By: FindMIEmpath33 | Location: Michigan
Hi everyone, I am a 28 year old female, and I need some help interpreting some intense signs I've experienced lately and the events that have arisen because of it. I'm hoping for someone with knowledge of spirit animal guides or animal totems because I am totally lost on this one.
Let's start by saying I came to know I was an empath because I am currently in the process of divorcing a man who has narcissistic personality disorder. The more I learned about him, the more I was led to learn about who I really am as well. I've always been kind of different and was always so confused by the things I felt so reading that being empathic is a real thing was so relieving. It's nice to know I'm not crazy. I won't go too deep into what my husband did, but you know the drill... cheating, lying, gaslighting, belittling, rampant emotional abuse... it got so bad that I could barely move off the couch because I was so depressed... and he just called me lazy and told me to get over it... he was awful to me, but this story is about something different, so I'll just dive into that.
So about 5 months ago, I started having strange encounters with spiders. It sounds crazy, but they would suddenly appear and just stare at me... I'm talking in real life and in dreams. This was when things were getting VERY bad with my husband, and I knew deep down I had to leave. The thing about these spiders that really made me take notice was unique though. They would be all different colors, shapes, sizes, whatever, but EVERY SINGLE ONE I encountered had a red teardrop/diamond shape on it's back, even the ones in my dreams... all of them. It accelerated to the point where I was seeing a spider at least every other day if not every day, and sometimes multiple times in one day.
So I started looking up what having a spider spirit animal means... and it was incredibly applicable to me, so I started paying really close attention and trying to figure it out... could not find one inclination about what the red teardrop on the back could mean though, but it obviously meant something, given that all of them had this same mark on them... The last one I saw showed up in my car on the steering wheel. It didnt move besides when I turned the wheel, and it would just move sideways, never taking it's eyes off me, and for the first time, I wasn't afraid of it at all... a couple days went by and I didnt see another spider. I finally left my husband during that time.
The day I left for good, I went over to my best friend's house... I will call him Bob here for anonymity. Bob has a roommate who we will call Jim for anonymity. I had always felt this draw towards Jim, but I was obviously married, so I ignored it and didn't think about it. The biggest thing was how much my dog loved him... my dog and I are incredibly bonded, and when he really likes someone, it means there is something really good going on with that person... anyway, the day I left hubby, I'm outside chatting with Bob and Jim and I suddenly thought of the spider stuff out of nowhere and wondering why I hadnt seen one in a couple days and what the heck that could mean. And I literally finished the thought, looked over at Jim, and BOOM! He has a tattoo of a black spider with a red teardrop/diamond shaped mark on it's back. It honestly scared the heck out of me, and I immediately made an excuse and left.
2 days later, no spider sightings, and I couldnt stop thinking about what had happened. So I messaged Jim and asked if there was a meaning behind his tattoo... told him what was going on... and his answer shoked me. He said, "it's funny you ask because the reason I got it actually applies to your situation a lot." He got the tattoo idea from a bible quote... in Proverbs I believe. "The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in king's palaces". So I looked up an interpretation of the quote and it was like, exactly what I needed to read. On the ascention up the wall to the beautiful palace, the spider just takes it day by day, and inch by inch and does not attempt to make a shortcut or cut corners. Just keeps moving steadily, until the day she reaches the top, and lives in a beautiful hall. I was bawling reading it.
We never really stopped talking after that, and I never saw another spider with the mark on its back after that... gone. How can I go from seeing one every day with the same mark, and then it just goes away the moment I see this tattoo? I know it means something. Fast forward here. We were talking a LOT and the sexual tension between us was unavoidable, as well as strong feelings of comfortability and compatibility. This guy really has it all... he is smart and gorgeous and funny and he is very close with his family like me (super impirtant to me) and we like the same music, are both obsessed with wolves (i have a husky/ malamute), he has a dog too who I instantly bonded with, the list of the things about him that are things I always wanted in someone goes on and on.
I am also a very sexual person who likes to be explorative with that, and I felt this stirring in me right before we started talking that the "flower was about to blossom full on" so to speak. We decided we should try a more intimate relationship. I honestly couldn't believe it because I think he's the most attractive man I've ever seen... but he told me he thought I was better looking... a nice surprise. So I went to his house and we talked and drank wine (he is a winemaker... major swooning point for me) and we eventually had sex. I feel like the first time with somebody new is generally awkward and not the best... but this was sooo opposite. Probably the best sex of my life straight out the gate. I wasnt ashamed of my body or what I wanted. I felt empowered and beautiful and it was seriously just amazing.
We hooked up 3 more times after that... all equally amazing. I knew my life was complicated and I shouldn't really be involved with anyone, but with the spider signs, I just thought I was being pointed straight at him and he was also just to perfect to pass by, regardless of my situation. And he was aware of the fact I was getting divorced and life was crazy for me. I thought everything was going swimmingly.. Well a week ago from last Saturday... I'm at a friends house and my bestie "bob" texts me a screenshot from fb saying that Jim is now in a relationship with some girl... So I naturally said "sooo... you have a girlfriend?" And he said "i guess, Haha. I was soooo upset. He told me about this girl... they have been off and on for years and he says she has a "spell" on him and he doesn't know why. He went on to explain a bunch of things that she had put him through in the past and it reminded me so much of the man I'm divorcing... they treat you horribly, you still come back. He told me he has awful luck with girls and he gets screwed over all the time and that this girl had acted into hom for years and strung him along and then ghosted him, or started dating someone else. He also told me his last girlfriend before this broke up with him for being "too good to her"... which was confirmed by my bestie who lives with him. He said he had been with this new, but actually old girl the weekend before him and I started hooking up and he had tried to start a relationship, but she got mad at him for something and refused to talk to him.
So then I came along. Well the day before I found out about this relationship, she had called him and said she was sorry and wanted to make it work. He said okay, but to give him a couple days to think (i.e talk to me about it). But instead of respecting his wishes, she went ahead and just put on facebook that they were in a relationship, and then I saw it. She lives 3 hours south of the town we live in, so I was confused as to why he would start a relationship with this girl... they've been "dating" for a week now, yet him and I still talk and see each other a lot, we just don't hook up. I accepted that he had to try with this girl. I don't want him to be involved with me and wishing he knew what would have happened with this girl, and I definitely understand what it's like to love somebody who uses you, so I thought this may be common grooming. This last Friday was Bobs bday. Jim came out to celebrate with us. We talked all night and were essentially attached at the hip. I slept on their couch, and he fell asleep on it as well, but later woke up at some point and moved to his room... the next morning he got up and layed on the other couch and we just relaxed in each others company.
I left for work and we were texting all night. I was almost out of work and going with a couple coworkers for a drink after. I asked if he wanted to meet up and he said he had no solid plans so get a hold of him when I was done, so I did. I didnt hear anything back. He straight up ghosted me and I knew exactly why in my gut... not long after, Bob texts me. Jim's girlfriend is suddenly in town so thats likely why I got ghosted. But I dont get why he would say he had no plans and then suddenly shes here and then just silence. So I sent him a huge long text because it was late at night at this point and I could not wait to say something. I was very angry. He responded back the next morning and said he did want to hang out and he wasn't lying when he told me he really liked me and loved hanging out with me (he had said that earlier that exact same day) and that his phone died. I think that is a total lie... so I asked if she was in town and he told me she was, for a couple days. Somebody help me here. The connection I feel with him is soooo strong and I know he feels it too. He is dating his apparent dream girl, yet he cant seem to stop spending time with me.
Why is this happening? Why did these crazy spider signs that accumulated for over 5 months point me to him, just so he could date this crazy girl? I just don't get it. I just want to understand where this plan of life is taking me. I don't want to waste my time anymore, but I also dont want to just let all the burning potential go and ruin everything. Does anyone have any more advice or insight for me? I'm going insane.