Astro-investing: Stocks and stars
Posted on Sunday, 9 April, 2006 | 1 comment
Columnist: Ken Korczak
Can the stars help you strike it rich in the stock market? Can an astrologer give you advice as good or better than Harvard-trained financial analyst when it comes to picking winning stocks?Well, believe it or not, one of the hottest -- and winningest -- trends in stock trading today is called “astro-investing,” a method which employs the precepts of astrology to buy and sell stocks. Thousands of people today are checking star charts instead of price charts and financial statements before they invest their hard-earned money in stocks.To help them out, dozens of so-called astro-investing newsletters are being published at truly astronomical subscription rates. One of the most expensive, the Astro Trend Newsletter, charges a stellar $7,000 per year for 12 issues of astrology-based stock investment advice. At seven grand per subscription, the Astro Trend Newsletter is not begging for subscribers. Business is great, its publishers say.Most other astro-investing newsletters are a bargain by comparison, running between the $250 and $350 range.
Market Systems -- $366 per year for 10 issues using both astrology and technical analysis to produce a stock market timing system telling you when to buy, sell or hold.
Whole Earth Forecaster -- a mere $195 per year for 12 issues that look at solar activity and its electromagnetic effect on earth activities, including the stock market.
Carolan Spiral Calender Research -- $279 per year for 12 issues which uses lunar timing techniques to predict stock market peaks and valleys.
And a real bargain -- the Astro Investor -- just $45 a year for 12 issues that use planetary configurations to predict market wave patterns.
How do these newsletters perform in comparison to the dozens of other Tip Sheets and stock investment newsletters being published today? Well, it may interest you to know that a publication called Hubert Financial Digest monitors just about all stock market advice publications, rating them on success and failure rates. Several of the astro-investing publications rank consistently among Hubert’s top 100 performers.One of the best is Crawford’s Perspectives, an astro-investment tip sheet which scores high on several Wall Street rating systems. Crawford’s uses astrology along with a variety of other traditional technical market analysis methods to predict stock market activity.Does it work? How can the configurations of the sun, moon, planets and stars possibly have anything to do with the financial markets down here on earth? Well, the connections are many and scientific, so say astro-investing proponents.First of all, it’s obvious that the sun and the moon exert powerful direct influences on the earth. A giant solar flare event on the sun, for example, sends massive waves of atomic particles slamming into the earth’s atmosphere, stressing all kinds of electrical systems on the earth.
Sometimes large-scale radio communications on earth can be blocked by solar flares. Space-based satellites can be knocked off line. Because communications are such an integral aspect of financial markets, and the timing involved in trading, it seems only natural that astronomical events like solar flares can directly influence markets.The moon also has vast influence over many earthly activities. We all know the tides go in and out by gravitational influence of the moon. But the moon also plays a huge part in large-scale biological activity among billions of insects, animals and even human beings. Since all this activity is linked, the influence of the moon has a powerful impact on such things as the grain markets, and other agricultural productivity fundamentals, which underlie many financial markets.Some astro-investors make this point: all of the planets in the solar system exert a gravitational and electromagnetic affect on the sun. Those electromagnetic factors play out on the surface of the sun, and are then blasted back to earth by the solar wind.
The solar wind is perpetually playing with the earth’s own electromagnetic field, which is generated by the rotation of our planet’s iron core.But how could the impact of this energy be related directly to what stocks are doing on the New York Stock Exchange? The answer is fairly simple, astrologers say. By making long-term statistical comparisons of stock market trends with that of planetary activity as indicated by astrological methods, many causations and correlations can be observed -- statistical artifacts which can be isolated and applied to future market behavior.I hope you’re catching all this.Anyway, what it all gets down to is that the price of IBM or Microsoft or Amazon.com can be predicted with great accuracy if you consult an astrologer. Those who are convinced that astrology is absolute bunk-o face the task of explaining the exceptional performance of the dozens of astro-investing newsletters.But some say explaining away the astro-investing phenomenon is relatively easy (emphasis on the “relative” as you will soon see).
The astro-investing success rate can easily be explained away, nonbelievers say, by this simple fact: the stock market represents such a huge number of mathematical, technical, fundamental and human incidental variables, it is only mathematically obvious that some astro-investing systems are going to be successful -- not because they are meaningful -- but because they are simply lucky.After all, the stock market has been going nowhere but up for years, so no matter how good or bad the investing advice, your chances of making gains are excellent.Take the famous “dart board investment method” as an example. Every now and then, a prominent group of Wall Street financial advisors decide to trot out the old dart board and give it another test.
Here’s how it works: The names of several hundred stocks are placed around a dart board. The financial “advisor” then stands back and lets the darts fly. Whatever stock a dart punctures is acquired and held for a specific period of time.The result? More often than not, the dart board beats the traditional, technical analysis methods of trading stocks! One group of dart-board investors beat the S&P 500 without fail for 12 consecutive years, and realized an impressive 23.4 return on their dart board stock selections!Not bad. Almost as good as, say ... an astrologer!What this means is that even a person wearing a blind fold and throwing darts at a random selection of stocks has a chance to pick winners as well as any astrologer -- or any Harvard-trained financial advisor!The fact is, the stock market at its core represents not only a nearly infinite amount of mathematical variability, but even more significantly, the vast unpredictability of the human mind.More than anything else, the stock market is a reflection of the biggest mystery of them all -- the riddle of mass human motivation. People act and react according to deeply internalized motivations, most of which they don’t even understand themselves.
More than 80 million individual trades are made each year on the New York Stock Exchange alone. Each of those trades is made by individual investors using their own tips, tricks, methods, advice, information, theories -- all of which add up to a kind of chaos -- and clearly, many people trade using nothing more than “dumb luck” as their method of choice. If you don’t believe this, then you’ve never heard of the latest stock market craze -- day trading.Because of all this, stock market predictions based on star-lore may be just as legitimate as market predictions based on “sound” financial lore. So be it astrologer, banker, broker or Wall Street analyst -- choose your dealer in illusion well. And remember:“Buy low, sell high!”
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Article Copyright© Ken Korczak - reproduced with permission.
Ken Korczak is the author of Minnesota Paranormala: