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Kathleen Meadows

February, the month of the Hierophant

February 6, 2018 | Comment icon 2 comments
Image Credit: CC 3.0 David Monniaux
I was going to launch into Happy Valentine's Day and then changed my mind. I had a complete first draft written, using the tarot Lover's card to plant the theme – until I woke up the following morning with the revelation that this wasn't what I wanted to write about after all. Romance, Valentine's Day, hearts, flowers, chocolate doesn't speak to me about love. Not that there is anything intrinsically wrong with any of these things, but they don't symbolize true love to me.

The Hierophant in the tarot does however, speak volumes to me about love. The Hierophant card symbolizes our spiritual father or holy man. It represents an individual who translates the word of the divine. Conversely, the High Priestess symbolizes our spiritual mother but that's for another month.

The Hierophant Re-Versioned as the Crone or Teacher

The Hierophant teaches (or more accurately, admonishes) morality, personal sacrifice, commitment, selflessness and self-discipline. He's uncompromising. His element is earth, and like a Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn, he's about arduous work, and steadfastness. Do what you say and say what you do sort of guy. In modern, innovative, feminist decks, the Hierophant is re-versioned as the Crone or Teacher, but the meaning alters only slightly.

From a feminist perspective, the Hierophant in classic Tarot is rigid, patriarchal, judgemental and hierarchal. He makes us uncomfortable. In terms of LOVE however, the Hierophant is worthy of notice.

This month, I'm celebrating our 28th Wedding Anniversary. We married on February 16th because I just couldn't bare the idea of marrying on the 14th. That was just TOO.... well you know. Just TOO extra as one of my clients likes to say when describing something that's just TOO much.

We met in July 1989 and married in February 1990. Yep, short and sweet. I can't say I knew from the moment I met him I wanted to marry him. I didn't like him. He was bossy and I don't like to be bossed around. After seeing him a couple of times, however, (I had no choice, he was coming into my place of work), he started growing on me. I noticed I was watching the door every time it opened to see if it was him. Finally, I suggested to him that since I had the following day off (and I was feeling a little wistful about that), why not meet in a spot away from my work environment so I wouldn't have to put up with constant distractions and could focus more on him. He was amicable to the suggestion and so began a series of meet-ups away from my workplace.

When I suggested we move in together because that would afford me even more opportunity to focus on him, he laughed and said, "Not in your life. The only way I'm going to live with you is if we're married." I was a quick study at 34 so I enthusiastically replied, "Let's get married then." He grinned and said, "Sure, since you're askin'."

Then it hit me. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? Had I gone completely bonkers? But once the cat is out of the bag, it's tough to try and get that wiggly thing back in. I had never intended to remarry. My first marriage was a disaster which had convinced me this was not an institution I liked. I'm not keen on institutions in general but this one, for sure, NO.

I regarded him speculatively as he continued grinning at me with one eyebrow raised. "So. When are we going to do this?" I answered, "How about in two weeks?" Had I really said that? Now I was having heart palpitations.
And so we did. Got married in two weeks from that fateful night. Two weeks that flew by in a blur of preparation.

"We were married. You know, nothing is ever black and white, there's a lot of gray in there."

It's said that when we fall out of love, that's when real love begins. Typically devastated, we truly SEE that other person outside our own projections, expectations and imaginings. They are a whole person, apart and separate from us. They are OTHER.

Marriage is a complex relationship. Like one of my wise, widowed clients said the other day, "We were married. You know nothing is ever black and white, there's a lot of gray in there." I was struck with the simplicity and TRUTH of this statement.

In the beginning, we're black and white. We're opposites (and he was about as opposite to me as one could get), and there have been times in our commitment when I've looked across the abyss that gapes between us and wondered how we're ever going to cross that ego-bound divide. How will we find our way back to each other? With rigorous intention, determination, co-operation, compromise, commitment, sacrifice and kindness, we have and do.

Love Must be Equal on Both Sides

The love is too strong a bond to simply give up on. But it must be equal on both sides. That's the wonder of this type of couple love. Both of you, continuously, strenuously working hard from your respective, individual selves, to narrow the chasm, to come back together in a union of opposites that brings out the best in yourselves. "I love and care for myself the most when I'm with you", is the theme song. That's the melody of love waving back and forth between you like bodies of water that nourish and energize you both for a lifetime.

It's the meaning of the Hierophant to me in this anniversary month. It's when I celebrate this deep, abiding and lasting love to which I am profoundly grateful. It's not hearts, flowers, Champaign and chocolate. It's a montage of memories like a patchwork quilt that's nourished my soul for twenty-eight years. It's commitment, doing the right thing even if it's not the easy thing, it's being present with the OTHER through the good, the scary, messy and the joy.

I see you and I love you. That's what February means to me. I wish you a loving, Hierophant February and if not now, then in the not so distant future.

You can read more about Kathleen on her web site She has a reading practice in Canada and online.

If you are interested in the esoteric sciences and psychic ability development you will find the articles on my web site an interesting read. Visit my web site Comments (2)

Recent comments on this story
Comment icon #1 Posted by Delovely5150 6 years ago
It's interesting. In a way she's got a point but I still don't mind a bit of chocolates and flowers on Valentines day. :-)
Comment icon #2 Posted by Ford Fairlaine 6 years ago
She has a interesting point of view. But still, I can't resist chocolate when it's offered on any occasion.

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