fun to be around when my mom wasnt there interfering all the time........... he said, because we feared him...we KNEW how to behave around him, when mommy was gone for the day...so he felt relieved, and liked it better when she wernt about lol...he was kinder to us....funny that init???

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Michelle

There are many non Christians that feel that it's okay to spank/punish a child. Unfortunately, those people won't be heard because most will not touch the spirituality section with a ten foot pole.

In case you haven't noticed, you have a very limited audience in this section.

As for me, I don't have any kids, but I see many times when I think a parent should be enforcing some sort of punishment as opposed to letting them run around like little heathens.

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Sherapy
I saw a man verbally abusing his son during a baseball game, in the parking lot. What I presume to be the mom, in the group of three other women that stood just to the side of this confrontation, stayed silent but looked shyly , every now and then, toward the man as he continued his tirade. Even grabbing the boy and smacking him in the side of the head, intermittently. Finally, since no one in his company did anything, I stepped out of the line and stepped forward , aligning myself eye to eye with the dad, next time he happened to look up, from looking down on his target. I simply stood there, not saying a word. When he saw me, we had this staring contest for a bit, he then released his son, turned toward the women and they left the stadium area. Getting in their SUV and driving away.

I witnessed 4 people intimidated by one screaming coward. I was amazed and felt bad for the boy, because, as you said Sheri, that's the kind of father that causes the abused son to survive it all, just so one day they'll be old enough to beat the coward into a coma. And while that may be equal justice, for some, what it truly is is a horrific legacy of generational abuse, because sure enough that abused boy/man, will mimic what he holds in contempt, if/when he becomes a dad, unless he works hard to release the bitterness and let it change him so that he never becomes like dad. Even in wanting revenge, against him in a like manner as what was received as a child.

I find verbal assault, (threats, and all that you asked about) just as insulting to a childs sense of self and character, as I do physical assault. There's nothing as low as an adult that calls their child names, so as to get them to obey. What's especially contemptible is when that abusive parent is surprised their child doesn't respect them. How does one respect abuse, exactly!?

for what its worth i 'd like to share a few storys many of my sons freinds are hit not beat but hit and the effects form that is jsut s serious.one girl jsut ran away form home ot stop her Dad from hitting her and two boys hate there moms one kid is already doing drugs to escape and the one i meantioned is waoiting to retatilate..... i agree gw its an epidemic our children are not safe in many homes..

MW one dosen't need to punish a kid to prepare them for the real world, i wasn't i am a very responsible human as is Gw and shadow who had upbringings that were punishment free , I haven't even had a ticket, i have respect for myself for the planet i live on and see myslef as all others as one and raise my kids the same way... punishing a child is harmful there are no ifs and or buts about it and the proof is out there......not to mention CPS takes a view on hitting that is not as lackadasial..... things are changing for the better IMO... alot more are parenting in awareness......

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Sherapy
Yup, it's against the law to beat your kid

I also agre that, verbal abuse is also bad, it can damage a child for life...if you constantly yell and call your kid horrid names and pick on the kid a lot, putting the child down ect..........the child will wind up hating you....and as you age..and you mellow out, you wind up regretting it...and wonder why your kid has grown up to hate you and stays away from you

it doesnt' take much for this to happen...... thanks for sharing Sis....

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TheKnight
spare the rod spoil the child.. But really what does this mean and what are the implications of punishing as a means to correct undesirable behaviors, from the homes of those that use this method as a parent to to the prisons and laws of a society are we solving the issues we have or are we firmly rooting them in our human physche to our own detrement????....

discuss......

as a humnaity our focus is towards punsihing behaviors to change them , it is thought and its really a tradition that punishing corrects behaviors, its almost a rite of passage ......

yet from a objective view it seems that the observable proof that punishing does nothing to change behavior is loud and clear.

yet .we continue to put alot of energy into societal problems with the same energy that has created them to begin with....

are we in too deep????.

Violence is necessary occasionally. For instance, Hitler, he deserved the death he received. The LRA currently in Sudan....if I was president they would not be where they currently are. I would strike fear deep into their hearts, because to take and do what they are doing to children is wrong. My mother raised/is raising me with balance. There has to be a balance of love and discipline. You have to know your parents love you, but that you can't disrespect them or go against them because they are your parents. With a child, if you say "Stop now." They will stop, but as soon as you turn they will do it again. So you say again, "Stop right now." The child once again stops and then you go back to what you were doing and the child is disobedient again. So what do you do? Do you just let the child run over you? No, you have to cause the kid some kind of pain, and than tell the child "Look (insert child's name here) I told you to stop and you didn't. You have to respect me because I am your mother. So, when I tell you to stop doing something you do it ok?" And if the child is not hard-headed it will stop. Maybe I am too old-fashioned, but I strongly believe in the discipline of children, however there must be a balance. Discipline and Love.

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IamsSon
for what its worth i 'd like to share a few storys many of my sons freinds are hit not beat but hit and the effects form that is jsut s serious.one girl jsut ran away form home ot stop her Dad from hitting her and two boys hate there moms one kid is already doing drugs to escape and the one i meantioned is waoiting to retatilate..... i agree gw its an epidemic our children are not safe in many homes..

MW one dosen't need to punish a kid to prepare them for the real world, i wasn't i am a very responsible human as is Gw and shadow who had upbringings that were punishment free , I haven't even had a ticket, i have respect for myself for the planet i live on and see myslef as all others as one and raise my kids the same way... punishing a child is harmful there are no ifs and or buts about it and the proof is out there......not to mention CPS takes a view on hitting that is not as lackadasial..... things are changing for the better IMO... alot more are parenting in awareness......

How old are these kids that are still getting hit?

Frankly, I have never met a kid who has been raised in a house where he was spanked to be disciplined that had to be spanked after the age of 8 or 9, so if these kids are still being hit, I can almost guarantee it's not discipline it's abuse of some sort.

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Lotus Flower

The thing is, if we can't smack (and I mean smack, not beat with the back of a hairbrush) a child, nor shout when they do something stupid so as to be a danger to themselves or others, what exactly do we do?

One bright spark advocated the idea that if you are pregnant and also have a two year old toddler and take the kiddie on a picnic, but the kid keeps running off towards the duck pond, you should immediately run after him and bring him back without any reprimand - better still, do it for as long as it needs, EVEN if it takes all day! Hmmm that sounds great, a seven month pregnant woman trying to run after a toddler on grass!

The thing is, what kids do doesn't just affect themselves or their immediate families, it can affect everyone around them, from other kids at school to neighbours in their street. If they are never taught right from wrong, they will firstly start off as irritating, then they will turn into brats and then later on nuisances that will have ASBOs slapped on them (which will not stop them anyway). A woman I knew who had a two year old (with sharp teeth I hasten to add) bit her on the bottom of her calf, whilst she was in the queue at a greengrocers one day, tell me what she should have done whilst she is nursing broken skin by a brat?

I smacked my daughters five times (between them) up until the age of two after that I NEVER had to do so again. Personally, I never wanted them to end up as tearaways, I wanted them to be liked and make friends - which they did.

We are not allowed to smack nowadays, but people are now saying we mustn't shout either? So what exactly do we do, please don't say run after the kids, that means they will run us all ragged and will end up being the bosses over the parents. That doesn't sound the healthy way around.

The problem is, you can't reason with small kiddies, it is said that whatever they learn in their first seven years, stays with them. If we don't gain some control, they will not learn and we will end up with even more kids that run riot than we already have.

By the way, I am not saying we should beat our kids, nothing could be further from the truth, but the way the Authorities are going, soon they may as well round all our kids up and teach them all themselves, because as sure as eggs are eggs, they are stripping away any choices we can make as to how we bring our own children up.

Edited by Lotus Flower

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MUM24/7
If you're talking about no punishment, no consequences from doing something wrong, then it's not teaching what the real world is like.

If I don't show up for work one day and don't call or lie about why I'm going to be gone, I will be punished, my pay will be docked, I'll be sent to HR to discuss my apparent disregard for my peers and manager, I could be fired.

What we have here is bad behavior, and the resulting punishment. Kids have to learn that there are consequences for their actions, and they must learn that very early in life or they will make abysmal employees and members of society.

You have no idea what was going on in that woman or that childs life, you have no idea if the kid had previously been ill with a cold that week and didnt want her child getting wet and prolonging the cold, or if they were on their way to another errand and she didn't want to haul a clammy wet baby around (for his comfort, he shouldn't be soaked)... you simply have no idea what her reasons were for telling that child to get out of the water.

It's never ever ok to beat a child... not ever. I'm not even wild on spanking, I don't like it, but I will be honest and upfront that I have swatted other people's children on the hiney for one reason and one reason only... The child refused to give me their full attention and the situtation was turning dangerous. A good swat gets their attention really quick. I'd rather momentarily startle them than allow them to be run over by a careening mail truck or falling off a dock into a fridgid lake or any million other dangerous situtations.

Some children respond very well to "conditioning" if they know that they will lose a priviledge or will be "grounded" if they do something wrong, that's beneficial. It's not beneficial if the child doesn't respond to that type of punishment. Some children respond super well to rewards and thrive on those methods of "gold stars" and a reward at the end of the week. It helps make them feel responsible and in control of their own lives. Other younger children respond to "time out" because it forces them to calm themselves down where they might otherwise have just become more and more active spinning out of control. I see this with physically active children. It seems to work less well with quiet docile kids.

There are a MILLION ways to parent a child, as parents, you should be aware of what you're child responds positively to... and go with that.

Ya can't beat them though, and I think everyone knows that.

Very well said Miss...... :tu::yes:

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MUM24/7
The thing is, if we can't smack (and I mean smack, not beat with the back of a hairbrush) a child, nor shout when they do something stupid so as to be a danger to themselves or others, what exactly do we do?

One bright spark advocated the idea that if you are pregnant and also have a two year old toddler and take the kiddie on a picnic, but the kid keeps running off towards the duck pond, you should immediately run after him and bring him back without any reprimand - better still, do it for as long as it needs, EVEN if it takes all day! Hmmm that sounds great, a seven month pregnant woman trying to run after a toddler on grass!

The thing is, what kids do doesn't just affect themselves or their immediate families, it can affect everyone around them, from other kids at school to neighbours in their street. If they are never taught right from wrong, they will firstly start off as irritating, then they will turn into brats and then later on nuisances that will have ASBOs slapped on them (which will not stop them anyway). A woman I knew who had a two year old (with sharp teeth I hasten to add) bit her on the bottom of her calf, whilst she was in the queue at a greengrocers one day, tell me what she should have done whilst she is nursing broken skin by a brat?

I smacked my daughters five times (between them) up until the age of two after that I NEVER had to do so again. Personally, I never wanted them to end up as tearaways, I wanted them to be liked and make friends - which they did.

We are not allowed to smack nowadays, but people are now saying we mustn't shout either? So what exactly do we do, please don't say run after the kids, that means they will run us all ragged and will end up being the bosses over the parents. That doesn't sound the healthy way around.

The problem is, you can't reason with small kiddies, it is said that whatever they learn in their first seven years, stays with them. If we don't gain some control, they will not learn and we will end up with even more kids that run riot than we already have.

By the way, I am not saying we should beat our kids, nothing could be further from the truth, but the way the Authorities are going, soon they may as well round all our kids up and teach them all themselves, because as sure as eggs are eggs, they are stripping away any choices we can make as to how we bring our own children up.

Once again, very well said Lotus...... :tu::yes:

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Sherapy
How old are these kids that are still getting hit?

Frankly, I have never met a kid who has been raised in a house where he was spanked to be disciplined that had to be spanked after the age of 8 or 9, so if these kids are still being hit, I can almost guarantee it's not discipline it's abuse of some sort.

Son, the girl is 15..she just starts crying at the sight of her Dad....13, 7, 9, 15 on the boys.......I have a freind that works at CPS, i ask alot of questions, I probalby drive her nuts........in many cases calling CPS can help the folks will get parenting classes and counseling but there is the risk of removing a child from their home, its a tough call, i have never called on anyone, as harsh as i seem on here i know that paretns are doing their best with what they know and few really understand the outcome of punishment as a cultuer we odn't at this point....... I would honor the family and speak with them first., before ever dropping a dime......... ..CPS in California is hard core, they don't play when it comes to kids.. you'd be surprised at how many will apprecaite you talking with them and seek help...

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MUM24/7

I'm getting Braxton's Hicks (premature labour pains) so I can't be bothered with huge posts....

Easier for me to agree with these two lovely ladies..... :D

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Michelle

Good luck getting a clear answer, Lotus Flower...all I've seen is telling people what they are doing wrong without revealing their own parenting styles. Excuse me, except telling people how loving, well adjusted, and intelligent their children are.

I'd be interested in knowing how they taught the kids not to stick things in an electrical outlet, not to touch a hot stove, not to stick anything and everything in their mouths, not to cry when they want something, not write on the walls, not pull a whole roll of toilet paper through the house, not run out into the street, don't go with strangers, don't climb on things they aren't supposed to, don't get into the medicine cabinet....

All I can figure is that the kids were brilliant and perfect from the time they were born.

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MUM24/7
Good luck getting a clear answer, Lotus Flower...all I've seen is telling people what they are doing wrong without revealing their own parenting styles. Excuse me, except telling people how loving, well adjusted, and intelligent their children are.

I'd be interested in knowing how they taught the kids not to stick things in an electrical outlet, not to touch a hot stove, not to stick anything and everything in their mouths, not to cry when they want something, not write on the walls, not pull a whole roll of toilet paper through the house, not run out into the street, don't go with strangers, don't climb on things they aren't supposed to, don't get into the medicine cabinet....

All I can figure is that the kids were brilliant and perfect from the time they were born.

So would I ???? :yes:;)

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