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Kathleen Meadows

Fate: A lesson in how to lose control, gracefully

March 8, 2020 | Comment icon 4 comments
Image Credit: CC BY 2.0 Dennis Yang
Most people believe in fate and most spiritual faith traditions contain an element of its mystery in its teachings. We like to believe that we direct our destiny and this stands strong most of the time until something weird happens. Good or bad. We all have astounding stories re fate. I have accumulated hundreds over the years as you can imagine. Enough that I don't doubt that there is a destiny for all of us. Understanding and describing its mechanisms is complicated however, but I wanted to give it a whirl.

Opportunity Dances with Character to Create a Destiny

Some say that our destiny is obvious, just look around! You're living it. I don't think it's that easily dismissed. I do believe that there are things like opportunity (or lack of it) that impacts on whether our destiny gets unfolded in the manner it was meant to. For example, a person is destined to be a teacher of many but they're born into circumstances that are poor with resources, support or peace.

Question: What does it mean when we say something was fated to be or that this was our destiny. Furthermore, who is sitting at these controls of destiny do you think?

Loved or cursed.

"Why do all these horrible things keep happening to me when I consistently choose the righteous path?", we wail to anyone who will listen (yes! I do hear this a lot). Something is not right in the world when we choose to be a good person and end up always holding the short stick. It's like a deal that goes perennially south.

But then who were we making that deal with anyway?

Aside from good luck or bad, what raises the suspicion that something was fated to happen? Is it because there was such a small window of timing for it to take place? Is it because we dreamed of the event beforehand? Or perhaps because it feels like no matter what we do, the outcome is habitually positive or negative? If everything in our lives is fated to be, why make any effort at all? There is nothing more astonishing than learning that someone won a lottery six times or someone has been attacked randomly, six times? What did s/he do to warrant such a fate?
Timing is Everything

If it is my fate to meet you, then we shared a thread of matching fates which led us to this point of joining. Fate therefore, would seem to be comprised of many threads and if any one of those threads were to shift then our joined fate would be altered. We've all met someone special and felt that the timing was off. One of us was on our way out of town, or just gotten married, or on our death bed. Of course, that was our fate but that won't stop us from moaning, "Why now?" But then we've all had the experience when we just KNOW it was the right place to be at that particular time. The timing for the opportunity couldn't have been more perfect or more easily missed.

Being at the right place at the right time is everything. Can that be arranged? We would like to think so. Fate drives us to reach more deeply into our emotional core where fear and desire rage. If only we had done such and such or known then what I know now.

There is a dearth of books on the market with outrageous promises that if you do the right thing; visioning a beautiful and abundant future for example, it will manifest. The problem has always been, what to say when that just isn't the case? Because the reality is that terrible things do happen to lovely people. And wonderful things do happen to the nastiest people!

A Lesson in Control

Perhaps the true essence of fate is its lesson in control. Our ancestors would sagely nod and say, "You've angered and/or pleased the Gods and you'll be dealt with accordingly." Our ancestors however, always regarded the Gods and Goddesses as unpredictable and random in their reward/ consequence justice. You couldn't always trust that their meted justice was fair for any reason a human could grasp. There was a time when the divine was believed to be not always good, wise, all loving or all seeing: The Gods were as prone to jealousies, petty bickering, violence, vengeance and moodiness as humans. This however, helped humans explain natural disasters, and personal, inexplicable unfairness. The divine could strike a mighty blow and rain hell on our heads for no apparent reason and humans were left with limited options. That was our fate. Accept it. Deal with it.

When Lady Fortuna has taken control of our destiny wheel, it's likely a lesson about adapting to capricious change. Sometimes I wonder if Lady Fortuna steps in like a chiropractic spiritual adjustment when we have been veered too drastically off our fated track. She may even take us off to the spirit world before we cause more damage to someone's else's fated destiny by living a life that's not our own.

Fate is rarely predictable or attached to good begetting good and bad begetting bad. I think that is its most salient lesson. Don't think you've done something particularly stellar or terrible, rather consider that our lives are at the will of the Gods and be at peace that you don't have as much control as you fancy. In that you may find peace and relief. You aren't in control after all and there will be times when you just have to like or hate the ride but trust the Gods are paying attention.

Kathleen Meadows, M.A. is a practicing psychic Tarot Reader. You can watch her youtube videos where she has posted excerpts of her lectures or read more of her articles at

If you are interested in the esoteric sciences and psychic ability development you will find the articles on my web site an interesting read. Visit my web site Comments (4)

Recent comments on this story
Comment icon #1 Posted by aztek 4 years ago
faith=excuse for poor decisions. 
Comment icon #2 Posted by Kaikou 4 years ago
I agree, I also find it to be a huge problem. It's essentially an escape word. Especailly here in the west we like to use the word "luck", "Good luck with the match today!" "Ah, that's just my luck". It's like a get out clause. "Well, my luck wasn't in today". How much of what you were doing comes down to luck, how much came down to the decisions that you made? I grew up in a poor family where everything at every opportunity seemed to go "wrong" for us. My Mother used to say "We must be cursed". When my Father failed to land a job he would say "I didn't get the job because my face doesn't fit,... [More]
Comment icon #3 Posted by and then 4 years ago
Those 5000 children didn't magically appear.  Human beings made choices that caused them to be brought into a situation where it could be imagined they might starve, possibly even be expected to starve.  We cannot manage the behavior  even of those who love and respect us personally.  We can guide, exhort, plead, but coerce?  Nope.  How much more hopeless to demand change in those we don't know? Arguing about faith in a Creator is pointless but I too often see people who will make statements like these that seem to mock the very idea that God exists while blaming that same God for all th... [More]
Comment icon #4 Posted by Festina 4 years ago
The Bible god Yahweh is not the creator.  Like the “LORD God”[ Yahweh]   said there are many gods and that they  — the proto Israelites — shall have none other than him.  Then he commanded them to kill and rob all that refused to worship him.   Most of the the so called wickedness in the Bible that he was accusing others of doing was simply worshipping other gods and goddesses.  If you are interested see Jeremiah 44.   There are good gods and evil gods. I see  him as evil. Oh and, where was he and what was he doing before Moses showed up?   This is how I picture [More]

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