Mark Dohle
6 comments
Image Credit: Midjourney Mark Dohle: I live in a bubble, within that enclosure resides what I consider to be real. Some of the things that I believe in are shared by the over all culture in which I live, so I guess you can say some bubbles can be very large, while others are connected by specific areas of thought that are compatible; in other words, clusters can be formed. Some people belong to larger clusters than others. Some stay alone; I guess these would be those that are considered mentally ill. Having no common language in which to share their world with others, which in the end leads to a deep isolation, is something very sad to see. Indeed at times heartbreaking for the observer trying to help, or one who is taking care of them on a regular basis. The best many of them can do is ramble incoherently……..though if listened to closely, bits of insight and truth can be gleaned.
Again, others may be very rigid in their thinking, in what they consider to be possible or true, this will also limit how large their cluster is, and this depends on the group that they are associated with. Groups that are in-grown have an aura of infallibility to them, since the only data they allow in, is from the same group. People are learners, so many do not spend their whole lifetime in this state. Personal experiences happen, internal processes continue to move us forward. We ignore them to our own peril. In other words, we out grow some of our beliefs, or perhaps we can also say that they deepened. This leads to more openness to the actual mystery that we are all involved in, allowing ones cluster to grow.
Some of the things that I have allowed into my bubble are experiences that can only be called personal and subjective. They are mine; I can’t prove them to be true to someone who has not had the same experience, or perhaps one like it. So you have groups that are deeply mystical, others secular to the core; groups are formed and walls can go up. For again it is very difficult, to communicate with someone who has not had some kind of similar experience.
I am not just speaking of belonging to some large organization, be it a religion or some other school of thought, for within these groups there can be room for an extensive range of beliefs or non-beliefs. Our bubbles are formed by what we experience as we grow and mature; leading many to forsake whatever religion or assembly they were brought up in; it could also be something totally secular. In our society, the going back and forth is very common, much of it based on powerful reactions to how it was perceived; either as positive or negative. Often, rejected beliefs are still operative on a deep level; this is born out by observing the vitriolic statements often made by those who think they are free from the collective influence of their childhood. When in fact, it is not true, they are merely angry, sometimes with good reason, but tied in a very intimate manner to their past nonetheless. So the bubbles that we inhabit can be very strong, actually keeping many prisoners to their past by the intensity of their anger and hatred. People often think that hatred is the opposite of love; when in reality it is indifference that is its opposite.
Communication is a problem when trying to deal with different understandings of reality. What makes it all the more difficult, is that even within close knit groups, interpretations of beliefs can also lead to trouble, if dialogue is entered into. As long as people don’t attempt to express what they believe or think, they are in fact infallible, but once talking and sharing begin, well there is were trouble often starts. When something is put into writing it can even become more difficult, making many discouraged. Being subjective creatures has it pitfalls, yet from this also comes unique ways of looking at reality, which could be enriching, if listened to and thought about. Instead of being rejected outright, becoming defensive; this in the end is often a cover for anxiety.
I think that it is important to find a tradition to follow and to take deep root in it. This would give a place from which to listen, observe and interrupt what others have to say. There is no need to fear other points of view, for they can often lead to a greater depth of understanding of ones own beliefs. Ok after saying all of this, I would like to share an experience here.
To begin a little history would be in order. When young, from my late twenties until I was almost forty, I had what you would call ‘night frights’. Now there is more than one way to look at these experiences and I think they each have merit. When I was in the midst of experiencing these ‘frights’ I tended to take a strong secular few of them and tried with my spiritual director to use modern psychology (Carl Jung is my favorite) to give me some understanding of this phenomena that I had to endure at least four times a week. I was never afraid to go to sleep; in fact for the most part I did not dwell on it, unless I had a very bad attack (I did not know what else to call it) and brought it to my director’s attention. So we talked, and I prayed over it and thought about it, but it remained the same, actually slowly getting worse.
Then one night something happened. I woke at the usual time, about three AM, but instead of being very frightened I felt a great peace. I sat up in bed, the room was filled with a very subdued light and I had a strong feeling of Christ being there. Also in front of me, on the wall, there was a cross, when in fact I never had one hanging there. It all seemed so normal at the time. I prayed something in thanks and fell right back to sleep. About an hour later I again awoke and again saw the light, this time I felt the presence of the Blessed Mother (I am catholic after all), with the same subdued light. I again stated my thanks and fell back to sleep. After this I had no more night frights for eight months. I did discuss this with my spiritual director, but we never really got to the bottom of it. Perhaps because we were looking in the wrong direction, our world too narrow to fully try to incorporate what happen. Or what I have come to believe what happened.
So as the months flew by, the memory of my night frights became dim, until I did not think about them much. Even though they had been part of life for a long time; in the dream time that is, a place real and important to me. For most of my breakthroughs’ have come from this realm, the timing impeccable, to get me to move on to something different and usually more expansive as I move forward on my pilgrimage.
Until one night when the experiences returned with a vengeance, the attacks became vicious. The first night they returned, as I was asleep, I suddenly got the image of a very large rodent outside my window trying to get in. I woke up so violently that I was actually sitting up when I become fully conscious. I was gasping for air; my heart was pounding so powerfully that I thought I was having a heart attack. It took me about ten minutes to calm down. The first thing I said was: “what the hell is going on”. I was able to get back to sleep after and hour.
A couple of nights later I awoke with the sensation of being pushed down into the mattress, I could not move, I was not paralyzed, just pinned. I keep my wits, and my fear level was much lower than a couple of nights previous. So I simply prayed, and once I started the pressure lifted. I was able to go back to sleep. Then the next night, I awoke and I was being tuned around in circles in my bed, it was very strange, so I prayed again at it stopped.
It was about this time that I was introduced to a couple of Christian healers. I discovered them through one of their books about the NDE and Christians. In the book they stated that they were healers and I felt a pull to contact them since they lived in the Atlanta area.
My spiritual director thought this might be a good idea, since things were starting to get worse instead of better. About a week before I had the appointment with them, I had a very peculiar dream. In the dream, I was lucid, I found myself in a very dark and cold region. From the depths of this region three globes came up and started to communicate with me. As they talked, the globes would show a human face, the faces would come in and out of my vision in cadence with their speaking. I did not feel any kind of fear, though I found them and the place extremely distasteful. I asked them what they wanted from me. One of them made the statement; “we live off evil, and we want you to join us”. I was taken back by this kind of offer, and immediately said no, there was no way I wanted to come here, or become like them. So I woke up, and thought it just a very powerful dream.
So the day arrived, and I did not really know what to expect. I accepted some kind of healing service for emotional wounds, but that was all. For again, my world view was too narrow to think of anything else. So we sat down and they talked with me a bit. After about an hour they said that it was time to proceed with the healing. They also used the word ‘deliverance’ which I did not really understand at the time. So we went into their prayer room, I sat down, and they proceeded to pray over me. Then they ask a question, one that I did not expect, for it was not directed at me, but something that perhaps might be having some kind of negative influence over me. So the posed this question:
“If there is any kind of negative influence attacking Mark, please show yourself”
So I was surprised by the question, but what surprised me more was my reaction. For suddenly, my body reacted in a way that seemed out of my control, which caused me to react in fear, for this was something I have never experienced before, nor did I ever think it was possible. They calmed me down and told me that there was nothing to worry about. So they prayed and commanded whatever it was that was ‘feeding’ off me to leave. Suddenly I could feel a globe coming up from my chest, through my throat and out through the top of my head. I immediate felt like I lost about 30 pounds of inner weight in my chest area. I felt this incredible peace, a state were there was no fear or anxiety, just a serene peace and joy.
After this, we sat and talked a bit. I ask them what happened. Their take on it was I was being oppressed by one or more demonic entities but they were now gone. They also said that this was not the same as possession, since the relative easiness of the expulsion; in any case they have never encountered a full fledge possession; they are very rare, while oppression is not. I also noticed that the pain that I always had in my chest area was now gone, and that I could breathe better. I left and spent the reminder of my time on the road thinking about this experience.
Some would say that it was an earth bound entity, which was once in human form. Others would believe that it was all psychological in nature and the healing was nothing but a natural event, carried out using a catholic rite as the source of healing. Others perhaps say that I was delusional all along the way, and perhaps need medication to help me stay grounded in the ‘real world’ of consensus reality. So there are many outtakes on this. I tend go with what I consider opens me up to the greater mystery; that of reality itself. We label reality in layers. One being supernatural, the other preternatural and then of course of the natural world, when I fact I have a suspicion that they are all in reality one. Our senses limit us, and well that they should, for we need to exist here and simply do what we are here to do. Perhaps ‘some’ of those we consider ‘mad’ or in reality suffering from a system that will not keep unneeded information out. So many get glimpses into something more, often unpleasant, which in the end is only one more piece to what is most likely an infinite puzzle.
Mark Dohle
Comments (6)
An experience of deliverance
June 15, 2009 | 6 comments
Image Credit: Midjourney Mark Dohle: I live in a bubble, within that enclosure resides what I consider to be real. Some of the things that I believe in are shared by the over all culture in which I live, so I guess you can say some bubbles can be very large, while others are connected by specific areas of thought that are compatible; in other words, clusters can be formed. Some people belong to larger clusters than others. Some stay alone; I guess these would be those that are considered mentally ill. Having no common language in which to share their world with others, which in the end leads to a deep isolation, is something very sad to see. Indeed at times heartbreaking for the observer trying to help, or one who is taking care of them on a regular basis. The best many of them can do is ramble incoherently……..though if listened to closely, bits of insight and truth can be gleaned.
Again, others may be very rigid in their thinking, in what they consider to be possible or true, this will also limit how large their cluster is, and this depends on the group that they are associated with. Groups that are in-grown have an aura of infallibility to them, since the only data they allow in, is from the same group. People are learners, so many do not spend their whole lifetime in this state. Personal experiences happen, internal processes continue to move us forward. We ignore them to our own peril. In other words, we out grow some of our beliefs, or perhaps we can also say that they deepened. This leads to more openness to the actual mystery that we are all involved in, allowing ones cluster to grow.
Some of the things that I have allowed into my bubble are experiences that can only be called personal and subjective. They are mine; I can’t prove them to be true to someone who has not had the same experience, or perhaps one like it. So you have groups that are deeply mystical, others secular to the core; groups are formed and walls can go up. For again it is very difficult, to communicate with someone who has not had some kind of similar experience.
I am not just speaking of belonging to some large organization, be it a religion or some other school of thought, for within these groups there can be room for an extensive range of beliefs or non-beliefs. Our bubbles are formed by what we experience as we grow and mature; leading many to forsake whatever religion or assembly they were brought up in; it could also be something totally secular. In our society, the going back and forth is very common, much of it based on powerful reactions to how it was perceived; either as positive or negative. Often, rejected beliefs are still operative on a deep level; this is born out by observing the vitriolic statements often made by those who think they are free from the collective influence of their childhood. When in fact, it is not true, they are merely angry, sometimes with good reason, but tied in a very intimate manner to their past nonetheless. So the bubbles that we inhabit can be very strong, actually keeping many prisoners to their past by the intensity of their anger and hatred. People often think that hatred is the opposite of love; when in reality it is indifference that is its opposite.
Communication is a problem when trying to deal with different understandings of reality. What makes it all the more difficult, is that even within close knit groups, interpretations of beliefs can also lead to trouble, if dialogue is entered into. As long as people don’t attempt to express what they believe or think, they are in fact infallible, but once talking and sharing begin, well there is were trouble often starts. When something is put into writing it can even become more difficult, making many discouraged. Being subjective creatures has it pitfalls, yet from this also comes unique ways of looking at reality, which could be enriching, if listened to and thought about. Instead of being rejected outright, becoming defensive; this in the end is often a cover for anxiety.
I think that it is important to find a tradition to follow and to take deep root in it. This would give a place from which to listen, observe and interrupt what others have to say. There is no need to fear other points of view, for they can often lead to a greater depth of understanding of ones own beliefs. Ok after saying all of this, I would like to share an experience here.
To begin a little history would be in order. When young, from my late twenties until I was almost forty, I had what you would call ‘night frights’. Now there is more than one way to look at these experiences and I think they each have merit. When I was in the midst of experiencing these ‘frights’ I tended to take a strong secular few of them and tried with my spiritual director to use modern psychology (Carl Jung is my favorite) to give me some understanding of this phenomena that I had to endure at least four times a week. I was never afraid to go to sleep; in fact for the most part I did not dwell on it, unless I had a very bad attack (I did not know what else to call it) and brought it to my director’s attention. So we talked, and I prayed over it and thought about it, but it remained the same, actually slowly getting worse.
Then one night something happened. I woke at the usual time, about three AM, but instead of being very frightened I felt a great peace. I sat up in bed, the room was filled with a very subdued light and I had a strong feeling of Christ being there. Also in front of me, on the wall, there was a cross, when in fact I never had one hanging there. It all seemed so normal at the time. I prayed something in thanks and fell right back to sleep. About an hour later I again awoke and again saw the light, this time I felt the presence of the Blessed Mother (I am catholic after all), with the same subdued light. I again stated my thanks and fell back to sleep. After this I had no more night frights for eight months. I did discuss this with my spiritual director, but we never really got to the bottom of it. Perhaps because we were looking in the wrong direction, our world too narrow to fully try to incorporate what happen. Or what I have come to believe what happened.
Until one night when the experiences returned with a vengeance, the attacks became vicious. The first night they returned, as I was asleep, I suddenly got the image of a very large rodent outside my window trying to get in. I woke up so violently that I was actually sitting up when I become fully conscious. I was gasping for air; my heart was pounding so powerfully that I thought I was having a heart attack. It took me about ten minutes to calm down. The first thing I said was: “what the hell is going on”. I was able to get back to sleep after and hour.
A couple of nights later I awoke with the sensation of being pushed down into the mattress, I could not move, I was not paralyzed, just pinned. I keep my wits, and my fear level was much lower than a couple of nights previous. So I simply prayed, and once I started the pressure lifted. I was able to go back to sleep. Then the next night, I awoke and I was being tuned around in circles in my bed, it was very strange, so I prayed again at it stopped.
It was about this time that I was introduced to a couple of Christian healers. I discovered them through one of their books about the NDE and Christians. In the book they stated that they were healers and I felt a pull to contact them since they lived in the Atlanta area.
My spiritual director thought this might be a good idea, since things were starting to get worse instead of better. About a week before I had the appointment with them, I had a very peculiar dream. In the dream, I was lucid, I found myself in a very dark and cold region. From the depths of this region three globes came up and started to communicate with me. As they talked, the globes would show a human face, the faces would come in and out of my vision in cadence with their speaking. I did not feel any kind of fear, though I found them and the place extremely distasteful. I asked them what they wanted from me. One of them made the statement; “we live off evil, and we want you to join us”. I was taken back by this kind of offer, and immediately said no, there was no way I wanted to come here, or become like them. So I woke up, and thought it just a very powerful dream.
So the day arrived, and I did not really know what to expect. I accepted some kind of healing service for emotional wounds, but that was all. For again, my world view was too narrow to think of anything else. So we sat down and they talked with me a bit. After about an hour they said that it was time to proceed with the healing. They also used the word ‘deliverance’ which I did not really understand at the time. So we went into their prayer room, I sat down, and they proceeded to pray over me. Then they ask a question, one that I did not expect, for it was not directed at me, but something that perhaps might be having some kind of negative influence over me. So the posed this question:
“If there is any kind of negative influence attacking Mark, please show yourself”
So I was surprised by the question, but what surprised me more was my reaction. For suddenly, my body reacted in a way that seemed out of my control, which caused me to react in fear, for this was something I have never experienced before, nor did I ever think it was possible. They calmed me down and told me that there was nothing to worry about. So they prayed and commanded whatever it was that was ‘feeding’ off me to leave. Suddenly I could feel a globe coming up from my chest, through my throat and out through the top of my head. I immediate felt like I lost about 30 pounds of inner weight in my chest area. I felt this incredible peace, a state were there was no fear or anxiety, just a serene peace and joy.
After this, we sat and talked a bit. I ask them what happened. Their take on it was I was being oppressed by one or more demonic entities but they were now gone. They also said that this was not the same as possession, since the relative easiness of the expulsion; in any case they have never encountered a full fledge possession; they are very rare, while oppression is not. I also noticed that the pain that I always had in my chest area was now gone, and that I could breathe better. I left and spent the reminder of my time on the road thinking about this experience.
Some would say that it was an earth bound entity, which was once in human form. Others would believe that it was all psychological in nature and the healing was nothing but a natural event, carried out using a catholic rite as the source of healing. Others perhaps say that I was delusional all along the way, and perhaps need medication to help me stay grounded in the ‘real world’ of consensus reality. So there are many outtakes on this. I tend go with what I consider opens me up to the greater mystery; that of reality itself. We label reality in layers. One being supernatural, the other preternatural and then of course of the natural world, when I fact I have a suspicion that they are all in reality one. Our senses limit us, and well that they should, for we need to exist here and simply do what we are here to do. Perhaps ‘some’ of those we consider ‘mad’ or in reality suffering from a system that will not keep unneeded information out. So many get glimpses into something more, often unpleasant, which in the end is only one more piece to what is most likely an infinite puzzle.
Mark Dohle
Comments (6)
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