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US government: "mermaids don't exist"

Posted on Wednesday, 4 July, 2012 | Comment icon 86 comments

Image credit: CC 3.0 Mehgan Heaney-Grier

In an unusual announcement the US government has assured people that mermaids most likely don't exist.

In a statement from the National Ocean Service officials were keen to emphasise that the aquatic sirens of legend are fictitious following the broadcasting of an Animal Planet documentary entitled "Mermaids: The Body Found". The program portrayed what the creatures might look like and why they've stayed hidden for so long.

"No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found," read the official statement in an announcement strangely similar to another made by the CDC following the 'zombie cannibal' attack last month which prompted them to state that "the CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead".

"The United States government has assured its citizens that, much like zombies, mermaids probably do not exist, saying in an official post: "No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found"."

  View: Full article |  Source: The Herald Sun

  Discuss: View comments (86)


Recent comments on this story
Comment icon #77 Posted by R4z3rsPar4d0x on 27 July, 2012, 19:52
HAHAHA TELL ME ABOUT IT!! In 28 days later werent they infected with the "RAGE VIRUS" ? I could be wrong Its been a while since Ive seen it, its an excellent movie though.
Comment icon #78 Posted by ygoloozotpyrc on 28 July, 2012, 20:39
I don't think they should have said no so quickly after all the deep blue sea is the number one spot for an undiscovered species to be found.
Comment icon #79 Posted by mysticwerewolf on 30 July, 2012, 18:02
I didn't believe in mermaids, right up until the government decided to inform me that they don't exist. Now i have to wonder why waste the time to make sure we all believe they don't exist unless they actually do exist. I don't generally believe in conspiracys BUT I also rarely believe everything that the govenment says, when a statement like this is made there is a reason for it.
Comment icon #80 Posted by TheMacGuffin on 1 August, 2012, 2:13
I never gave mermaids or zombies much thought until Uncle Sam informed us "officially" that they didn't exist. That only makes me wonder what kinds of things they know that we don't, or what they have been cooking up in their military laboratories. LOL.
Comment icon #81 Posted by TheMacGuffin on 1 August, 2012, 2:17
The best way they could debunk something is to say nothing about it at all. As soon as they say something on any subject, most people will think it's a cover up--a little habit the country picked up in Vietnam, Watergate, Contragate, etc, etc, etc.
Comment icon #82 Posted by godlybeing on 28 August, 2012, 16:26
damn, i was looking forward to mee5ting ariel
Comment icon #83 Posted by godlybeing on 28 August, 2012, 16:26
damn, i was looking forward to mee5ting ariel
Comment icon #84 Posted by Ninhursag on 28 August, 2012, 16:43
If The Government Says They Don't Exit, The Definitely Must Be Real.
Comment icon #85 Posted by Silence Dogood on 20 September, 2012, 20:24
If they dont exist the US goverment should counter it and explain what was found then!
Comment icon #86 Posted by Wearer of Hats on 20 September, 2012, 22:50
It's all the fault of some TV movie that presented itself as a documentary, and was actually shown (at least in Australia) on a documentary channel about mermaids being found. This resulted in a lot of people contacting the government to ask about the mermaids, thus the government had to say "stop asking, they're not real".

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