Mark Dohle

Dream walk

September 1, 2009 |  14 comments
Image Credit: stockxpert The other morning I got up for one of my walks. It was very early, about 1:30. The walk started off well, for one of the best moments is simply opening the door and stepping out into the darkness, embracing the feeling of expansiveness that comes from looking up at the night sky, the stars and best of all the moon, in all of it’s phases. Usually I find it easy to meditate as I slowly take my steps around the property. Or if I can’t meditate and quiet my mind, using my prayer rope helps a great deal in keeping me centered and in the moment. However this one morning this did not happen which grabbed my attention for some reason.

As I was walking I would over and over again lose myself in a ‘walking dream’, or “day dream’ if you prefer. I would lose all sense of myself as being present to the moment. I would wake up out of my meanderings and again quiet my mind, only to be swallowed up again in my walking dream. Most of my walk was done in an almost unconscious state and when it was over this experience stuck with me. I noticed this because as stated above, my mind tends to be calm in the wee hours and I can easily be present to the actual moment that I am in. This often becomes more and more difficult as the day proceeds.

Who am I? My thoughts do not make up who I am, since for the most part they are compulsive; tapes that wind and unwind most of the time. Dreaming (daydreaming) about the past, worrying about the future, or listening to inner tapes that make up scenarios about some unresolved issues played out with those I live with as the unknowing participants. It is like going through the day lost in my unconscious, lost to the present that I move through without actually being there. So yes perhaps my everyday consciousness if not checked is not much more than a dream, a world of mirrors in which I play out my inner dramas with others, who are only there for me to take on my projections and transference’s. The less inner awareness the more outer drama I guess.

Are we always dreaming, even when awake? Is enlightenment merely waking up to this reality, at least as far as living in this world is concerned? What does it mean to be awake? I am not sure I have been awake enough to really know. What would it be like to truly see the one before me? Is it even possible? If it is, what is the bridge that allows this? I don’t necessarily think it is language that leads to this, though of course to truly try to listen is a beginning. I would think that hell would be a state of eternal dreaming, where the only important character is the one having the dream, powerless to see others as something more than mere extensions of ones inner nightmare.

Many Christians are afraid of allowing the mind to rest, of trying to be simply present to the moment, for they fear that somehow some demon will jump in and take over. I find this kind of thinking incomprehensible. For what is feared is merely ones inner chaos that needs to be faced if the expansion can happen. We call that expansion “the love of neighbor”, or “to treat others as we would like to be treated”. Sad to say these have become clichés that often have little influence on how others are actually treated. In order to treat others the way we would like to be treated a certain amount of self awareness has to be present.

To become acquainted with ones own chaotic dream, with all of its painful memories, rages and other compulsions, is a form of waking up. It can also lead to something that will allow actual communication with others from the perspective of self knowledge. For once the inner demon is seen, there is also the reality of something deeper and vaster that self knowledge allows one to enter. This deeper place is nameless, at least as far as we are concerned. An ever deepening mystery the beckons us to a place where all that we identify ourselves with drops away, we find ourselves in a void, or perhaps desert would be the better word. Thoughts, self image, emotions and feelings are seen as important but only the tip of a vast iceberg, that swims in the ocean of divinity.

“Father, forgive them, for they know what they do”, is what was said by Jesus on the cross. What does that mean? What if more Christians, instead of quoting scripture and pointing fingers and feeling superior and saved, would place themselves at the foot of the cross and simply allow that verse to sink into their deepest recesses? Perhaps others are more than what we perceive and judge them to be? Is it possible to be a Christian and not to spend so much time judging? The above quote, what does it say about Christ compassion for those who betrayed, tortured and killed him? Are we not called to that? In order to do that what does that say about how we look at ourselves?

I have a name that was given to me by my father and mother. Yet who I am is often hidden from others. True I write but I don’t share everything. Besides I am sure that there is more I don’t know about myself, that what I do know; of that I have no doubt. So I am ‘Mark’, but show a different persona to each person that I meet. I have a name, but in the Christian scripture it is said that we each have a ‘name’ that will be shown to us in due time. A name if it is true is made of the very substance of who I am. So humans cannot name themselves or others in that sense; only “One” within whom we live and move and have our being can name each one of us. For instance we do not have a name for God, it is beyond our capability. God is a generic term, pointing to different theories about divinity. Within each tradition no two people will have the same relationship or understanding of the deity. We grow into the mystery; we are called to a relationship with something ‘other’, formless, infinite and in Christ, shown to be love. So love is the key to the bridge to others.

“Whatever you do to others, you do to me”. Another quote from Christ that is not often reflected upon, at least to the point that it would transform how we look at our neighbors, who are “Thou’s” and not “it’s”. I am God’s “Thou”, and God is mine. So if how I treat others is how I treat Christ, who is the one before me? The ugly one, the hated one, the despised one, what is their name, their essence, what is shown in their irritating presence as they present themselves to me? Indeed what am I dreaming when I can’t see who they really are? Or for that matter who I am? For the call is to “love God with our whole heart, mind and soul”, and as Christ said the second is like that, “to love our neighbor as ourselves”. So to hate and despise another, is perhaps saying more about the one hating and despising, than anything thing else. Those avoided could in reality be our greatest teachers, healers drawing up to the surface what needs to be seen and embraced before the expansion can occur.

When I die my brain ceases, I feel my ego dies with it; what is left? Well what is my name? That is perhaps why death is so fearful, for that name, that essence is not yet known. We are called to infinite expansion, a process that will never end, a thought both terrifying and exhilarating. I am not giving any answers, for quick answers only box us in when it comes to our relationship with that which is eternal.

I really believe that Christianity is still a very young religion. I fail, often, because I as yet have any real grasp of what Christ Jesus is calling me to. I have a feeling however that being called to take on “the mind of Christ” is not some pious saying devoid of any real meaning. So one day I feel the Christian faith will mature into an ever deepening understanding of what it is we are supposed to present or show others. I do not think it is simply throwing out scripture quotes that are based on individual interpretation anyway, that do little good but only feed and give life to unhealthy stereotypes, that sad to say have more truth to them than not.

I am not pointing fingers at anyone, for if I see it in others, well it also is saying something important about me and how far along I have not come on my own inner journey and my compliance with grace. I will always be a simple beginner, for our path is infinite, all we can do is to take one step at a time and not be afraid of the deaths we must endure in order to dive further into the expansion.

Mark Dohle[!gad]The other morning I got up for one of my walks. It was very early, about 1:30. The walk started off well, for one of the best moments is simply opening the door and stepping out into the darkness, embracing the feeling of expansiveness that comes from looking up at the night sky, the stars and best of all the moon, in all of it’s phases. Usually I find it easy to meditate as I slowly take my steps around the property. Or if I can’t meditate and quiet my mind, using my prayer rope helps a great deal in keeping me centered and in the moment. However this one morning this did not happen which grabbed my attention for some reason.

As I was walking I would over and over again lose myself in a ‘walking dream’, or “day dream’ if you prefer. I would lose all sense of myself as being present to the moment. I would wake up out of my meanderings and again quiet my mind, only to be swallowed up again in my walking dream. Most of my walk was done in an almost unconscious state and when it was over this experience stuck with me. I noticed this because as stated above, my mind tends to be calm in the wee hours and I can easily be present to the actual moment that I am in. This often becomes more and more difficult as the day proceeds.

Who am I? My thoughts do not make up who I am, since for the most part they are compulsive; tapes that wind and unwind most of the time. Dreaming (daydreaming) about the past, worrying about the future, or listening to inner tapes that make up scenarios about some unresolved issues played out with those I live with as the unknowing participants. It is like going through the day lost in my unconscious, lost to the present that I move through without actually being there. So yes perhaps my everyday consciousness if not checked is not much more than a dream, a world of mirrors in which I play out my inner dramas with others, who are only there for me to take on my projections and transference’s. The less inner awareness the more outer drama I guess.

Are we always dreaming, even when awake? Is enlightenment merely waking up to this reality, at least as far as living in this world is concerned? What does it mean to be awake? I am not sure I have been awake enough to really know. What would it be like to truly see the one before me? Is it even possible? If it is, what is the bridge that allows this? I don’t necessarily think it is language that leads to this, though of course to truly try to listen is a beginning. I would think that hell would be a state of eternal dreaming, where the only important character is the one having the dream, powerless to see others as something more than mere extensions of ones inner nightmare.

Many Christians are afraid of allowing the mind to rest, of trying to be simply present to the moment, for they fear that somehow some demon will jump in and take over. I find this kind of thinking incomprehensible. For what is feared is merely ones inner chaos that needs to be faced if the expansion can happen. We call that expansion “the love of neighbor”, or “to treat others as we would like to be treated”. Sad to say these have become clichés that often have little influence on how others are actually treated. In order to treat others the way we would like to be treated a certain amount of self awareness has to be present.

To become acquainted with ones own chaotic dream, with all of its painful memories, rages and other compulsions, is a form of waking up. It can also lead to something that will allow actual communication with others from the perspective of self knowledge. For once the inner demon is seen, there is also the reality of something deeper and vaster that self knowledge allows one to enter. This deeper place is nameless, at least as far as we are concerned. An ever deepening mystery the beckons us to a place where all that we identify ourselves with drops away, we find ourselves in a void, or perhaps desert would be the better word. Thoughts, self image, emotions and feelings are seen as important but only the tip of a vast iceberg, that swims in the ocean of divinity.

“Father, forgive them, for they know what they do”, is what was said by Jesus on the cross. What does that mean? What if more Christians, instead of quoting scripture and pointing fingers and feeling superior and saved, would place themselves at the foot of the cross and simply allow that verse to sink into their deepest recesses? Perhaps others are more than what we perceive and judge them to be? Is it possible to be a Christian and not to spend so much time judging? The above quote, what does it say about Christ compassion for those who betrayed, tortured and killed him? Are we not called to that? In order to do that what does that say about how we look at ourselves?

I have a name that was given to me by my father and mother. Yet who I am is often hidden from others. True I write but I don’t share everything. Besides I am sure that there is more I don’t know about myself, that what I do know; of that I have no doubt. So I am ‘Mark’, but show a different persona to each person that I meet. I have a name, but in the Christian scripture it is said that we each have a ‘name’ that will be shown to us in due time. A name if it is true is made of the very substance of who I am. So humans cannot name themselves or others in that sense; only “One” within whom we live and move and have our being can name each one of us. For instance we do not have a name for God, it is beyond our capability. God is a generic term, pointing to different theories about divinity. Within each tradition no two people will have the same relationship or understanding of the deity. We grow into the mystery; we are called to a relationship with something ‘other’, formless, infinite and in Christ, shown to be love. So love is the key to the bridge to others.

“Whatever you do to others, you do to me”. Another quote from Christ that is not often reflected upon, at least to the point that it would transform how we look at our neighbors, who are “Thou’s” and not “it’s”. I am God’s “Thou”, and God is mine. So if how I treat others is how I treat Christ, who is the one before me? The ugly one, the hated one, the despised one, what is their name, their essence, what is shown in their irritating presence as they present themselves to me? Indeed what am I dreaming when I can’t see who they really are? Or for that matter who I am? For the call is to “love God with our whole heart, mind and soul”, and as Christ said the second is like that, “to love our neighbor as ourselves”. So to hate and despise another, is perhaps saying more about the one hating and despising, than anything thing else. Those avoided could in reality be our greatest teachers, healers drawing up to the surface what needs to be seen and embraced before the expansion can occur.

When I die my brain ceases, I feel my ego dies with it; what is left? Well what is my name? That is perhaps why death is so fearful, for that name, that essence is not yet known. We are called to infinite expansion, a process that will never end, a thought both terrifying and exhilarating. I am not giving any answers, for quick answers only box us in when it comes to our relationship with that which is eternal.

I really believe that Christianity is still a very young religion. I fail, often, because I as yet have any real grasp of what Christ Jesus is calling me to. I have a feeling however that being called to take on “the mind of Christ” is not some pious saying devoid of any real meaning. So one day I feel the Christian faith will mature into an ever deepening understanding of what it is we are supposed to present or show others. I do not think it is simply throwing out scripture quotes that are based on individual interpretation anyway, that do little good but only feed and give life to unhealthy stereotypes, that sad to say have more truth to them than not.

I am not pointing fingers at anyone, for if I see it in others, well it also is saying something important about me and how far along I have not come on my own inner journey and my compliance with grace. I will always be a simple beginner, for our path is infinite, all we can do is to take one step at a time and not be afraid of the deaths we must endure in order to dive further into the expansion.

Mark Dohle Comments (14)

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