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Episode 627


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The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"


[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! null is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, null. So everyone, please put your hands together for null!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now null you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: .

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well , is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you null, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... !

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a null. reaches for the null. Out of the shadows nh appears]

nh: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here .

: Because I saw null and nh making out at null!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

nh: That's a lie! I was home watching !

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem ?

: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with null who has recently become engaged to nh.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring null out here because null had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... that's right!

null: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with ! You know how I feel about !

nh: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with !

null: Because I knew that I could never have . But null promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

nh: What about respect for my feelings!

[ walks suddenly across the stage, embracing null]

: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

nh: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[nh runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

nh: null take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

nh: Married?

[You nod]

nh: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to .

null: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex null times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... null is married to who null has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now null has recently become engaged to nh who was recently spotted kissing null in null. Now on top of this, has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with null.

: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.

[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]


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I think the people that were on that show even confused Jerry. Usually at the end of the show Jerry will say something wise, this time he just lets it all out and says they are insane thats all.

Anyways i think the Jerry Springer show is all an act.

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I agree with you there, Mr-X. It's fake alright. I used to watch it when it was new, but then it got way too ridiculous. An obvious act.

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